Volume 112, Issue 8 by The Stuyvesant Spectator

“The Pulse of the Student Body”

Spectator University The Spectator College Issue Volume 112 No. 8

December 22, 2021

stuyspec.com

Adrianna Peng / The Spectator

A Note to the Reader Dear Readers, Stuyvesant is infamous for its pressure-cooker environment, where students fixate on grades, tests, and extracurriculars. In many respects, this assertion is true, where the mindset on attending an elite college starts by the time students enter Stuyvesant as freshmen. We feel that our fates are handed to us as we open our acceptance, deferral, and rejection letters––our lives sealed away at the ripe old age of 17. From analyzing college statistics to interviewing alumni and teachers—some of whom attended Stuyvesant—the Editorial Board dove into the admissions process and college culture at Stuyvesant to curate The Spectator’s College Issue. As a school, we’ve let the allure of Ivy League universities dominate our conversations and future prospects for far too long. It’s time to get real about college and admissions at Stuyvesant. ––Morris Raskin and Karen Zhang Editors-in-Chief

College by the Numbers

See page 29 to read more.

College Mythbusters By MAYA NELSON, KENISHA MAHAJAN, ANISHA SINGHAL, and ALYSSA CHOI College is always on our minds. Stuyvesant students anxiously scroll through websites like CollegeVine and college subreddits or listen to horror stories from friends. We know you’re anxious, so the Stuyvesant Spectator has looked into four of the most commonly circulated myths––about everything from summer jobs to freshman year––to debunk (or confirm) their validity. 1. Colleges “hate” Stuyvesant. One of the most common college claims at Stuyvesant involves some variation of the age-old adage “Colleges hate Stuyvesant!” Despite dozens of students being sent to the Ivies and other elite institutions every year, many are still insistent on the fact that going to Stuyvesant harms your application in some way, believing that if they went to a lower ranked school (but earned similar grades and scores), they would be more readily accepted into top schools. If anything, however, going to Stuyvesant actually helps your application. “The simple answer [is] absolutely not,” Stuyvesant college counselor Jeff Makris said. “It’s completely false, and in fact, the opposite is true. This is seen as one of the most rigorous high schools in the United States. There’s only around

two dozen schools in the country that have the same kind of clout when it comes to public schools. They respect us immensely because of students’ academic ability [and] the robust extracurricular opportunities here.” Let’s look at the numbers. Nineteen Stuyvesant students were admitted to Harvard, 15 to Yale, and a whopping 58 to Cornell in 2020. And that’s just three Ivies—over 250 students were admitted to Binghamton and Stony Brook, top state schools. One might make the argument that there were still many qualified students who didn’t get accepted, but there’s no denying that 19 students admitted to Harvard is gargantuan. Most schools around the country, regardless of size, will struggle to even send one. The Ivy-centric mindset at Stuyvesant often distracts from the fact that any elite college is incredibly difficult to get into. “I think the myth comes from our students who fixate on a very small group of incredibly selective schools that have very low admission rates. While these colleges respect our students and love to see our students apply, they’re still going to deny the majority of kids because they can’t fill their entire class with kids from Stuy,” Makris said. It’s not just Stuyvesant where qualified applicants just don’t make the cut—being top of your class at a lower ranked school doesn’t guarantee admission. Yes, there are many

College Culture Is Stuyvesant Culture By AARON VISSER, JENNY LIU, and SHAFIUL HAQUE

comprehend those facts on an emotional level. Stuyvesant’s college culture doesn’t exist in a vacuum. The American college system has major issues. America seems to view college as the pinnacle of human experience, the culmination of all previous years. The application

Nelli Rojas-Cessa / The Spectator

The defining characteristic of “Stuy Culture” is masochism. Students complain about their hardships: the scarce free time they have between homework, studying, and extracurriculars. We revel in “failed” tests and late nights. We want sympathy, but often the pain is the point. It demonstrates just how Stuyvesant we are. It’s a non-gendered toxic masculinity of academic pain tolerance. Everyone who attends Stuyvesant chose to enter this academic coliseum. Most of us were well aware of Stuyvesant’s legendary competitive environment. So next time we complain about academic competition or the intense fixation on elite colleges, take us with a grain of salt. Stuyvesant wouldn’t be Stuyvesant without the culture of high achievement, academic motivation, and the ultimate goal of attending an elite college. It’s why we chose to go here and our parents chose to send us here. While bad mental health and toxic fixation on elite colleges are problems, college culture is a feature, not a bug, of the Stuyvesant experience. Stuyvesant is a school of high achievers. Sixty percent of the incoming freshman class thinks they’ll be in the academic top 25 percent of the grade come senior year. Stuyvesant students were the best at math and humanities in their respective middle schools, ingraining high achievement in their identities. We be-

lieve that we are the best and will do whatever it takes to showcase our academic knowledge to the rest of the school. This hardworking mindset can have positive implications. Most students attend school, participate in classes, and stay on top of their studies to their best ability. They prioritize their future success in a way that will be advantageous down the line. These attributes we take for granted are absent from so many other schools. However, the obsession with future success and admission to an elite college can be detrimental to the present. Stuyvesant students love to pile on stress and anxiety, which damages their mental health. We pride ourselves on running on low sleep, even when it’s known to harm our physical well-being. Additionally, the distant four years of college take priority over high school, which lasts just as long––some perceive Stuyvesant as merely a stepping stone to a prestigious university. Most of us would probably care about college wherever we went, but Stuyvesant serves to reinforce and strengthen toxic college culture. The culture tells us to make it into an Ivy League college or be a failure. It tells us prestige over price, private over public. Intellectually, we know it’s not true. We know that many schools can deliver a quality education and that we don’t need a high ranked school to reaffirm our intelligence. But we’re unable to

process is arduous and the tuition gratuitous. We have hundreds of options, each more luxurious and expensive than the last. And at the end of the day, it’s not about the experience but the credential. Most people don’t really want to go to Harvard, they want to have been to Harvard. This phenomenon was revealed clearly during the COVID-19 pandemic, when universities charged the same tuition for remote classes. Obsession with college has kept pace with prices. Fanatical parents do everything they can to get their special snowflakes into the school they deserve: throwing fits over

low test scores, hiring expensive college advisors to help with their applications and essays, and building the ideal extracurricular combination. Nothing embodied this trend more than the recent college admissions scandal, when wealthy and connected parents cut the line, paying hundreds of thousands of dollars to get their kids into elite schools. We have gone too far. It’s not a Stuyvesant college culture, but an American one. We do have a high achievement culture, an obsession with the best and most exclusive. Of course we want to go to the best schools. In the coming months, many of us will be let down. While 70 percent of freshmen wanted to attend an Ivy League or elite college, once they became seniors, only 47 percent actually did. We’ll look around at our friends going to their first choice schools, see them wearing their college shirts and stating their schools in humble brags. They’ll get to live out their Stuyvesant dream, getting rewarded for their hard work with the elite university they deserve. We’ll feel inadequate and unsatisfied, like someone ended our story before we got the happily ever after. It doesn’t have to be this way. Elite colleges may be no better than state schools, which have challenging honors programs. And a brand name isn’t the key to happiness or the meaning of life. Don’t tether your well-being to an illusory achievement so likely to let you down.

students at Stuyvesant who probably think they “deserve” to get into these top schools, but there are so many factors that contribute to who gets in and who does not. 2. Your freshman year grades matter. / You should start thinking about college freshman year. While your freshman year grades are factored into your overall average, colleges are not going to hold a B in biology against you. Freshman year is a time of adjustment, and colleges understand. The transition to high school often means that students’ first semester grades won’t be their best, but that doesn’t mean one should stress. “Colleges do understand that students do better once they have a chance to adjust to high school,” Makris said. Colleges like to see growth across all four years, so starting off rough freshman year won’t hurt your chances–– it might even help them, as colleges appreciate seeing students’ upward academic trajectories. Rather than dwelling on a subpar class grade, try out clubs and courses that interest you. That way, you can spend the next three years pursuing fields you’re interested in and gaining leadership roles in clubs you’re passionate about. When it comes to thinking about college in your freshman year, that’s continued on page 3

TABLE OF CONTENTS College Mythbusters, p. 1, 3 College Culture Is Stuyvesant Culture, p. 1 Mother Knows Best: Parents’ Takes on the College Process, p. 2 Stuyvesant’s Feelings, Philosophies, and Fears about College, p. 2 Beyond the Ivies, p. 3 Some Advice for Applying to College, p. 4 College by the Numbers, p. 29 From Alumni to Teachers: Are Ivies Worth It?, p. 30-31 Seniors’ VOICES on the College Process, p. 32 “TOUCHDOWN”: One College Essay That Worked, p. 32

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The Spectator ● December 22, 2021

Spectator University Mother Knows Best: Parents’ Takes on the College Process High school, college, and everything in between. Though this point in students’ lives is seen as the juncture at which students assert their realized independence and handle their own affairs, in such a high-stakes academic environment like Stuyvesant, the parents in the community are more than just involved. Most parents play a large part in their children’s education and the direction it may head beyond graduation. Acceptance to Stuyvesant is an achievement celebrated by families across the city, but the focus often shifts quickly to something bigger: college admissions. Li Xiao, freshman Ian Buchanan’s mother, has been proactive in assuming the responsibility of gathering information on future steps for Buchanan to ensure his academic success leading to senior year. “I have been trying to join all of the informational calls provided by Stuy [...] about college admissions to U.S. schools and also international schools [...] to get information to prepare what we need to do within freshman and sophomore [year],” Xiao said. “It’s hard to have a total comprehension of what’s coming up in two years, but in general I would say [by senior year], Ian will have already established a strong interest in one area.” This cognizance seems to lead to an unspoken agreement within the Stuyvesant community; college plan-

ning starts long before junior year, and professional development, such as resume planning, often starts as early as freshman year. This hope stems from a takeaway presented in the calls Xiao attended: College admissions have shifted priorities in recent years to focus on student interests and development rather than standardized testing. “Nowadays, a trend in colleges is that [...] SAT scores are not required,” she said. “You can tell that the admissions officer[s] don’t want a kid just checking the boxes. They want to see kids really work on their own interests and try to create something.” Parents’ diligence may be related to their feelings that Stuyvesant isn’t offering college preparation early enough. “I think that that’s a missed opportunity for Stuy. How do we get all Stuy students, well in advance— ninth, 10th grade—thinking about strategies for applying to college?” Mona Bijoor, sophomore Jaya Bijoor’s mother, asked. Mona Bijoor proposed the idea of starting a club or hosting an assembly in order to introduce underclassmen to the college process earlier, hopefully pushing students to start working on resumes and applications in their freshman and sophomore years. “A club that would prepare you, right off the bat, in ninth grade, to start even just putting a draft of your resume together. Even if it has nothing on it, it would at least be so powerful, because it kind of says, ‘OK, I need to fill this page,’” she said.

For the most part, parents are also well aware of the pressure that comes along with being surrounded by passionate students who are all competing for the same colleges. “It’s totally toxic [...] You end up just [loading] up your day with classes and work, and you literally don’t have free time for yourself. And not only that, you worry about your GPA,” Xiao said. “So you just have to maybe balance your kids a little bit, [to not take] too many crazy courses.” Xiao acknowledges the influence that she has on her son but hopes

summer [internships], anything, just have him do it [...] and try to give him chances.” Even parents who have past experience in specialized high schools, such as Darius Nemati, senior Francesca Nemati’s parent and a Bronx Science High School alum, are sympathetic to the modern process, which seems to be very different from that of years past. “There are more opportunities now but a lot more work for the college application than in my time,” Darius Nemati said.

to serve as a guiding force rather than a decision-maker. “Inevitably, at home, everybody would say, ‘Oh, I’d like you to stay in the U.S. [...] It would be interesting if you could [be an] entrepreneur.’ Those comments inevitably come from parents at the dining table or just casually. He definitely hears, but I really think he has to find his own interests,” Xiao said. “I’m trying to gather information on

He found the process at Bronx Science to be more streamlined and is critical of the college office at Stuyvesant. “Our college guidance counselors [at Bronx Science] were a lot more helpful than what I have seen at Stuyvesant,” he said. “The college counseling office is, for the most part, useless.” However, he found value in the process at Stuyvesant in other ways, specifically

Sophia Li / The Spectator

By MOMOCA MAIRAJ, KRISH GUPTA, and RAYMOND YANG

noting the seminars by the Parents’ Association. A similar sentiment was echoed by Mona Bijoor. Though she applauded the variety of extracurricular activities at Stuyvesant, she believes that the counseling department is often overwhelmed and subsequently unable to provide individual attention to students. “[There’s a] lack of communication and lack of resources, and I don’t think the guidance counselors really talk to the kid proactively until they have to, because they’re stretched so thin.” Like Xiao, Todd Kaloudis, junior Hana Kaloudis’s father, noted the challenge parents face in adjusting to their children’s needs while also letting their children take charge. “It’s a very slippery slope. I think some parents do this or may be tempted to––they sort of feel the responsibility themselves through their children to think about college,” Todd Kaloudis said. “I don’t think it’s healthy for parents or their kids to go into high school thinking the goal is just to get into college. That may be one of the goals, absolutely, but it’s important to grow as a person in high school and to enjoy the journey, which is definitely going to be different for each student.” Darius Nemati agreed and placed an emphasis on the fact that his primary goal is for his daughter to be happy. “I just hope she is happy wherever she ends up going,” he said. “We are not overbearing. We are not pushing her to do anything she doesn’t want to do.”

Stuyvesant’s Feelings, Philosophies, and Fears about College By THE EDITORIAL BOARD There’s no question that at Stuyvesant anxieties around college often begin during freshman year. It’s also no surprise either that getting into a prestigious college is baked into the ethos of a “specialized high school.” Oftentimes, when hopeful eighth graders sit down to take the SHSAT, they see high school as a stepping stone to college. Over the course of four years, however, this perception tends to change. So, how exactly do current freshmen view college? How does this differ from seniors who are currently enduring the application process?

Where do you want to go to college? “Well, I want to be a doctor, so something with biology or something like that, but I also want to get into NYU [...] I don’t think [prestige matters]. If you want to be an engineer or something crazy like that, you’d be better off getting into a good college, but a job is just based on expertise, and what you know.” —Alex Genkin, freshman

“I don’t know where I want to go, but I have an idea of what I want to study and the type of college. I would say a bigger college because there are more opportunities, and then also, I’m interested in medicine and business, so definitely maybe something in biology.” —Alexa Seltzer, freshman

“I’ve been thinking about certain colleges but I’m still very tentative. The way I’ve always thought of it is that I would apply to the more prestigious colleges but if that doesn’t work out for me I would look into community or local colleges.” —Sarah Kim, freshman

“I’d love to go somewhere outside of America or New York because the city [is] kind of a trash bag sometimes, so I would like to spread my wings [and] go other places, like I think RIT has an abroad program for Croatia. And I have a friend there, so I’d like to visit him sometime.” —Malemnganba Ashem, senior

To hat e te t o o r pare t “They influence it a lot. Both of my parents are actually in business, my dad went to Michigan and my mom went to [University of Massachusetts Amherst (UMass)], so UMass is a smaller college for that, and they’re also very dedicated to my education so they want me to study harder and get into better colleges.” —Alexa Seltzer, freshman

“Obviously, I’ll be happy with an Ivy League, like most people will be happy with an Ivy League. I’m good with NYU, I’m also good with some safety schools like Stony Brook, maybe, or Rochester [...] I have some high goals, but I also want to be realistic.” —Jishan Chowdhury, senior

e ce o r co e e cho ce

“My parents are looking into studying abroad because it’s less expensive there. I know a lot of, especially jobs like doctors, like medical professions don’t really look at college as much.” —Alex Genkin, freshman

“Me, personally, I would follow what I think rather than what my parents think. [...] If they want me to change my major or stay in the city, I would be like, no, that’s my choice. I know that unfortunately, some kids have tiger parents, so they don’t have that choice, so I feel lucky that I have that choice.” —Christopher Chin, senior

“I’ll listen to their opinion but [...] I wouldn’t let them choose my whole major—that’s the rest of my whole life. If I’m going to make a mistake, I’m going to do it myself. I’m not going to let someone else do it for me.” —Jishan Chowdhury, senior “Most of what I hear is from my parents like, ‘Make sure you know about this,’ but it always seems like too much to understand.” —Yingwen Huang, freshman

What is your perception of the process? “Kids nowadays focus [on college] a little bit too much. [...] What college you go to doesn’t determine your whole future. Yeah, college is important, but college doesn’t determine everything overall, so try not to focus on it too much. It’s more important to figure out what you want to do and find something that you are happy doing as well.” —Christopher Louis, freshman

“The only thing that I’m currently worried [about] is clubs and all because you would like to have those for four years, so I kind of have to get involved now or at least have some idea of what I want to join or make.” —Alexa Seltzer, freshman

“Generally I don’t really know that much about it, but based [on] what I’ve heard it’s really stressful. Every Wednesday I have a club and it was even canceled one time for college applications and stuff like that, so sounds stressful.” —Felix Lin, freshman

“I mean what I’ve heard sounds very complex and requires a lot of hard work to make this application. I’ve heard about people writing college essays [at] the beginning of the school year and thought that sounded very intimidating.” —Sarah Kim, freshman

Have you started preparing for college? If so, how? “I looked into it once and I talked to some seniors, but other than that, I haven’t done any individual research.” —Christopher Louis, freshman “No [I haven’t been preparing], I’ve just been focusing on adjusting to school.” —Sarah Kim, freshman

“I wouldn’t say I’m fantastic at it, but I would say I have some semblance of an idea because I do meet with my college counselor, though not often, I wouldn’t say I’m too crazy experienced with it.” —Malemnganba Ashem, senior

“I did a lot of research on it and I think that there are a lot of different parts to it. The SAT is becoming less of a big part. It’s a standard criteria and it’s less of a deciding factor and it’s more of like your personal essay, which I think puts a lot of pressure on that and also clubs, [extracurriculars], grades, and attendance in high school.” —Alexa Seltzer, freshman

“I know the relative month my deadlines are. I don’t really know the exact date until I have to do the college application. For the supplements, I feel like I finish[ed] most of them during the summer, but I know a lot of people are rushing their supplements at the last minute, and I honestly did that for a few of my applications already. I feel like I’m decently prepared.” —Christopher Chin, senior

The Spectator ● December 22, 2021

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Spectator University Beyond the Ivies tion, boasting low acceptance rates, large endowments, and notable alumni, including several Nobel Prize winners, United States presidents, influential CEOs, and other world leaders. Because of the highly competitive nature of these schools, students who attend are usually the highest achieving. So, the elite nature of the Ivy League is, in a way, simply the result of a self-fulfilling prophecy.

By SOPHIE POGET, ANGELA CAI, CHRISTINA PAN, MAYA NELSON, and FRANCESCA NEMATI

What is the Ivy League? Harvard. Yale. Princeton. UPenn. Brown. Columbia. Dartmouth. Cornell. How have these schools become known as the highest embodiment of prestige in American education? These eight schools that are now considered the Ivy League are all located in the Northeast, with seven established before the American Revolution and Cornell founded after the Civil War. The Ivy League was officially formed in 1954 as a National Collegiate Athletic Association athletic conference. Before then, the name, possibly in reference to “Planting the Ivy” ceremonies held at many colleges in the 19th century, had been used to refer to Harvard, Yale, Princeton, the University of Pennsylvania, Brown, Columbia, Dartmouth, Rutgers, and the College of William and Mary, as well as the United States Naval Academy and West Point in the context of athletic tradition, but there had been no formal athletic conference established between these schools. Now, the name “Ivy League” is more associated with academic prestige than athletics. The Ivy League schools are consistently ranked among the best in the na-

Public Universities The traditional notion of a “prestigious” college education comes at a steep price. At the Ivy League schools and other private, top-ranked institutions, tu-

Reya Miller / The Spectator

Ubiquitous in Stuyvesant culture is the idea of attending one of the eight Ivy League universities after graduating. This mindset is often found as early as freshman year: according to The Spectator’s Class of 2025 Freshman survey, 60.1 percent of freshmen agreed or strongly agreed that after graduating from Stuyvesant, they might attend an Ivy League University or another elite university, with 34.6 percent staying neutral. Given the competitiveness of the Ivy Leagues however, the reality is that only a small portion of students will be attending them after four years. However, Ivy League universities are not the only schools in existence, nor should getting into them be the only goal Stuyvesant students fixate on during their high school career. From public universities to the “Hidden Ivies,” there are a number of top-ranked schools that fall outside of the Ivy League consortium yet rank just as highly. In fact, students should look into colleges that truly fit them best , whether it’s for a specific field or study—these schools may or may not be the Ivy Leagues. Here are the different kinds of schools outside of the eight Ivy Leagues and their varying advantages.

ties while viewing as safety schools the City Universities of New York (CUNYs) and the State Universities of New York (SUNYs). What is often not acknowledged about these state schools is that they are a legitimate alternative to other schools that are harder to get into. A large portion of the Stuyvesant graduating class will matriculate at CUNYs and SUNYs, whether to study at Stony Brook University’s well-founded biology program or the highly specialized criminal justice program at John Jay College. The yearly tuition fee at a public university typically hovers around $25,000 for out-of-state students, which, over a four-year

ition fees can add up to well over $60,000 for just a single year of enrollment. Considering that over half of Stuyvesant’s population qualifies for free or reduced price lunch, many students cannot afford such tuition fees without taking out copious student loans or burdening family debt. Yet there are many public alternatives that more than meet the challenge of fulfilling the “Ivy” standard. These schools include the University of California (UC) schools, Binghamton University, University of Michigan, Ann Arbor, University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill, University of Virginia, and many more. These universities typically have large undergraduate programs with more intimate or advanced programs nestled within them, which provide students with smaller communities as well as specialized academic opportunities, such as UC Berkeley’s lauded music conservatory or University of Michigan’s strong engineering program. These public universities have higher acceptance rates than the Ivies, but are just as difficult to get into. Many Stuyvesant students set their sights on these top universi-

undergraduate program, sums to around the cost of about one year at an Ivy League. The tuition is even lower at CUNYs and SUNYs. Though these public schools may not be status markers in the same way that the brand name of an Ivy can be, they offer a similar education at a price that arguably offers the same, if not, more value to students in the long run. Hidden Ivies For those still adamant about Ivy-adjacent prestige, the “Hidden Ivies,” or schools without the name recognition of the Ivy Leagues that provide a similar academic experience, are also worth considering. Despite their name, the Hidden Ivies are not all that hidden, as most are considered to be top 20 or top 50 schools with rigorous academics. These schools typically have higher acceptance rates than the Ivies, lying around the 10 to 20 percent range, but are still difficult to get into. Some of the most recognizable Hidden Ivies include Pomona College, Amherst College, Rice University, and Boston College. Others lesswell-known are Claremont McKenna College, Kenyon College, and Tulane University. Many of

these schools center around a liberal arts education, though others have notable STEM programs. A main distinguisher from the Ivy Leagues is that these schools are found across the country, a large benefit for those not looking to settle in the New England area. Additionally, these schools usually have a strong focus on their undergraduate programs, investing more funds and resources into them than most schools. However, both Ivies and Hidden Ivies have strong academic curriculums with selective admissions rates. While it can be hard to separate from the Ivy-focused mindset that comes with the long establishment and popularity of those elite eight schools, there are so many equally prestigious alternatives that are worth considering. Liberal Arts Colleges A common misconception about liberal arts colleges stems from the name itself. Liberal arts defines art in the sense of a learned skill rather than specifically the fine arts. Before contemporary usage, the knowledge of liberal arts was seen as requisite to be considered a free person and to take an active part in civil life. This knowledge encompassed rhetoric to arithmetic to astronomy. Nowadays, an undergraduate liberal arts education is less about the source material than the broad intellectual grounding in all types of inquiry. Liberal arts colleges include Williams College, Swarthmore College, Bowdoin College, and Harvey Mudd College. Other specialized schools like Barnard College and Wellesley College can provide a unique learning environment for females. These schools offer a strong alternative for students who want to step outside of the regimented system of learning (in many ways similar to Stuyvesant) that many Ivy Leagues and other high-ranked universities traditionally lean towards. As opposed to Ivy Leagues, with enrollments of up to 30,000 students, many of these private liberal arts colleges have much smaller class sizes and professorto-student ratios. This allows students to interact with faculty on a more personal level and grants freedom to explore classes catered specifically to their interests. For students hoping to attend graduate school, fostering a close relationship with professors is important for getting quality letters of recommendations, which play a large role in graduate school admissions. While liberal arts colleges are not always recognized at the same level of prestige of an Ivy League school, they offer a valuable and unique college experience with a similar wealth of academic

resources, research opportunities, and rigorous coursework. Since the primary objective of a liberal arts education is to “liberate” the mind and move beyond professional and career-oriented training, a common notion heard among many Stuyvesant students (and parents) is that a liberal arts degree is “useless.” Perhaps it is not a degree that can offer a mark on a piece of paper which will get you a job in the corporate world. But it can be a way out of the mechanical existence that may be found in the lives of those who constrain themselves to the traditionally acceptable universities, degrees, and career paths. It teaches students to write and think critically—important skills needed in any career path. Trade Schools The traditional four-year college experience is not for everyone, though. Another great secondary education option is trade schools, which can prepare their students for a wide range of careers, from cosmetology to aeronautics. These schools are ideal for those who know what field they’d like to pursue and wish to receive a specific education based around it. Many of these schools offer two-year programs, or allow students to take online courses to become certified. For example, the Culinary Institute of America, one of the US’s top culinary schools, offers in-person courses at several campuses across the country as well as online courses and a study abroad program to Singapore. Other top trade schools include the Pittsburgh Institute of Aeronautics, Aveda Institute for cosmetology, and Fox Valley Technical College. Many of these vocational schools offer similar options to their students, who don’t need to miss out on classic college experiences and have the added benefit of securing a career earlier than many of their peers attending typical colleges. Graduates of trade schools often cite the affordability of their education, as it costs students an average of $33,000 to get their degree, meaning they typically graduate debt-free. Trade schools also tend to offer courses all-year round, so students can take courses whenever it’s most convenient for them. The structure of trade schools are not for everyone; since they acutely prepare students for a specific field, they require students to have a clear career path in mind. However, they are much more affordable and accessible than the average college education can be, and therefore should still be considered when thinking about higher education.

College Mythbusters continued from page 1

all it should be: thinking. “It’s ok to be curious about colleges and to explore prospective majors, but we really want to avoid kids feeling like they need to know what their favorite school is by the end of ninth grade. You have a lot more time than that, and it’s premature. Let yourself adjust to high school,” Makris said. 3. Safety/targets schools won’t accept o er a e app ca t As much as we would love to play mythbusters and tell you all your college worries are completely unfounded, some college myths are true—and yield protection is one of them. Some colleges care

a lot about having a high percentage of students accept their offers, meaning that colleges may reject or waitlist very strong applicants who they think will choose a more elite school over them. This practice has been dubbed “Tufts Syndrome” by many, because Tufts, along with many other near-Ivy schools, is known to engage in this practice. The good news is that the practice isn’t too widespread. “[Yield protection] normally would only happen in pretty rare circumstances, with colleges that put a heavy emphasis on what’s known as demonstrated interest,” Makris said. Demonstrated interest is the degree to which a student displays genuine regard for a particular institution. “They’re looking for signs of contact between the stu-

dent and the college, because that helps them predict if the student will actually enroll,” he said. “If the student has not shown any interest in a particular college they’re looking at as safe […] that could work against that particular student.” Yield protection can sometimes result in students getting rejected from schools they’re qualified for. But look on the bright side: if a school is rejecting you for yield protection, they clearly think you have a strong application and are willing to bet on you getting into another elite school. If you fear your application will fall victim to yield protection, really drill in your love for the school through supplemental essays and demonstrate interest.

4. Every summer counts. Freshmen and sophomores obsessively fill their summer schedules with internships, classes, and programs. And you should do something over the summer—it’s a great time to work on things you are passionate about. But don’t fill your time with activities that don’t matter to you for the sake of college. If you do a particularly impressive activity, you can include it as an extracurricular or write an essay about it, but colleges generally do not ask how you spent your summers. “Colleges aren’t saying, ‘We have to make sure this kid did something every summer,’” Makris said. “But more holistically, ‘What has this kid done while they’re in high school?’” So don’t stress about the

warmest season too much (you already get 10 months of the year to do that). Do something you enjoy over the summer. Work at a summer camp! Find a job! Take a cool course! Give back to your community! Travel! These could all be rewarding and enriching experiences that may also wind up being components of your college application. You will have a far more authentic college application if you do something for yourself rather than something superficial for colleges to see. “Extracurricular talents and engagement certainly [matter] for many colleges, but that doesn’t necessarily have to be ‘Every summer I have to do some sort of formal program, or I’m going to be seen as inactive,’” Makris said.

Page 4

The Spectator • December 22, 2021

Spectator University Some Advice for Applying to College By JONATHAN SCHNEIDERMAN Jonathan Schneiderman (’21) is a firstyear student at Harvard College and a Spectator Opinions Editor Emeritus. Nota bene: This is not a comprehensive guide to the college admissions process. I am in no position to write such a guide; each person who applies to college finds himself or herself at a unique nexus of many circumstances, and there were doubtless things I experienced in my college admissions process that you will not and things you will experience that I did not. Nonetheless, I do think there are some tips that apply at least to a good majority of people applying to college, and I hope these are some of them. There are also pieces of advice that are important—for instance, that one ought to begin with one’s needs and wants in forming a list of colleges one wishes to apply to instead of appealing to those godforsaken lists—but that are so baked into how Stuyvesant encourages students to pursue their applications that I have not included them here. None of this is intended to supersede the College Office; Mrs. Hughes, Mr. Makris, and Ms. Wilson are all experts, and I have received only good advice and other assistance from them in my interactions with them. If you see any contradiction between what your counselor tells you and what I’ve written here, please listen to your college counselor.

Tip 1: 90 percent of essay-writing is the idea You should begin the college essay-writing process right about now. Even if (as is and should be

Sometimes when I have writer’s block, I just write nonsense, usually in the form of swear words. Like this: [EXPLETIVE], [EXPLETIVE], [EXPLETIVE], [EXPLETIVE], [EXPLETIVE], etc. I call this the King’s Speech approach. Tip 2: Write about what you find interesting There are two criteria for the content of your essays: one, it should answer the question; two, you should care about it and find it interesting. Don’t write about what you think they want to hear; write about what you want to write about, and what you have something to say about. The key thing about the college essays is that they serve two interrelated purposes: one, to give admissions offices a sense of you as a writer; two, to give them a sense of you as a person and a thinker. You’ll convey the former of those best if you write essays about what interests you, and you won’t convey the latter at all if you don’t.

that, while not the same as using them to rehash one’s résumé, are along the same lines: people will use their essays to show how extreme they or their experiences are, in the hopes of standing out to admissions officers. Again, that’s simply not how it works. Admissions officers are interested in your reflections more than in what you’re reflecting on. The goal is to be yourself, not to shock or wow the audience (unless, of course, you are simply an amazingly thoughtful writer, though of course such writers don’t usually get there by trying to be amazingly thoughtful writers). I wrote my Common Application personal statement about something pretty straightforward: reading a document in Model U.N. in middle school. Bruni, based on his interviews with admissions officers, provides some examples of how students try just a little too hard, namely a student who wrote about peeing her pants so she could continue an intellectually stimulating conversation with a teacher and a student who wrote

at least one essay describing the author’s struggle with the form of self-mutilation known as “delicate cutting.” “And there are some things where I just feel like: Don’t write that,” Jones said. “Please. Don’t expose yourselves.” Unlike résumé-rehashers and whatever the [EXPLETIVE] is happening in tip four, this isn’t showing off. It’s not performative. Students who write about these things are writing about real, impactful struggles. It’s just that college essays are almost never the place for that kind of real, impactful struggle. Serious isn’t the same thing as dark and personal. Tip 6: Write good “Why” essays by applying to schools you like—and use “Why” essays as a means for figuring out which schools you like most Most schools you apply to will probably have you write an essay about why you want to go to that school. More than any other essay in the process, these should not be hard to write. The reason for this is that you should be applying to schools you like, and for specific reasons. If you find yourself not knowing what to say in “Why” essays, consider that you may need to look further for schools you’re really interested in. Remember: college is a match to be made, not a prize to be won. You should only be applying to schools because they would be a good match for you, and the reasons they would be a good match should make for an easy “Why” essay. And if you find that you don’t really know what to say aside from clichés in a “Why” essay about a school generally considered élite, you should consider that the main draw of the school may be its élite status, which is a bad reason to attend a school.

Courtesy of Jonathan Schneiderman

Tip 0: The Platitudes are True In light of the COVID pandemic, I don’t know how exactly the College Office here at Stuyvesant is approaching the Class of 2022. For the Class of 2021, however—and to my knowledge for classes before us going back to time immemorial—the college process officially began when we were taken during one English class to a lecture hall, where a college counselor introduced us to it. To be honest, I don’t remember most of what Mrs. Hughes said that day, but one line stayed with me: “College is a match to be made, not a prize to be won.” That is, the goal of the college admissions process is to end up with the unique school that suits your unique needs most, not to get into the school that is “best.” Indeed, because college is a matchmaking process rather than a prizewinning contest, there is no objectively “best” college, in the same way as there’s no objectively “best” romantic partner, even if there are some qualities we’d all like in our romantic partners. Furthermore, schools are pretty good at judging which applicants are the best fits for them, so people are usually happy wherever they wind up, even if their initial reaction to their admissions decision is disappointment. This is especially so at Stuyvesant, where virtually all students go to schools with very strong academic and extra-curricular offerings. Because of this, there is really no reason to get hyper-stressed over the college admissions process. And yet we do anyway. The reason for this is that tidbits like, “College is a match to be made, not a price to be won,” even if we know them to be true, can feel like platitudes—nice-sounding, fauxcomforting vacuities. One of the most important things you can do during the college admissions process is remember that they’re not, and one of the worst missteps you can take is to forget that. To that end:

Tip 0.5: Read Frank Bruni’s book Perhaps you will find that your mind never slips into the toxicity of what New York Times columnist Frank Bruni calls “the college admissions mania.” If you do enjoy that fate, I congratulate you nearly as much as I envy you. If you are not so lucky, though, I strongly recommend reading Bruni’s book “Where You Go Is Not Who You’ll Be: An Antidote to the College Admissions Mania.” I believe college counselor Jeffery Makris sometimes recommends this to people. I came across it through my dad. Now, you may be coming across it through me. It’s excellent, and what it does so well is make statements like, well, “Where you go is not who you’ll be” feel true to someone who already knows they are but doesn’t feel them to be so.

completely normal) you don’t yet know what schools you wish to apply to, you should be starting the process for writing the essay for, say, the Common Application, if you intend to use it. However, while it is perfectly fine to begin actually writing or typing now (I wrote my first essay in late March), and while it’s nice to get a healthy amount of work knocked out during the summer, you don’t actually need to begin writing or typing until late summer or even autumn. So what do I mean when I say that you should begin the writing process now? I mean that you should start thinking about what it is you’re going to write about when you do write the essay. This part of the process is far and away the most important: once you find the right topic, it’s like lightning in a bottle; the words will probably flow from your fingers when you open up that Google Doc. That said: Tip 1.5: If you can’t think of anything, try writing, well, anything

Tip 3: Your essays are not your résumé Admissions offices know what you’ve accomplished. They know about your extracurricular activities, about your grades, your test scores, etc., etc. Your job in your essays is not to rehash that. Now, if there’s a particular extracurricular activity that has impacted you or granted you insight, and you want to talk about that impact or insight (and there may well be; I wrote one of my essays about being a part of The Spectator), don’t hesitate to write about that activity. But your goal should never be to show off that you did the thing. They know that. The point of the essays is to bring you to life as something more than a résumé; you only do yourself a disservice if you fail to treat them as such. Tip 4: Seriously, your essays are for you to write thoughtfully about what you find interesting, not for showing off There are ways to use essays

about having a small penis in an attempt to get at thoughts on masculinity or something. Tip 5: “Don’t write that. Please. Don’t expose yourselves.” Sometimes, I think, people feel like they have to write about the deepest, darkest parts of their lives for what is a Very Serious Process. And look: the deepest, darkest parts of our lives can be formative. At the same time, though, you’re writing to a bunch of strangers for the purpose of going to school, not to your therapist. People feeling an obligation to go dark and deep is how you get other anecdotes Bruni mentions: I ran these anecdotes [see tip four] by Marilee Jones, who was the dean of admissions at MIT from 1997 to 2007. They didn’t shock her. “Kids would talk about the 911 calls because their father was beating their mother up,” she told me. “Or anorexia. Or terrible, wrenching things about siblings with problems.” She recalled

Tip 7: The ultimate litmus test for essays Alright, that may be an overstatement, but this is the question I used to judge whether an essay was good. I think it’s pretty good: When this process is over, will I be happy to have written this essay, even if I do not receive an offer of admission from this school? Again, the goal of your essays is to convey who you are to admissions offices. To that end, they should be good pieces of writing, in their own right. Tip 8: Apply to a healthy number of early schools, for your own ease There is always a lot of college anxiety when early admissions results come out in December. I think the cause of this is sometimes misunderstood. It’s not that some people are getting accepted to their dream schools while others are getting deferred or rejected; it’s that some people have been accepted to their dream schools* while many others haven’t been accepted anywhere. Now, those people may know full well that they’ll get in somewhere, even if it’s not their top choice, and that they’ll enjoy it when they get there, but still: however irrational, the situation of not having received an offer of admission yet is anxiety-inducing. I recommend applying early to a few schools your college counselor has marked as “Likely” for you, just so that you’ll have an offer of admission to a school during the early round. Like I said, it’s irrational, but it helps relieve the December stress. *If at all possible, avoid having dream schools. Like all legends they are destructive if held as literal.

The Spectator The Stuyvesant High School Newspaper

Volume 112 No. 8

December 22, 2021

stuyspec.com

OPINIONS

ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT

Metal Detectors: Overkill or Appropriate?

Style Over Substance: A Review of “House of Gucci”

Opinions writers Erica Li and Gulam Monawarah debate the merits of metal detectors in schools. Do they bring an air of safety or a cloud of discomfort? SEE PAGE

“The Pulse of the Student Body”

Father, Son, and House of Gucci. Arts and Entertainment writer Lucien Clough reviews the recent Lady Gaga-starring crime thriller. SEE PAGE

Omicron COVID-19 Variant Spreads in the U.S. The new B.1.1.529 Omicron variant of COVID-19 has been a growing concern among members of the Stuyvesant community in recent weeks. First detected in South Africa, the variant now makes up approximately 13 percent of all COVID cases in New York. Following Omicron’s entry into New York City, the city’s COVID positivity rate doubled in three days. According to the Department of Education (DOE)’s daily COVID case tracker, a total of 799 public school district classroom closures are in effect—with students from affected schools having transitioned to at-home online learning—due to confirmed COVID-19 cases. The increased antibody resistance and risk of infection associated with the Omicron variant, as well as the lack of concrete information on its implications, has generated discourse within the Stuyvesant community on how the variant will affect the school. To counter the risk of the variant, the Stuyvesant administration is adhering to current safety guidelines, as well as sending out consistent e-mails to keep the school community informed. “We are continuing to follow the health and safety protocols from

NEWSBEAT The Stuyvesant Chess Team competed at the 2021 National K-12 Grades Championship in Orlando, Florida, placing first nationally in the 11th and 12th Grade Division and second in the 9th Grade Division. Senior Ryan Chen placed second in the nation in individual standings in the 12th Grade Division.

The Stuyvesant administration conducted an online survey called the Authentic Connections Survey to assess student well-being and daily life.

The Boys Indoor Track Team advanced to the finals for three of seven events at “Sprint Night” held by the PSAL.

Four competitors from the Stuyvesant Speech & Debate Team won sweepstakes at a tournament at The Ursuline School.

the DOE, [...] NY Test and Trace, and the [NYC Department] of Health,” Director of Family En-

ers are sent out for booster shots, vaccination availability as well as consent for testing for unvacci-

gagement Dina Ingram said in an e-mail interview. “The health and safety of our school community [remains] a top priority. Remind-

nated students.” Members of the Stuyvesant community have noticed the effect of the recent jump in

Ying Chen/ The Spectator

By ADITYA ANAND, KAI CAOTHIEN, JADY CHEN, and SAKURA YAMANAKA

The Long and Winding Rhodes By JAMES LEE The Rhodes Scholarship is a prestigious global award that allows one to study and obtain a degree at the University of Oxford at no expense. Recipients of the award not only attend Oxford at no cost but also receive a two to three-year stipend, 17,310 pounds (23,000 dollars), for the 2021 to 2022 school year. In the United States, 32 winners were selected out of a group of approximately 826 applicants selected by their respective college or university. Stuyvesant alumnus Liam Elkind (’17) is among the 32 selected. In March 2020, Elkind cofounded Invisible Hands, which provides food, medicine, and other essentials to the immunocompromised and those who have trouble accessing resources. While the organization has grown to have more than 10,000 volunteers, it was originally intended to be a local project. “The initial idea wasn’t really to build a nonprofit or recruit thousands of people, it was really just intended as a small grassroots group. The plan was to recruit some friends and their friends to bring food to

people over my spring break of junior year of college and find a way to be of value and of use to our community,” Elkind said. The success of Invisible Hands during the pandemic has drastically changed Elkind’s life. “[My life] has completely been amended both in terms of what I’m doing with my life and the work that I am doing to try and get people their essentials on a daily basis,” Elkind said. “It has informed my understanding of the fact that there will always be tremendous need in our society and that there will always be people who are ready, willing, and excited to fill that need.” Elkind’s work as a part of Invisible Hands led him to find importance in understanding the government and create a penchant for public service. “If you called New York City through one hotline during the early days of the pandemic––March, April, and part of May––and said ‘I need food,’ they would say ‘we can’t help you, hang up and call Invisible Hands.’ To me, what we continued on page 6

COVID cases due to the Omicron variant. Many students have expressed concerns regarding the spread of the new variant at Stuyvesant. “There have been more notifications sent about confirmed COVID cases in the school,” freshman Eva Lam said in an e-mail interview. “If enough cases are confirmed, I’m afraid [that] school [will go] remote again. [...] Most students need to be in the building and interacting with others in order to learn, so the new variant will be a detriment for the majority of [students].” Some members of staff share similar concerns about the variant. “At this point, Omicron does not seem to cause the same level of physiological carnage as the Delta, especially when fully vaccinated. But 40 percent of the US is not vaccinated [and] of those that are vaccinated, the efficacy of the vaccine seems to be waning. Coupled with the potential for the possibility of new variants, [...] I am worried,” AP Environmental Science teacher Jerry Citron said in an e-mail interview. Nevertheless, Citron also realizes the challenges of enforcing COVID-related rules. “Given the size of the school and its frenetic pace at Stuy, students from my observations are incredibly mask compliant. However, given class sizes, group work, and moving

through our crowded building, social distancing is nearly impossible to mandate,” he said. Other members of the student body have echoed this concern about social distancing. “I do notice that during dismissal, halls become congested but [...] you can’t do too much about it because there are a lot of students,” freshman Daler Khudaykulov said in an e-mail interview. And the notion that this risk is an inevitability is widespread. “I will likely not take extra precautions [against Omicron]— I mean, there’s only so much I can do while in a crowded subway car or crowding through the hallways to get to my next class to protect myself,” Lam said. Yet, Lam also emphasizes the importance of continuing to practice existing precautions. “The mask mandates should be enforced. I [am concerned by] quite a few students walking around without masks, and a couple of my teachers only wear their masks at select times,” she said. As the Omicron variant continues to become a greater concern, the administration echoes the urgency of following COVID guidelines. “We also continue to continued on page 8

“European Literature” Requirement to Become “Foundations of Literature” By JASMINE YUEN, MAHIR HOSSAIN, KEVIN CHAN, and NADA HAMEED Think of texts such as “The Odyssey,” “Oedipus Rex,” and “Macbeth,” and chances are, you or someone you know has read at least one of them in European Literature, the required English course for sophomores. Eurocentric works like these have been staples of the English curriculum for decades and are considered to be foundational texts—literature considered essential in order to better understand large, substantial texts. But in an effort to expand the idea of foundational texts, the English Department has renamed “European Literature” to “Foundations of Literature.” This name change was brought about to increase the inclusivity of the course. Though the objectives of the curriculum and the curriculum itself will stay the same, the name shift demonstrates a switch from a narrow

Eurocentric sphere of literature to a wider range of literary origins. “The goal of the class was never to privilege Eurocentrism above other canons of literature. That said, the idea of foundational texts has always been a part of the class, from ancient Greek works like ‘The Odyssey’ or ‘Oedipus Rex’ to passages from the Judeo-Christian Bible to Shakespeare and Jane Austen,” Assistant Principal of English Eric Grossman said. “The idea of ‘foundational’ doesn’t have anything to do with Europe; we’re just expanding to keep the foundations idea but include more.” Teachers of the course voiced their support for the new name and cited the freedom the change can lead to. “I feel good about it. Nothing is entirely necessary, but I think it was time and it makes sense. I don’t think anybody wants to throw out the continued on page 6

The Spectator • December 22, 2021

Page 6

News The Long and Winding Rhodes Elkind is also looking forward to being able to indulge his longstanding interest in Shakespeare. “On a personal level, I have always been a Shakespeare fan ever since I was a little kid. And so I’m going to be just a couple of hours away from Stratford where Shakespeare grew up, so I’m really excited for that. Child Liam [...] would be jumping for joy if

continued from page 5

Courtesy of Wikimedia Commons and NASA

WORLDBEAT Congress approved a $2.5 trillion debt ceiling increase and a $768 billion defense bill, both awaiting President Biden’s approval. New York City passed a bill that allows noncitizens legally in the country to vote in local elections, making it the largest U.S city to do so. A truck crash in Mexico killed at least 49 people and injured dozens, with most of the victims being migrants. Inflation hit its highest rate last month as consumer prices rose to nearly seven percent, fueled by supply chain challenges and housing costs. New York State introduced a new mask mandate, requiring masks in all indoor public places that don’t require proof of vaccination.

Courtesy of Liam Elkind

were seeing was a stunning reminder of the power of community organizing and also a scathing [reminder] of government inefficiency,” Elkind said. To Elkind, Invisible Hands played a significant role in his becoming a Rhodes Scholar-elect. “Invisible Hands stood out to the committee as an example of service, organization, and devotion to duty worthy of a scholarship,” Elkind said. “I was able to connect Invisible Hands to my own personal narrative and goals, and tell a compelling and convincing story about myself and my genuine ambitions for change.” Upon receiving the news that he won the Rhodes Scholarship, Elkind not only felt grateful for influential figures in his life but also felt a sense of desire and obligation to repay their favors by leaving an impact as a public servant at Oxford. “Honestly, my main reaction was gratitude—for all the friends, family, teachers, mentors, and colleagues who have raised me up, believed in me, and showed me the value of service,” Elkind said. “I also felt a sense of responsibility. This is a real honor. But all the people who supported me along the way did it because they believe that I’m going to work to make other people’s lives better.” For Elkind, becoming a Rhodes Scholar has academic, social, and personal importance. “Most directly, [becoming a Rhodes Scholar] gives me the chance to spend two years really doing a deep dive into how to make our democracy stronger, and that is the unparalleled experience and the ability to just devote myself to studying that, ‘’ Elkind said. “Even beyond that, the opportunity to be outside of the country will broaden my perspectives on culture and politics in a way that I wouldn’t be able to get otherwise because it gives me the chance to see how other people live.”

with me and I will be grateful to Stuyvesant until the day I die. I identify so strongly with that school and I really miss it because it really does feel like it was four of the best years of my life.” There are multiple teachers who developed strong relationships with Elkind during his time at Stuyvesant, including English teacher Katherine Fletcher,

A surge of powerful storms and tornadoes in Kentucky resulted in at least 74 casualties and over 100 people missing. he knew I had that opportunity.” The Rhodes scholar is also excited to have the opportunity to go to college again. “To meet new people and get new experiences and meet people from all around the world and hang out with and have a good time and learn from them and learn with them is a really exciting opportunity that honestly in a lot of ways reminds me of my time at Stuyvesant: the ability to learn from and with brilliant, creative, interesting, insightful people on a daily basis.” Elkind credits Stuyvesant as an integral factor in his academic and personal development. “I look back on my Stuyvesant experience as incredibly formative to the thinker that I am, and to the person that I am,” Elkind said. “I carry those memories

who taught Elkind in her Great Books class. Fletcher not only appreciated Elkind’s contributions to her class but still maintains a connection with him to this day. “Liam and I have kept in touch in the years since he graduated, and I have especially loved following his work with Invisible Hands,” Fletcher said in an e-mail interview. “He’s someone who is sincerely dedicated to making meaningful contributions to his communities, whether that means an individual classroom [...] or to the entire city of New York.” Outside of the classroom, Elkind appreciated Stuyvesant’s extracurriculars as well. “I got a ton out of Speech and Debate. I learned how to become more poised, more articulate, more eloquent, more of a relational and

relatable speaker,” Elkind said. Elkind was also a Big Sib during his time at Stuyvesant. “I learned so much from the other Big Sibs and from my little sibs and I still maintain relationships with them to this day, and that feels really rewarding,” he said. For those looking to get involved in community service, he advises one to view the service as an opportunity and honor rather than an obligation. “Remember that service is one of the most uplifting and inspiring and reinvigorating things that a person could do with their time. Try as best you can not to view your service requirement for ARISTA as something to get through, but [something] to do for others, a way that is inherently valuable to

use your time to make the world a better place,” Elkind said. Elkind hopes that Stuyvesant students will feel motivated to give back to their community as well. “Because you’re at Stuyvesant, you’ve been gifted this amazing opportunity for a world-class public education. You owe something back to your society that’s investing in you. So pay that debt forward with all the vigor that you can.” Elkind said. “There’s no reason that a high school student can’t start a nonprofit or latch on to something else and find some other way to be of use. If you see a problem in your community that’s not being addressed by someone else, there is no reason it shouldn’t be you to address it.”

“European Literature” Requirement to Become “Foundations of Literature” for a few years. Its implementation does not represent a sudden

teachers of the course are recommended to gradually deviate

classics of Western literature, but I think it is worth thinking about how we can think more representatively,” English teacher Judd Staley said. “There [are] so many classics of literature not just in Asia, but Africa and Latin America that we can be bringing in [to make a] much richer curriculum.” Foundations of Literature will choose texts based on their timelessness and influence rather than their place of origin. As a teacher of European Literature and AP Great Books, a senior course, Grossman emphasizes the significance of foundational texts as prerequisites for future English courses. “The idea is that foundational works are foundational for a reason,” he said. “They set students and readers up for having richer, more meaningful experiences as they go on as readers.” Though the name change is only being implemented now, the idea has been considered

change in the course, and the course is still known as European Literature on Talos. Instead,

from the Eurocentric aspect of the name. “The change did not require that every teacher [scrap]

Julia Lee / The Spectator

continued from page 5

everything that they taught before and start wholly new with 100 percent new texts,” Grossman said. “The new inclusions are going to be gradual because reading a bunch of works and deciding what makes sense to include [and] studying them to the degree that one would feel confident teaching them [...] That all takes a lot of time, but teachers have started experimenting.” Staley added, “Adding books to the curriculum takes time and it takes money so obviously it hasn’t happened yet, but this is sort of the first step in a process of diversifying what we mean by ‘Foundations of Literature’ and bringing in a wider range.” However, Staley has begun to prepare his curriculum to adhere to the name change. “I’m planning to have my students grapple with that question and do a project where they have to argue for other authors and other texts that would make sense to add to the list,” Staley said. Some students have reacted to the change with enthusiasm, citing the increased number of

perspectives that the class can include. “You get to include authors who aren’t just from Europe, like [...] authors from other countries,” sophomore Jade Doan said. Other students feel that they need to see more tangible progress toward diverse perspectives before they can appreciate the name change. Sophomore Ankki Dong zeroes in on the lack of substantial changes in the current English course she is taking. “I read two books and they’re both European—unless you’re changing what you’re supposed to read, I think it doesn’t change much,” she said. “I feel like [the name change] is necessary if they are moving away from European Literature.” Overall, the faculty’s decision in the course’s name change is a response to a larger trend in the world. “It’s a response to what’s going on in the world outside of the walls of Stuyvesant,” Grossman said. “There’s a greater sense of demand for diversity, and it matters to us to be responsive.”

The Spectator • December 22, 2021

Page 7

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The Spectator • December 22, 2021

Page 8

News ARISTA Partners with Olympian Nzingha Prescod’s “Fencing in the Park” Program By RAVEN (RUIWEN) TANG, JASMINE YUEN, and OLIVIA HAVEN

to show how comparable athletics and academic achievement are,” senior and ARISTA Vice President of Events and Service Ashley Choi said. ARISTA’s tutoring initiative, in collaboration with Fencing in the Park, which currently pairs around 15 tutors with 19 students, is working toward this goal of academic enhancement through a major focus on SHSAT preparedness. “We start with going over any homework [or] topics they’re having trouble with at school before doing either state exam or SHSAT prep,” junior and ARISTA tutor Iris Chan said. “The opportunity

tional and academic side too.” Members of the ARISTA Executive Council (EC) agree with Fencing in the Park’s emphasis on growing both sportsmanship and scholarship. “Offering this sort of high-performance athletic practice or ability while also encouraging a sort of academic rigor on the side is super important and I think goes

to help [students] with homework or prepare for the SHSAT [has been] incredibly rewarding.” Prescod expresses hopes that the collaboration with ARISTA will allow for greater accessibility in her community. “A lot of the students [at Fencing in the Park] don’t even know that there’s an option [for tutoring], and they don’t

Courtesy of Nzingha Prescod

ARISTA recently launched a tutoring initiative in partnership with the Prescod Institute for Sport, Teamwork, and Education (PISTE), a nonprofit fencing academy founded by two-time Olympian fencer and Stuyvesant alumna Nzingha Prescod (’10). ARISTA will assist students in PISTE’s “Fencing in the Park” program–– which provides both academic and fencing instruction at no cost to participating families––in SHSAT test prep, homework help, and academic enrichment. Fencing in the Park originated as a summer project for Prescod, who noticed the lack of access to sports in her neighborhood, East Flatbush, and understood the positive impact fencing could have. “When I started Fencing in the Park, [...] it was a situational opportunity. With COVID, I just retired from fencing, I had access to equipment, and I had this dream I’ve always had of bringing fencing to my neighborhood,” Prescod said. “Not only does [fencing] have a lot of character building qualities, [...] but there [are also] a lot of problem-solving benefits to it: strategic thinking [and] being intentional and purposeful, [...] so there [are] so many layers of why fencing makes sense to use as a vehicle for youth development.” What was initially a small-scale summer program has grown into an academy that offers academic

enrichment, fencing, and other extracurricular opportunities such as chess and music classes. Specifically, the academic component of the curriculum is devised to complement the character-building qualities of fencing. “I didn’t want it to be singularly fencing, because the mission is largely beyond fencing. It’s to provide a youth development experience that can untap and unlock all of their potential,” Prescod said. “I think [it] maximizes your opportunities when you have both [academic and enrichment] strengths, so I wanted to be able to provide them with an opportunity to enhance their educa-

know about the test. They haven’t been oriented to prepare for the [SHSAT],” Prescod said. “One of my short-term goals for the program is to be kind of a pipeline for specialized high schools. [...] If I have this access to Stuyvesant, the premier students in the city who tackled this test, have been successful at the test, and are really smart and want to give back, [...] it just makes so much sense to collaborate in this capacity.” Prescod also emphasizes that the smaller age gap ARISTA tutors have with the program’s students, compared to Fencing in the Park’s academic and extracurricular instructors, can cultivate greater understanding between tutors and students. “[Stuyvesant students] are high school students, so you’re not so far removed from the curriculum of middle school and late elementary school,” she said. ARISTA leadership noted hurdles in organizing program formatting before tutoring sessions began. Although the original plan was to meet every Monday and Wednesday in the Flatbush area, the in-person quota was modified in favor of a virtual format of the program, with it now being hosted online instead. After much deliberation, partnership tutoring began on December 6 and will tentatively run virtually every Monday and Wednesday. ARISTA and Fencing in the Park organizers anticipate some challenges and technical difficulties as a result of the virtual format. “It’s going to be much easier both in terms of commute and

[the] length of the sessions. There [are] technical difficulties and glitches that we’re worried about, [but] on Fencing in the Park’s side, they do have coordinators [...] that are going to help the kids with any technical issues that come up,” senior and ARISTA President Leah D’Silva said. The ARISTA EC believes that this shift to a virtual program will allow students who would otherwise have transportation or scheduling conflicts to attend meetings. “Moving to a Zoom format makes the tutoring much more accessible [...] for the students [and] tutees,” Choi said. Fencing in the Park aims to eventually hold the partnership face-to-face. “It’ll definitely take some time to streamline the tutoring component, and I hope eventually it’ll be in-person,” Prescod said. “It’s a difficult commute for a lot of the students because it’s in deep Brooklyn.” Other factors, especially issues with revenue and staffing, also played a role in the decision to teach remotely. As the program continues to be streamlined, ARISTA leadership expressed similar hopes of aiding Fencing in the Park students beyond academics and working toward long-term impact. “We obviously want [tutors] to have a positive impact [...] the academic sense, [...] but also in personality and helping them grow as a person,” D’Silva said. “Building study skills and [confidence] is something that we really want to help students at Fencing in the Park with [...] to make sure they are really set up for a life of success after this point.”

Senior Oscar Fishman Models for Louis Vuitton Fashion Show By REBECCA BAO and ZIYING JIAN

consisted of a futuristic raincoat extended in a style similar to a Victorian-era dress and was accessorized with sunglasses. “I put on my outfit at first and wasn’t exactly sure how to feel. [It was] certain-

Courtesy of Oscar Fishman

Senior Oscar Fishman had the opportunity to model for Louis Vuitton’s (LV) “Virgil Was Here” fashion show in Miami, Florida, on November 30, which highlighted Virgil Abloh’s Spring-Summer 2022 Collection. Many celebrities, including A$AP Rocky, Rihanna, Kanye West, and Quavo, attended the show as a tribute to Virgil Abloh, the men’s fashion designer who passed away two days prior. Fishman started modeling when he was scouted by the Marilyn Model Agency in the summer of 2021 through an encounter at a skatepark. “Some [man] half a block away from the skatepark laid on his horn in the car [to get my attention]. I told my dad and [...] he was 100 percent sure it was sex trafficking for two whole days since the [man] was super creepy,” Fishman said. “[But], I made my dad call the agency and they really had me on the book.” Despite being recruited by the agency, Fishman had never professionally modeled for major fashion

shows or industries, though this would soon come to change. “[At the beginning], they signed me and I did a couple of gigs but really nothing,” Fishman said. “One was just building my portfolio with the photographer and another was some editorial that went nowhere.” Fishman was then offered his first paid role at the “Virgil Was Here” LV show when the photos his agency submitted were accepted. “[The LV partner] asked me to come in, and when I went in, there was no feedback at all. The next day at school, my mom texted me that they wanted me,” Fishman said. “I had never done this stuff before and then I was just flown out to Miami. It was insane.” In Miami, Fishman had a great experience in both preparing for the event and interacting with other models. “We got spoiled the whole time. [There] was a chauffeur service that would take us wherever we wanted in a van, and it had a Louis V decal on it,” Fishman said. “The day before, I did six hours of preparation and we were trying stuff on.” At the show, Fishman was taken aback by his outfit, which

ly high fashion, [but] the more I look[ed] at it, [the more] I grew to

like it,” Fishman said. During the show, Fishman also had the opportunity to meet some of his idols, including professional skaters Kareem Campbell and Stevie Williams. “They were in all the Tony Hawk video games and I was hanging out with them the whole time. I have their numbers in my phone and that part was the best thing in the entire trip––how I could just go up to Stevie and say, ‘Yo bro, what’s up,’” Fishman said. While Fishman also shared a conversation with rapper Quavo, he did not get a chance to meet rapper Kanye West at the show. “[West] and Kim [Kardashian] were there [with] their daughter. I didn’t even see them and I’m the biggest Kanye West fan—I’m so mad about it,” he said. Fishman noted that his respect for Abloh grew following the event because the designer’s shows included models who were new to the fashion industry. “It was 80 percent of the [models’] first time, which is a purposeful thing Virgil did,” Fishman said. “I respected it a lot because his goal in the industry was always to bring new people in and make it less elitist.”

To many, this show also served to celebrate Abloh’s legacy as a designer. “In particular, I was awed by the history that the show created. This was [Virgil Abloh’s] last new show ever. They even had balloons dedicated to him and the event headlined fashion and pop culture magazines,” senior Elio Torres said in an e-mail interview. Torres believes that Fishman walking the LV show opens the door to more people who have an interest in the realm of fashion: “Directly, I think it inspires students to look out for modeling opportunities and engage more with an industry that is otherwise quite selective,” he said. Despite the significance of this experience, though, Fishman and his parents still consider modeling as a part-time pursuit rather than a long-term commitment. “Modeling isn’t sustainable. This was never a passion of mine [...] it just happened to me. So this is an opportunity I got to pass on,” Fishman said. “My dad’s [also] a little worried about the lifestyle that modeling brings. They definitely want to keep me safe [because] I’m still young.”

Omicron COVID-19 Variant Spreads in the U.S. continued from page 5

stress the importance of staying home if you are sick. Tests and work can be made up. Do not come to school [...] if you are not feeling well, and perform the DOE health screening every day with accuracy to keep our community safe,” Ingram said.

A Note from the Editorial Board Regarding the Omicron Variant There are two ways for a pandemic to end. First, a vaccinated population can reach herd immunity. The spread is contained and the novel disease dwindles

and disappears. This method has never worked before, but for some time, it appeared that modern science, which developed and tested a vaccine in an unprecedented year, would vanquish the pathogen. The Delta variant, which has evaded vaccine-induced immunity, shook our faith in this approach, and Omicron shattered it. While the data still isn’t precise, all signs point to a variant far more contagious, steamrolling through masks

and vaccines. Anecdotally, most people seem to have some sort of exposure: a friend or even a family member. Naturally, the question has come up about renewed restrictions, chief among them being about school closures. This brings us to the second way for a pandemic to end: let it run its course. This is the way the 1918 Spanish flu, the 1968 influenza, and the 2009 H1N1 pandemics ended. The Omicron variant appears less dangerous than

Delta. We’ve developed vaccines that reduce the risk of hospitalization and death and treatments such as monoclonal antibodies, the new Pfizer pill, and remdesivir. It’s not 2020 anymore. Defeating COVID means accepting a new normal, one in which your annual COVID vaccine dose is administered alongside your flu shot and COVID cases are no longer tracked in the paper. Let’s get vaccinated, but let’s not shut down schools.

The Spectator • December 22, 2021

Page 9

News Discussing “Freedom Swimmer”: A Story about Immigration and Freedom collaboration and [I also] wanted to know about [Leung’s] parents’ story and how it was like my father’s,” Chim said. Leung also reflected on the relevance that “Freedom Swimmer” has to her family’s story and her own life. “This particular book has personal meaning

I had such contrasting stories,” Leung said. Chin noticed parallels between the discussion of the book and the classes she took at Stuyvesant. “The key takeaways of the novel were themes and questions for the reader: what does freedom mean to us? To

Courtesy of Heather Chin

“Freedom Swimmer,” a historical fiction young adult novel by Stuyvesant alum Wai Chim (’00), tells the story of the thousands of Chinese refugees who swam for hours from Mainland China to Hong Kong during the 1950s to 1980s in search of sanctuary. The Stuyvesant Alumni Association hosted a Book Talk on November 17 that featured Chim and alum Telly Leung (’98), who narrated the audiobook for the novel, with award-winning journalist Heather Chin (’02) as the moderator, discussing the release of this book. Chim’s novel is based on the experience of her father, who was a “freedom swimmer.” “The book is inspired by my father’s story; he swam from China to Hong Kong in the 1970s as a ‘freedom swimmer,’ which also is the title of the book,” Chim said in an e-mail interview. “As the writer, I researched and put into words the details of the story that needed to be specific and universal to readers, so they can follow and experience the story.” When Chim learned her novel’s audiobook was being narrated by a fellow Stuyvesant alum, Leung, whose parents were also freedom swimmers, she took interest in organizing a Zoom panel to share each other’s stories with the Stuyvesant community. “I thought that was really great to have a coincidental Stuyvesant

am a journalist and a Stuy alum, but also because she knew I was familiar with the book and her work in general. As a fan, friend, and bibliophile, I was naturally delighted.” Leung was also excited to meet Chim not only for being the voice of the audiobook

Courtesy of Wai Chim

By ANDY LAU, MAGGIE SANSONE, MOZEN KALEFA, NADA HAMEED, and FIONA SHI

Courtesy of Telly Leung

to me and Wai because both of our parents were freedom swimmers. [...] Had both our parents not made the long journey, where would we be today? Would we both be artists? Would we have gone to Stuy?” Leung said in an e-mail interview. Chim invited Chin to moderate the panel, as the two knew each other during their time at Stuyvesant and had kept in touch after graduating. “Wai Chim and I have been friends since our days at Stuyvesant when we met via Key Club, where she was club secretary and editor when I joined as a freshman,” Chin said in an e-mail interview. “Wai reached out to me to be moderator not just because she knows I

but also for being able to bond over their shared Stuyvesant experience. “Oftentimes, an author will select the voice actor for an audiobook and never ever meet the actor. I was thrilled that I got to meet the author, and that the author happen to be a fellow Stuyvesant alum,” Leung said. During the discussion, Leung was particularly interested in the differences between her and Chim’s stories. “I was fascinated (and surprised) that both Wai and I had freedom swimmers in our family, but our families told us in very different ways. [...] As an actor, I am infinitely fascinated by human nature and how different people deal with challenges & trauma differently, and Wai and

echo what I learned in senior Existentialism class way back then, is it ‘freedom from’ or ‘freedom to’ that resonates for our own sense of self ?” Chin said. The event also brought into question the true meaning of “freedom” as demonstrated in the present day. “I am hoping the story of these two Chinese boys willing to risk their lives to swim for freedom will make us appreciate our own freedom in a different light and give us perspective about what freedom means in the West,” Leung said. Chim wishes for her readers to gain historical knowledge as well as inspiration of a Stuyvesant alum being an author. “I hope people learned a little bit about

history, the migrant experience, and also how it’s like to have a creative career post-Stuyvesant,” she said. Along the same lines, Chin sees a relevance between the events in the novel and events happening now. “Personally, I hope that modern readers recognize that this may be part of history, but it isn’t ancient history and continues to repeat in ways large and small,” Chin said. The event was special to the three alumni involved, as it allowed them to reflect on how their high school experiences influenced who they are today. “It was really a great dream come true to come back to my alma mater as an adult and reminisce about my time out there and discuss how it inspired and shaped my adult career,” Chim said. Chin expressed her postevent thoughts and compliments of her fellow Stuyvesant alumni in making this event a success. “I was thrilled with the outcome of the panel event. Wai and Telly did an amazing job of connecting with the audience and telling their own personal and family stories and inspirations. It was a lot of fun,” Chin said. Chim hopes that alums will continue to collaborate in the future and organize similar events. “There are so many amazing creations being launched into the world by Stuy alums and I hope that students and fellow alumni alike continue to support one another. We can never stop learning together,” she said.

Page 10

The Spectator • December 22, 2021

Features Full of Life, Wisdom, and a Love of Surprise By FRANCES SCHWARZ

ingredients inside of a large black binder. “So the ladies, they have to keep up with that.” If the lunch ladies serve too much or too little food for each student, or if the cooks don’t make the right amount, then food either runs out by eighth period or ends up in the trash. Additional challenges arise in foods that can’t be batch cooked or cooked on the spot, and that students don’t have to swipe into the cafeteria anymore, making it harder to keep track of how much food they need to make. Despite these challenges, she still feels grateful to her colleagues. “We have a good team here,” she said. “Everybody helps each other, we’re not like, ‘Now this is mine, this is yours,’” she said. “I like the school, everybody. I mean, I get along with everybody out there.” Her coworkers seem to appreciate her, too. For Christmas one year, all of the food service assistants pooled money together to buy Eddahbi a Nook. An-

other time, she found a piece of paper from her former manager with a big smiley face that thanked her for being a good cook and included a chocolate bar.

Hepzibah Srithas / The Spectator

The next time you’re getting your lunch from the Stuyvesant cafeteria, look into the big window opposite the doorway and to your right, and there’s a good chance you’ll see a woman sitting in an office behind the glass. That’s Khudija Eddahbi, assistant manager of the school kitchen. She works with the food service assistants, the assistant cook, and her manager to keep the kitchen running and make sure every student gets their food. Born and raised in Casablanca, Morocco, Eddahbi moved to Florida, stayed in Germany for a couple of months to receive her training, lived in Florida again for a year, and finally settled in New York, where she’s lived for 31 years. “I like it [in New York]. Most of my life is here,” she said. She still holds her home in Morocco close, however. “Like a person when they get married— they don’t forget their mom, but

they still love their wife,” she said with a laugh. Eddahbi started cooking when she was a child to help her mom, who worked full time to run her beauty salon. “That’s part of the custom [in Morocco]. They like to teach the kids when they’re young, so that way they learn how to cook,” she said. Since then, she went to cooking school, worked at Disney, and catered for many years. She eventually became a school cook to spend more time with her kids. Every day, Eddahbi manages food deliveries and portion sizes, works with the food service assistants and the assistant cook, assists her manager, and ultimately makes sure everyone gets enough food. Her main challenge is keeping track of how much food they have to make and serve. “Each thing—like the vegetable, one cup, this is three ounces, this is six ounces–—each thing is different,” said Eddahbi, pointing to tables of numbers and

She finds her job most rewarding when the students enjoy the

food. “Some kids, they come back and say, ‘Oh, that was good. That was fine,’ [and] so the ladies, they’ll be happy, they’ll come and say, ‘Oh, this kid, they came, and they liked the food,’ and stuff like that,” Eddahbi said. “When we see smiles on the kids, that’s the main thing.” Outside of her job, she likes to swim, bike, cook, read, and write poetry. She mainly reads religious books in Arabic. “I’m really trying to do my best,” she said, with a laugh, when asked about her religious status. When asked what she is most passionate about, Eddahbi replied without hesitation: “Meeting people. Try to get together. I like to surprise people—birthdays or parties, stuff like that.” She loves her mom (“That’s at the top of everything”) and her two children: a daughter, currently working as a substitute teacher while in graduate school, and a son in his first year of college.

Lore of the Sixth Floor By SOOBIN CHOI Home to the English department and located six stories above ground level, the sixth floor is full of mysteries. From rooms so hidden that even seniors get lost to an architectural layout that might as well have been designed in a day, there always seems to be something to unearth in its depths. Room 615 is broken up into sections A, B, C, and E. 615E is located inside a hallway next to Assistant Principal of English Eric Grossman’s office with multiple “615E” arrow printouts lining the hallways to get to the concealed room, adding to its curious nature. English teacher Dr. Emily Moore teaches in 615E, and despite finding the nature of her classroom perplexing, she loves it. “I enjoy the weirdness of my classroom. It has a strange little hallway; it’s really close to the Writing Center. Even though all of those factors combine to make all my [freshmen] late and confused in the early days, I have found it to be kind of a wonderful classroom,” Dr. Moore commented. Of the remainder of the 615s, 615C is perhaps the most hidden. It’s located inside 615B, which is near the West Staircase and is the entry point to 615A and 615C. Room 615A is where Grossman teaches Great Books, a senior Advanced Placement (AP) English course. 615C is the English teachers’ workroom, where teachers assemble to dash the hopes and dreams of their students, or more specifically, those with dreams of high English grades. But what to make of all the vari-

ous 615s? Where did they all come from? Grossman detangled the subsets of the 615 rooms. “The library [was designated 615] when the building was built [...] and all of the sub rooms—615A, B, and C—were initially part of the library,” he explained. Senior and Writing Center Editor-in-Chief Michelle Zhang offered

Rachel Chuong / The Spectator

an alternative perspective. “When in doubt, assume that aliens tampered with the blueprint, which was then constructed without further secondguessing,” she said in an e-mail interview. As time went on, and more funding was acquired, 615A, B, and C were reworked. Though most English classes are on the sixth floor, some are found on other floors. “There are a few English classrooms on the eighth, ninth, and 10th floors, so there are ways that we trickle up into the building,” Dr. Moore said. Perhaps the sixth floor is not mighty enough to house all 23 English teachers. Or perhaps that is merely a cover for the English department’s plan to take over Stuyvesant. However, out of all of the many rooms the English department occupies, the most enchanting is ar-

It’s early November when I first begin to see the signs of burnout in my friends and myself. Daylight saving time, when the clocks fast forward an hour, has just ended, and the already shortened daytime has become a mere sliver of the light we received during the summer. Late autumn and winter have blurred into a montage of sad faces all around me. One of my best friends falls asleep in U.S. History. She lands face-first into a worksheet about abolitionists, and I can sense that she’s barely processing her surroundings as she struggles to take in the comparisons and contrasts

their classes, neatly organized on bookshelves that move with the spin of a handle. Book monitors tend to the room, organizing books and preparing class sets on carts that teachers then distribute to their students. Junior Ryan Chen, one of the many book monitors, eagerly described Grossman’s office: “It’s really exciting to know that such a sanctuary exists. I was introduced to this place by [English teacher Annie] Thoms in my freshman year and it’s so much better than the half floor. Because [for] the half floor, there’s a bunch of people and here, it’s really quiet, calm, and peaceful.” Junior Ella Chan, another book monitor, spoke about the increasing popularity of 601. “It’s not really like an elusive place. [There have] been so many more kids coming in. If you’re coming here, you don’t

even have to be a book monitor. Just learn to respect the place because, at the end of the day, it’s still the English office. Teachers are coming in here to make copies or trying to have meetings with students, but if you really just want to come and hang out that’s totally fine,” she said. She also described the secretive nature of the English department as a whole. “The English department holds a lot of secrets in itself. All these little nooks and crannies for all these rooms definitely add on to the [floor’s] general persona.” While room 601 has recently been the talk of the English Department, Stuyvesant’s library has always been an iconic fixture of the sixth floor. Senior Nour Kastoun, one of the many library monitors, frequently made use of its giant housing of books and computers. “I’d always go there [during] first period freshman year to cram for my AP Bio[logy] tests, and since then it’s held a special place in my heart,” she explained in an e-mail interview. “It’s special for so many reasons: because of the huge selection of books, resources provided to students, and because of the librarians, who are so kind and helpful.” Besides the library, perhaps what leaves the sixth floor lingering in the minds of its visitors is its unnaturally welcoming nature. “The sixth floor is one of the sunniest floors. And it’s very inviting and welcoming, unlike the math floor,” senior Erica Huang said. Mere yards away from the English office lies the sophomore bar, located near the entrance of the sixth to eighth-floor escalators. A

prominent place for socialization, especially after a year of isolation, the sophomore bar is now where sophomores take any opportunity to make new friends. “[The sophomore bar is] definitely very useful since a lot of sophomores tend to cluster there,” sophomore Srinity Rijal said. “[It’s] definitely the best place for when you want to socialize.” Inadvertently livening up the sophomore bar seems to be the fencing team’s activity as of late. Junior Carina Lee, a member of the team, frequently participates in these rituals during school hours. “You’ll see us every single day after, during [10th] period sitting by the sophomore bar in that curved wall that goes to the dance studio. We’d make this huge pile of backpacks and people would just lie there.” The fencing team has made the dance room, a somewhat hidden room next to the sixth-floor gymnasium, a makeshift home during practices. “The school stores the wrestling mats in there and a lot of us climb up there and sleep; [...] we leave all our stuff and it’s really messy, but it’s a classic fencing team thing,” she said. This feeling seems to be mutual among the other groups on the secretive, magical, and wonky sixth floor. Chan summarized it like this: “Sometimes I’ll just see random kids laying on the floor. They practically look like they’re dead. Other times you have the fencing team fencing or stabbing people. Besides that, it’s a floor where everyone feels comfortable.”

Winter Blues

Voices By ELICIA CHAU

guably not a classroom, but Grossman’s office, found in room 601. It holds many intriguing features, such as previous editions of Stuyvesant yearbooks, papers describing various English teachers (“Mr. Kim has college student energy!”), the book room, and, at times, Grossman himself. The book room is filled with novels English teachers assign to

between David Walker‘s and Frederick Douglass’s fights against slavery. She’s slept in class before, which, at this point, most of us have, but she’s done so several times in one week. Her eyes lazily blink open when the period ends and she escapes out of the classroom to some other equally uninteresting room in the school. As the bell rings shrilly above us, I ask her how her sleep was, if she enjoyed her nap. She rolls her eyes. She says she’s tired. She describes it as “seasonal depression.” During fourth period, the senior sitting next to me describes her mood as gray. Her feelings are colored like the weather, and I see the mix of exhaustion from college apps and the dullness of New York

in her eyes. When we stand to draw diagrams about gastrointestinal disorders, she sits on the radiator and looks out the window. “Seasonal depression has really hit me hard,” she says. She manages a smile, but the girl sitting behind me says she relates and I see the smile falter as the two are quiet in their mutual understanding. The dark weather is perpetual. It’s difficult to feel normal when a barrier like that is always there. I observe my friends as I try to understand the seasonal swing of their emotions. And then I begin to understand. There’s a moment the day after my birthday when I collapse and can’t find the strength to do anything. Earlier in the day, I woke up at 6

a.m. with barely any light filtering through the blinds. When I return home at 6 p.m., it’s already dark outside. So I stumble to my bed, fall into the unmade sheets, and feel drained. I can’t pull myself together enough to really do anything but sleep away my sadness. There’s a strange emptiness in the cavity of my chest. My mother visits my room only when I begin to cry and hands me a mug of hot water and strokes my hair. “It’s the weather,” she says comfortingly. I know it’s true, but I can’t quite find the words to explain why. In the midst of my tired, hazy mind, I can’t piece together why this winter has been more difficult to adapt to than the ones before. I can’t figure out a solution.

There’s an inherent science behind winter blues that directly links mood with seasonal changes. The influence of sunlight on the human body is a study that has been covered time and again. In short, though the specific cause is unknown, the change of seasons does affect circadian rhythms, serotonin levels, and the body’s regulation of melatonin. Combined, these make up the factors of a seasonal bodily disruption that we dub “seasonal depression” or “winter blues.” But seasonal depression has hit harder than ever this year. I’ve seen many of my closest friends go continued on page 11

The Spectator • December 22, 2021

Page 11

Features Winter Blues continued from page 10

seen many of my closest friends go through burnouts that have been exacerbated by the weather and shortened daytime. I, myself, find it increasingly tiring to pull myself together as the world attempts to return to a supposedly normal sense

of life. In the moments where I am closest to falling apart, I blame winter—the cold, the frost, and the bitterness that make up the backdrop to the worst part of the year. Truthfully, the lack of sunlight only serves to worsen the stress that students endure. As the winter goes on, I find myself looking to my friends, other kids who relate, to

ease my feelings of loneliness and emptiness. There’s peace in numbers, security in relating. When you look up advice on treating winter blues and seasonal depression, basic advice is given: drink water, eat enough, rest as needed. I reiterate that advice to my friends, and they do the same, and in this way, I feel our winter blues may have a solu-

tion in solidarity. My mother once told me that winter is charming because it will always be followed by change. It is inevitable that there will eventually be light, but it is nonetheless hard to break away from the mindset of perpetual dark days and sadness. I understand the difficulty; I’m someone who often feels as if she’s fall-

ing apart, with the darkness as an aggravator. But as we all return to a normal sense of life, with the cold behind us, we are shifting closer toward brighter days and change. That is something more perpetual than winter blues: the inevitable passing of it.

From Marvel to Music, the Life of William Wrigley By ARSHIA MAZUMDER

etary prize. “I announced on the stage,” Wrigley said when asked what he would do with the money, recalling, “‘I’m gonna go to New York for the summer and I’m gonna see if I can work at Marvel Comics, and this will pay for my room for a summer, I hope.’” Wrigley did just that and went to Brooklyn, New York, showing up on Marvel’s doorstep and offering to work for free until his prize

cal career. “I decided to actually start recording [hip hop]. It was when I had this friend who was interested in making beats. And we started putting stuff out on this website called mp3.com,” Wrigley said. “I actually made good money from mp3.com for about a year.” During this time, Wrigley also started attending graduate school at Columbia University for Art History, where he and his friend decided

money ran out. Wrigley gained much insight into comics from his experience there. “Everything that I teach in that comic course is something that was taught to me by, specifically, John Romita, who is one of the masters of Marvel’s history. But beyond that, that made me fall in love with New York,” he said. Wrigley also became interested in hip-hop and tried to pursue a musi-

against pursuing an advanced loan from a record label. Instead, they would pay for the costs of their career themselves. Wrigley was eager to jumpstart his musical career until the label company encountered a problem. “All sounded well until Napster happened. Napster was sort of the beginning of illegal file trading,” Wrigley said. “And the label that had been interested in us, which

Sasha Socolow / The Spectator

Art Appreciation is always a memorable class for freshmen. It’s one of the few classes at Stuyvesant that encourages students to be creative. Many look back and remember certain art pieces they connected to or artwork they created for the class. However, art teacher William Wrigley makes his class stand out for an additional reason: anecdotes about his life that are so absurd, they seem impossible to make up. Many of Wrigley’s students talk about his outlandish personal stories from when he was a young adult, which hold a certain charm that easily enchants listeners. “I’m not afraid to show my silliness sometimes with students,” Wrigley explained. When asked to provide an example of his anecdotes, he replied, “Are you talking about the time that I had so much coffee that the Italian military police were involved, or are you talking about the time that I failed a music career because I was in grad school?” Many of Wrigley’s stories happened when he was in his 20s. He spent a part of those years in a summer art program in a small town in Italy. Though Wrigley did not drink alcohol or partake in drugs, he was addicted to another substance: coffee. One night at a bar on the top of a mountain, the owner offered Wrigley a very strong coffee drink, dubbed “rocket fuel.” That night, Wrigley drank cup after cup. “I had a lot of energy, and I was probably close to a heart attack, you know, that

level of caffeine,” Wrigley recalled. At that point, Wrigley decided to return to his art studio down the mountain for late-night painting and, filled with energy, ran at full speed down the mountain. “There was one corner I was going to have to turn before I would get to my studio,” Wrigley said. “And when I turned it, two guns [came] up in my face.” Those guns were held by police officers, who asked him why he was running so fast. After catching his breath and processing what had happened, Wrigley answered, “I have just received news my grandfather is dead.” Wrigley expressed regret for telling this lie since his grandfather was alive, and he still feels horrible for saying otherwise. A police officer offered his phone to Wrigley to call his parents, whom he quickly dialed. They later returned to find what they thought was a hostage tape. Still hypercaffeinated, Wrigley said into the phone, “Hi, Mom and Dad. I’m just calling to let you know I’m safe and I love you and I hope I see you soon, but I can’t talk very long. They’ve got guns, and I’m nervous.” And then he hung up. The story about Wrigley’s runin with the Italian police is one of many he tells occasionally during class. When telling these tales, he highlights that even though they sound ridiculous, he would not be the same person without experiencing them. It all started when Wrigley was 17 years old. At the time, he won a regional spelling bee with a mon-

was a big label, BMG, lost a lot of money in the course of one quarter.” At the same time, he thought he would commit all his time to the label, so he requested a leave of absence from Columbia University. Wrigley was dropped from the label and the school would not allow reenrollment. At the same time, Wrigley fell in love with teaching and decided to embark on that career. New York was also where he met his wife. Wrigley feels that his decisions and the way his life played out led him to where he is today. “If I hadn’t won that spelling bee, […] I would be a different person than I am now. That really set my course,” Wrigley commented. That is the message Wrigley tries to convey when telling these stories to his students. “Really, take those chances,” Wrigley encouraged. “Apply for those scholarships, apply for those spelling bees, do those debates. Don’t worry about your resume, but look for opportunities.” Wrigley also tells these stories to get closer to his students and connect to them more directly. “I don’t like being up on the pedestal behind the microphone,” Wrigley explained. “And if I can make the students laugh at something that happened to me, I think that’s cool.” Many of the students who have had Wrigley look back on their memories in his class fondly. At the very least, it’s evident that Wrigley is effective at capturing the imagination of his students through his inspiring and entertaining tales.

How Teachers Parent By SUYEON RYU

do very frequently is she’ll take a walk with me and we’ll talk about [...] whatever is going on,” he said. “We’ve developed that kind of connection.” Teaching students requires sympathy, and this emphasis on compassion applies to a teacher’s own child as well. “The teaching skills that I have been able to apply to parenting have to do with patience and navigating conflict and listening. I know as a teacher that when a student is upset, for whatever reason, in the moment, they are not receptive to learning,” Grossman said. “It’s impor-

Christina Jiang / The Spectator

Education plays a crucial role in building the academic and moral knowledge that shapes one’s view of the world. That is the reason why teachers interact with students every day, hoping to shape their futures for the better. It is sometimes forgotten that parents share the same responsibility. When a teacher becomes a parent (or, for a lack of better words, a “teacher-parent”), the responsibility of both roles creates a unique worldview that can provide benefits to all parties involved, from student to child to parent. Assistant Principal of English Eric Grossman explained how parenting has informed him of the diversity of family situations and how they can influence school performance. “Being a parent has made me even more aware how many students that I teach [...] don’t have that same luxury and privilege [as my family does], who can’t count on homework help, and it makes me respect and admire the work that my students do even more,” he said. Children of teacher-parents shared that their parents provide them with valuable resources due to their expertise in education. Freshman Tamiyyah Shafiq remarked that their parents’ careers

as teachers have influenced their parenting methods. “They generally let me experiment and figure out things myself while guiding me instead of just throwing information my way,” they said in an e-mail interview. Not only that, the guidance from teacher-parents extends beyond academic help. Freshman Madeline Hutchinson, whose mother is an art therapy teacher, found that her mom’s desired career path was influenced by art projects she did with her sister. “Both her influences on writing and art have pushed me to want to pursue that kind of career,” she said. Unlike what one might assume, the relationship between teachers, parents, and their children is not always oriented toward academic success, but rather to develop a healthy relationship with school. Freshman Khush Wadhwa remembers how his test anxiety was relieved with his parents’ help. When he got back a low test score, his parents’ emphasis on looking forward pulled him back up from mental defeat. He realized, “You bring home a bad grade and it doesn’t change the way the people around you will view you.” Wadhwa’s relationship with his mom is mutual and he helps his mom on her demanding days. “Something we

tant to help them to calm down before our relationship or our learning can move forward.” However, being a working parent also brings challenges. “Work became my break,” Grossman said, mentioning how the constant struggle for work and

parenting left little room for personal time. Math teacher Dawn Vollaro, who has been teaching for 25 years, also explained how being a teacher and a parent can lead to an ever-present cognitive dissonance between those two identities. “Your identity can’t just be ‘I’m a mom,’ ‘I’m a dad,’ ‘I’m a teacher,’” Vollaro said. “You have to somehow keep that part of you that you’re still you. [...] If you can’t take care of yourself, you cannot take care of your child.” Vollaro also elaborated on her experiences as a single parent with an autistic child. “It’s like apples and oranges,” she said. “My expectations for my child and for my students are high, [...] but there are certain things that I know my child will not be able to do.” Age is also an important factor in relationship dynamics. Grossman explained that being a teacher could not prepare him for parenthood largely because infants bring different responsibilities than high school students. He explained how he finds it more manageable when his children need help on occasional English papers and college applications than when they were little. “Teenagers continue to be challenges, but they are challenges that I feel better equipped to navigate,” he said.

English teacher Maura Dwyer, who has been teaching for 13 years, noted the particular difficulties in raising an infant, explaining how these new challenges have impacted her career. Unlike teenage students, her nine-month-old son has a peculiar hobby of pulling heavy objects off the shelves; addressing parental responsibilities like these is a time commitment that she had to get used to. “I care about my students and put the same effort into the feedback I give. It just takes me longer because the time I have with my son and my family takes precedence, and I’ve had to learn to give myself a break if things don’t happen as quickly as they used to,” Dywer said in an e-mail interview. Though parenting and teaching are two different experiences, they connect in many aspects and are valuable for everyone involved. The unique relationship dynamic that teacher-parents have with their children gives them more opportunities for academic and personal growth. Hutchinson described her relationship with her mother: “She’s a mentor and a mom and a teacher all in one person.” Vollaro described her profession as building the fundamentals of children and students alike: “Being a parent, that’s the first teacher your child is going to have and a lifelong teacher.”

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The Spectator • December 22, 2021

Editorials Stuy? Sleep? Stop. It’s one thing for you to find out that a close friend posted a picture of you on their personal Instagram, but completely another to find a picture of you sleeping during a free period on an account you have never heard of before with an anonymous admin. Frankly, you feel violated that a stranger had taken a photo of you in such a compromising position from across the hallway. Yet, this is the predicament that many Stuyvesant students have had to face with increasing frequency, most notably on @stuyslumped, an Instagram account that encourages students to send in pictures that they have taken of others without permission to feature on the Instagram page. The supposed purpose of the page is to show the sleeping culture at Stuyvesant “just for fun” (as per the page’s profile) and that it’s not meant to spread “hate/embarrassment.” It seems a bit backward to post without permission and then to take the post down if the person photographed didn’t want to be photographed. @stuyslumped is not the only account of its kind and is not the only one worth calling out. These types of Instagram accounts are the ones centered around a specific and supposedly humorous niche of Stuyvesant for entertainment, which include, but are not limited to, taking photos of people’s feet and/or taking photos of their shoes while they’re using the bathroom. The creator(s) of them are anonymous and the accounts are sustained through viewer and usersubmitted content/photos, usually

in the form of direct messaging or Google Forms. Of course, the emergence of these accounts is nothing new, but the nature of these accounts themselves is the issue. These accounts, which post photos of students in compromising positions without their explicit permission or consent, are problematic. Strength grows in numbers; the more posts are posted, the more the account is circulated on people’s feeds, the more it can attract other followers, the more people will talk about it, and the more it will keep growing. It’s a positive feedback loop. Though these accounts may be intended to mean no harm, and they give a blanket statement like “this acc is just for fun! no hate/ embarrassment,” because it directly attacks a person’s anonymity, it does. Most people featured may not even know they are featured, especially if they don’t have a social media account themselves. How could a problem be resolved when the people the problem affects don’t even know of its existence? Given that everything posted on the internet stays on the internet for all to see, and @stuyslumped is a public account, posting pictures of students without their consent in compromising situations is a clear violation of their privacy. If someone does not want a picture of themself on the internet, then it should not be posted there in the first place. And if a photo does, somehow, find its way onto an Instagram account, then it should be easy to get that photo removed.

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Despite this, certain Instagram accounts require a person to comment on the post they want to be removed, drawing more attention to the post and ironically eliminating the little anonymity and privacy that you had left. With the web at our fingertips, we have an immense amount of power to do both good and harm to our peers. These accounts are part of a larger internet trend spanning high schools across the country, propagated on platforms such as Instagram and TikTok. Though they may intend to make light of various aspects of being a modern-day teenager, their actions will inevitably offend and harm other students by ignoring the wishes of students who do not want to be on their pages. Other school-related trends on the internet are not as benign. For instance, the subject of Director of Engagement Dina Ingram’s recent family letter addresses a TikTok challenge where users post videos of vague threats to commit violence on their school. There is no actual basis behind most, if not all, of these threats. Even so, they’ve contributed to creating an uncomfortable and unsafe environment in educational institutions, to the point that they’ve gained national coverage and intervention from school administrations. These trends follow a pattern, demonstrating an abandon of humanity in the clutches of internet anonymity. Students and internet users have a responsibility to uphold mutual respect online, regardless of intent.

American Sign Language and the Fight to be Heard By VIRGENYA ZHU

gin as soon as elementary school, with introductory lessons and classes in kindergarten. This program wouldn’t just benefit deaf students, but their hearing counterparts as well. Studies show that hearing kids learn languages faster when they are paired with hand movements, since more pathways are created in the brain. Combining ASL with English courses makes them both easier to teach and to learn. Sign language is a versatile form of communication and is essential for connecting with special needs kids, reducing the stigma many have faced since childhood. Teaching ASL in schools would begin to close the gap between hearing and non-hearing people. Unfortunately, the reason many people don’t ever try to learn sign language is because they don’t feel like it impacts them. However, that belief isn’t true. A family member, co-worker, or friend could become deaf at any point. Learning sign language beforehand could remove the language barrier and make the transition easier for the deaf person, friends, and family. Additionally, more than 90 percent of deaf babies are born to hearing parents. Whether your parents go deaf because of old age or your children are born deaf, you will probably learn sign language faster if you were introduced to it in school. Making ASL a mandatory class would lessen the employment gap between hearing and hearing-impaired people and begin to close the language barrier. In a few decades’ time, the world would be a much better place. Natalie Soler / The Spectator

People who are hearing-impaired face a lot of difficulties in society––difficulties that could be easily avoided if more hearing people were taught American Sign Language (ASL) at a young age. ASL provides benefits to both hearing and non-hearing people, and incorporating it into the education system would be easy and efficient. Nearly five percent of the nation’s population is deaf or hard of hearing, and being able to communicate with this group should be valued and encouraged. Learning sign language also brings awareness to the hearing-impaired community, educating students on the challenges they face. Most hearing people are not aware of the magnitude of the problems that the hearing-impaired face. For example, since sign language is not accessible in regular schools, their only education option is specialneeds schools, which are expensive and not widely available. There are also a lot of careers that hearingimpaired people cannot pursue because of the tasks the jobs involve, and even more job opportunities are restricted because the employers don’t understand sign language. The work application process is also made difficult when interviewers do not provide interpreters. However, with societal adjustments to COVID-19 in the last few years, the hearing-impaired community has been hit with a slew of new problems. Social isolation is hard for all of us, but it

presents even more of a hardship for people with hearing disabilities, who may rely on someone being present to help with things like traveling, applying for jobs and loans, or even going to the grocery store. Without assistance, a deaf person may have to reroute their entire routine. Another major difficulty that hearing-impaired people have faced during this period is the restrictive nature of masks. Many deaf people rely on lip reading to get a baseline understanding of

what someone is saying, but masks have made lip reading impossible. Many deaf people say they feel isolated in social situations because hearing people rarely interact with them. This struggle is due in part to the stigma that surrounds deafness. Endless misunderstandings arise when hearing people aren’t familiar with sign language, making it hard for hearing-impaired people to find ways to communicate. The language barrier that makes it so hard for deaf people to function in society can be easily resolved through ASL education in schools. Integration could be-

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Voices Would you like to share a personal narrative with the school? Whether it’s an essay you’ve written for a class or a piece you’ve been working on by yourself, if it is non-fiction and in first-person, it could get published in The Spectator! Send your stories to features@stuyspec.com, or e-mail us with any questions or concerns. If you wish, it may be published anonymously.

The Spectator • December 22, 2021

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Opinions Japanese Jukus: The Cramming Lifestyle By STEFANIE CHEN

showed that children attending jukus after school typically had fewer hours of sleep and free time than those who didn’t. Those who attended jukus had increased signs of sleep deprivation and eye fatigue. University of Tokyo professor of sociology Ikuo Amano stated that “jukus are harmful to Japanese education and children,” as it isn’t healthy for kids to have such little free time. Attending jukus isn’t cheap, either. Juku is a multi-billion dollar industry in Japan, with some being large enough to instruct over

money for jukus in the first place and must take out loans to pay for the supplementary classes. As a result, jukus seem to be divided based on who can and cannot afford their services. Those who are less wealthy cannot gain access to jukus as easily as those who have sufficient income to do so. Jukus have often been directly correlated with rises in school and university test scores, making it even more disadvantageous for poorer families to enroll their children in a juku. Essentially, the creation of jukus has created a suc-

20 thousand students. On average, attending a juku as a fourth grader costs 600 thousand to 800 thousand yen a year ($5,200 to $7,000). The cost for older students becomes notably higher with the larger amount of material they are required to cover, reaching up to $13 thousand. The standard Japanese family income in 2020 was around $21 thousand. Most Japanese households don’t have the

cess system that the majority of the population cannot utilize. Of the different groups of students attending jukus, around 3.8 percent of students come from families with an annual income of less than 4 million yen ($35 thousand) while 28.9 percent come from families with an annual income of 8 million yen ($70 thousand) or more. Even with the piling expenses, many parents still send

Fareha Islam / The Spectator

The relief when a school day ends courses through you as you think about all of the exciting things that you are now free to do. You can sleep in and forget that school and work exist until the next day. But not everyone gets this relief. For some, something forces itself into this tranquility: cram school. In Japan, cram schools, commonly known as “gakushu juku” (study schools), are privately run after school tutoring programs that help students with their performance in regular school in addition to offering cram classes for specific subject areas or major examinations. They aren’t dissimilar to prep services for the SHSAT or SAT, but the conditions and costs are much more brutal. Japanese children typically begin attending jukus when they are in their third or fourth year of primary school. According to a 1992 article from The New York Times, the Yano Research Institute in Japan found that almost 4.4 million students were enrolled in over 50 thousand cram schools. This total represents 18.6 percent of Japanese elementary school students and 52.2 percent of students in seventh to ninth grade. More than 37 percent of Japanese students attended preparatory schools in 2018 in order to prepare themselves for entrance exams or secure extra assistance in problem areas at school. The time and money spent on jukus may be beneficial and even necessary for students. Nineteenyear-old female student Rina, who had been going to juku since she was in elementary school, stated that she enjoyed her cram school. She could interact and study with

friends in the class, and the teachers were incredibly supportive. However, most students do not have as positive of an experience. Japanese parents often force their children to go to these schools in order to have an enhanced and accelerated educational experience. While these schools are aimed at preparing students for their futures, the stretching hours can lead to deficits in students’ health as well as huge reductions to their leisure time. A nearly universal reluctance to go, along with the long hours and costliness of these cram schools, makes jukus an investment that takes more than it provides for students. Jukus typically run from 5:00 p.m. to 8:00 p.m, with some extending until after 9:00 p.m. These classes take place after school hours and on weekends, holidays, and breaks, leaving almost no free time for their students. Lois Peak describes her experience with a juku in her novel, “Learning to Go to School in Japan,” stating how young children would study until late hours to pass elementary school entrance exams. While these children are still in primary school, they consistently arrive home at late times in order to cram for examinations. Another case describes Naohiko Harata, an 18-year-old Japanese student interviewed by Japanese author Phil Sudo. Harata stated that after arriving home from the juku, he would study until dinner, as well as afterward, commonly until 2:00 a.m. or 3:00 a.m. These jukus leave little time for Japanese children to do anything besides the necessities— a familiar story for Stuyvesant students and our own obsessive study habits. A questionnaire in 1993

their children to jukus. Most don’t want to risk their children’s education to help them gain admission to good universities and get good jobs. However, that advantage of jukus still does not change the fact that jukus’ expensive costs allow fewer to afford them, acting as a barrier between the rich and poor. Cram culture isn’t only a major facet of schooling in Japan, but in several other countries around the world. In fact, Stuyvesant High School is one of the most notorious high schools in this respect. Though only a few months have passed since school began, I have already met countless people who go to similarly structured cram schools during the weekend. Many are beginning to draw parallels between cram schools in the United States and Chinese cram culture. Just like jukus, American cram schools (usually for tests like the ACT and SAT) extend for long hours and boast high prices. Jukus and cram schools can’t be eradicated, but it is possible to improve the conditions for those attending them. One of the first things that can be done is to make cram schools available for free through volunteering services. Since not all parents have the means to enroll their children in supplementary classes, offering accessible schooling will help lower class families enroll their children in jukus while avoiding falling into debt. The length of cram school sessions is one of the harder aspects to fix due to the amount of information that needs to be taught. However, one way to lessen this obstacle is to encourage peer tutoring in class. While the market for gaining an academic advantage can’t be reduced, we can try our best to make it available for all.

Studying Self-Defense

By USHOSHI DAS On the last day of second grade, my mother took me to a dojo for a trial judo lesson. I was an energetic kid, and she wanted

me to expend some of my energy in a place that wasn’t our apartment. She also wanted me to learn how to defend myself. I didn’t care why I was doing judo– –I just knew that I loved it. When I tell people that I’ve been doing judo for six years, they often ask me what to do if someone attacks them. It’s a reasonable question, and one that not enough people know the answer to. Knowing how to react in dangerous situations is something most of us are woefully lacking. I started walking around the city alone when I was in middle school. Though sometimes I am still nervous when I’m by myself,

I—and my parents—feel safer knowing I can fight or at least try to run. But crime has been rising, especially in places like the subway; subway robberies and muggings increased by 18 percent from August to September 2021. Still, like many students at Stuyvesant, I have to take public transportation to and from school, oftentimes alone and at night. As inhabitants of a volatile city, it’s vital we learn how to defend ourselves and know where to get help. With gun violence surging, teaching students how to disarm an assailant could be life-saving. There are many forms of mar-

tial arts for students to discover. Some, such as Aikido, work with weapons. Others, like judo, use the opponent’s balance against them. Since every situation is different, students should learn a variety of martial arts. If schools incorporate basic self-defense into the health and physical education curriculum, students could be more prepared to respond to threatening situations. If we’re taught how to run, jump, and throw, we should also be taught how to break grips and throw a punch. Having martial arts instructors who have spent years mastering self-defense is the best way to ensure no one gets hurt.

Students can practice with martial arts dummies and shadow practice—practicing defenses in the air. If we learn from a young age what to do, self-defense will come naturally. Because of the pandemic, I wasn’t able to do judo for a year, but as soon as I started again, I remembered every throw and pin I had learned. I had practiced so much that it became muscle memory. Under pressure, we have to react quickly and effectively. And if enough school children—the so-called easy targets—learn self-defense, our city will be a lot safer.

Holidays Don’t Need Fixing By AYA ALRYYES Turning one’s calendar to December brings some certainties: 1. The existential-crisiscausing realization that another year is nearly gone. 2. Gingerbread cookies. 3. Hearing the call to “put the Christ back in Christmas.” This last movement, a response to the perceived recent secularization of Christmas, is commonly used among pastors, Christian bloggers, and public figures including athlete John Gibson and Reverend Jerry Falwell Sr. They will often criticize the popularization of terms like “holiday tree,” as well as the swapping of creche and manger imagery with that of fairy lights, ornaments, and presents.

In this call is a fundamental misunderstanding of both the history of Christmas and of religious tradition in general, which is neither separatist nor fixed. The long and winding evolution of Christmas into what it is today perfectly illustrates the cultural exchanges and external influences that shape how we celebrate. The date of Jesus’ birth is unmentioned in the scriptures, and for the first centuries of Christianity, Easter was the central holiday. It was only in 336 A.D. when the first Christmas took place. The date chosen, December 25th, was the Roman calendar’s winter solstice, which was a time for celebration of light and warmth. Church leaders purposefully wished to associate Christmas with the preexisting traditions surrounding the solstice in order to increase the chances of the new holiday

taking hold. From the very start, Christmas was informed by pagan tradition. Furthermore, the time around December 25th was Saturnalia, the Roman celebration of their god of agriculture. This was a month-long hedonistic festival involving the suspension of social rules and hierarchy, with slaves dining beside masters. Continuing through the Middle Ages, Saturnalia had strong influences on Christmas, which in those days was a rowdy affair. After mass, celebrators would join processions, drink, and demand fine food from the wealthy. Saturnalia is also the source of many of the traditions considered quintessential to Christmas, including the giving of gifts and decorating one’s house with evergreen foliage. It was only in the 19th century that cultural shifts, as well as in-

dividual impact, shaped Christmas into something resembling what it is today. Washington Irving’s 1819 series, “The Sketchbook of Geoffrey Crayon,” portrayed an English Christmas celebration in which the rich and poor alike came together to feast. The absence of class lines in his story, especially in a time of social upheaval in relation to a holiday that emphasized class, was notable. In his story, Irving wrote that he was describing “ancient custom,” when it was really just born of his mind. In this way, Irving cemented the association of Christmas with charity and the reconciliation of differences, as well as promoting the Christmas dinner tradition. Nine years later in 1828, a Christmas procession devolved into a particularly violent riot. This created a push for change and a desire to turn Christmas

into a private, family-centered holiday. Americans looked to Old World customs as well as those of new immigrants (the name Santa Claus, for example, is from the Turkish-born Dutch Saint Nikolaas) to derive all the components for a perfect Franken-holiday. This is why the call to “put the Christ Back in Christmas” has no grounds in history. Tracing back any holiday considered to be “established”—including Passover and Easter—reveals just how much external influence has shaped them, and how little sense there is in making them exclusionary. Cultural exchange is not something to be campaigned against, but to be celebrated as a beautiful inevitability that gives rise to the traditions in which we find connection and joy.

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The Spectator • December 22, 2021

Opinions Safety First By ERICA LI Just outside Wilmington Park Elementary School in California, a shooting on December 6, 2021, left one 13-year-old boy dead and two others injured. Just days before, a 15-year-old fatally shot four students and wounded six others, along with one teacher, at Oxford High School in Michigan. The number of school shootings across the United States continues to rise. The Center for Homeland Defense and Security’s K-12 Shooting Database tracks the number of times a gun is brandished, a gun is fired, or a bullet hits school properties for any reason. Fourteen incidents were recorded in September 2019. The tracker recorded 24 incidents in September 2020. And it recorded 55 incidents in September 2021 alone. As school shootings increase, the characteristics of the incidents are also beginning to differ. This year, the shooters and victims were younger, more often children or teenagers than teachers and other staff members. In Mississippi, a first grade student even accidentally shot another six-year-old. Recent trends have also shown that the perpetrators are more likely to be students of the school, rather than random individuals. In addition, the incidents are increasingly likely to take place during the school day or at events where there are large numbers of people. In fact, 11 out of the 55 incidents in September 2021 happened at or around football games. Shootings are also more likely to be the result of fights, such as fistfights, where the students are armed and that escalate into shootouts. Retaliation shootings, stemming from gang violence or personal conflicts, are a common cause of school shootings. Under pressure, school systems throughout the nation are starting to implement physical measures like metal detectors and random bag checks, as well as advanced surveillance technology. New York City Mayor Bill de Blasio announced in October that he would station more metal detectors and police officers throughout NYC campuses to combat the increase of violent incidents and gun confiscations. Metal detectors have been used in US schools to prevent violence since the 1980s. Most of the metal detectors are either installed with fixed walk through devices or handheld wands. Though sometimes disruptive, the implementation of metal detectors does have positive effects. They are a clear sign of constant security presence on school campuses, deterring violence. They add another layer of security and a feeling of safety for students, teachers, and staff members alike. A recent poll of about 85 parents also revealed that most (87 percent) favored metal detectors

School, Not Jail

in schools, as they believed that children do not function well under high stress and unsafe environments, interrupting their intellectual and social development. Metal detectors ease many parents’ anxiety about their children’s safety in schools. In New York City schools alone, about half of confiscated weapons found are due to metal detectors placed in the buildings. WNYC, America’s most listened to public radio station, ran a project in 2015 on metal detectors in New York City, finding that for every 23,034 students scanned, one dangerous item (including but not limited to firearms) could be found. In total, 712 weapons were found in the 20132014 school year. Metal detectors do not just pick up guns; NYPD school crime data reported in 2016 that 37 of the 52 boxcutters found to have been smuggled into schools were detected by metal detectors, as were 36 out of 52 knives. Recently, a single metal detector placed in the Urban Assembly School for Law and Justice detected 21 weapons (nine knives, seven pepper sprays, four stun guns, and one pair of brass knuckles) in just one day. Left undetected, these weapons could have seriously injured someone. However, the effectiveness of metal detectors with other types of school security does depend on the staff members hired to run them, which means there will always be some level of human error, as school personnel and staff members need to have Iris Lin / The Spectator the proper training to keep metal detectors doing what they aim to do. Many of them are not properly trained, allowing the chance of metal detector misuse, a severe safety hazard. Many people also argue that metal detectors cause students to feel as if they attend a prison for school, but most parents, students, and staff members will always value safety first. Placing metal detectors in schools lowers the chance of violent acts occurring on school grounds and keeps schools a place where students feel safe and accepted. Metal detectors are there to help prevent common school fights from escalating into school shootings, thus allowing students to feel safer. Metal detectors in schools will allow students, parents, teachers, and staff members to learn in a comfortable environment. They are needed to deter students from bringing concealed weapons, lowering the chance of violence breaking out.

By GULAM MONAWARAH It seems like we hear news about tragic school shootings in our country every single day. These tragic events force students across the nation to ask, “Are we next?” Gun control laws are notoriously lax and inconsistent across the nation. Compromise seems nearly impossible: liberals vouch for stronger laws, claiming that the source of the recent uptick in mass shootings is weak protections on the ability of the mentally ill to obtain firearms. Conservatives say that such restrictions are unconstitutional and look for more short-term solutions. To prevent school shootings, many have begun stationing metal detectors and random bag checks at entrances. Mayor Bill de Blasio announced in October that he will station more metal detectors and police officers on campuses across New York City. Studies of gun violence in schools show a trend of mental illness, often undiagnosed. Seventy-eight percent of school shooters have a history of suicidal thoughts before their attack. Sixty-one percent of shooters have a history of suicide attempts and extreme depression. Seventy-one percent of the attackers are victims of bullying. However, these cases often go unnoticed until after the attack. Shooters use gun violence as a statement of revenge, hopelessness, and desperation. Metal detectors can be effective at deterring violence in the short term, but we need to focus on solving the long-term root causes of gun violence in schools, which are often untreated mental illness and gang violence. Metal detectors can create a prison-like environment within the school, can be ineffective due to ill-trained operators and unpreparedness, and are seen as discriminatory toward children who experience gang violence, who are often low-income students of color. A study by SAGE found that the negative association between metal detectors and urban students’ sense of safety is 13 percent less than for students attending suburban or rural schools. Furthermore, the presence of metal detectors and random bag checks in school has been shown to diminish academic performance because many students struggle to feel comfortable in such a heavily patrolled setting. Though metal detectors and random bag checks can help deter kids from bringing in guns, overall, they are inefficient against mass shootings and gang violence. Schools in NYC report that 57 percent of weapons confiscated in a single year were found without a detector, and studies show that metal detectors generally fail to identify a large percentage of weapons that pass through them. This

inefficiency is because metal detectors are not implemented to confiscate weapons on a large scale; they are mainly there for symbolic purposes, to give parents and kids the illusion of safety as opposed to real help. This symbolism doesn’t treat the real causes of gun violence. Most students who bring weapons to school have severe depression, have suicidal thoughts, or are pressured to by gang violence. When students are not worried about the repercussions of getting caught, metal detectors will not be potent. Furthermore, police officers managing metal detectors are often not taught to take care of them properly. Training to manage metal detectors is very limited; they need time to check each student who may have accidentally set an alarm off; students need to take time out of morning classes; and stationary detectors are hard to use and repair. Repair, cost, training, and morning mayhem weaken the “symbolic” aspect of metal detectors and make it easier for violent students to take advantage of unpreparedness. In the same study by SAGE, African American and Latino students were overrepresented as students at schools with metal detectors. Proponents for metal detectors say that they reduce gang violence in schools, especially in low-income communities of color. However, it is more effective to target the root causes and ask, “Why are children likely to bring weapons to school in the first place?” Factors like poverty, racism, poor housing, and addiction are risk factors for children to partake in gang violence, factors that are also prevalent in communities that have been historically discriminated against, such as communities of color. In cases like these, a better solution is to expand guidance services and resources for people of color living in hostile environments. Not only would this action improve the general mental health of those exposed to gang violence, it would also lower violence in schools and take away the prisonesque feel of the school. The best solution is to recognize signs of mental distress in students through regular check-ins by guidance counselors and teachers, because mental illness and environmental violence are often factors that lead to in-school violence. If a student has signs of mental illness and/or potential for inflicting violence, their parents and police should be notified and steps taken to provide therapy and support. A solution like this framework can cover both the physical and emotional health aspects of school safety, whereas metal detectors and random bag checks sacrifice one for the other. A friend told me that it is better for a school to be a prison than a violence-torn hell. But school does not have to be either of those when we show sympathy for the students who experience violence first hand. No one can have a healthy mind without physical safety, and vice versa: by elevating mental health to the same standards as physical health, we can reach a point when metal detectors in school never have to be considered.

Shine the Light on Taiwan

By DUNCAN PARK Over the past few decades, Chinese pressure on Taiwan has steadily increased. As a Taiwanese person in America, I fear for Taiwan’s safety, considering China’s presence on the island. In recent years, China has been sending planes over Taiwan and underwater vehicles containing missiles and cameras to Taiwanese shores. These threats show China’s growing urge to conquer Taiwan. To prevent this outcome, the United

States, a long-time ally of Taiwan, must use its military and diplomatic power to intervene. China and Taiwan have been ruled by separate governments for nearly a century, leading the two nations to develop different cultural makeups and political systems. The Taiwanese have a unique system of government, which in recent times has been independent of China’s. Linguistically, the Taiwanese have their own dialect of the standard Mandarin spoken in mainland China, one that is noticeably different in sound and writing. Taiwanese inhabitants are generally adverse to China. According to a survey conducted by Pew Research Center, only 35 percent of Taiwanese respondees have a positive view of China. Meanwhile, Taiwanese people tend to have a positive association with the United States. Eighty-five percent and 79 percent of survey respondents prefer close economic and political ties with the United States, respectively. It is clear that the vast

majority of Taiwan isn’t appeased by the idea of unification with China and wants its own identity. The United States, a longtime bystander, needs to start thinking about its economic stance with Taiwan and how it will be affected if China were to take over. Though it may seem surprising considering Taiwan’s size, Taiwan is the U.S.’s ninth largest trading partner in goods, with the U.S. importing $60.4 billion worth of goods and exporting $30.2 billion worth. If the U.S. allows China to seize Taiwan and its economic assets, Chinese power in the AsiaPacific region will grow at the detriment of neighboring countries such as Japan and India, and much of Asia’s economy will move into China’s hands. Politically, the U.S. has almost always been on positive terms with Taiwan. When North Korea invaded South Korea in June of 1950, the U.S. began taking measures to prevent widespread communism. One of these measures

was strengthening relationships with Taiwan in order to prevent China from using its power against the small nation. During the Vietnam War, Taiwan provided the U.S. with economic and technical assistance, further strengthening their bonds. As it becomes increasingly difficult to both please China and defend Taiwan, the U.S. needs to start publicly supporting Taiwan. China is clearly hoping to control the smaller island, evident in the increasing number of their warplanes flown over Taiwan. While the Chinese government has never explicitly stated they will use military force, they have also not ruled it out as an option as they vow to reunify the island. The presence of China looming over a small nation is a daunting threat. While China arguably possesses one of the strongest militaries in the world, the U.S. has the power to form alliances with countries that neighbor China, such as Japan, India, and Australia. In the

past century, the U.S.-Japan relationship has strengthened, which could help both parties come to an alliance in supporting Taiwan. When it comes down to military strength, China does have the upper hand, boasting nearly double the United States’ tally of active soldiers, but with the help of other Asia-Pacific countries and the U.S., the threat of China invading is less likely. Four-star General Mark Milley believes that the U.S. has more than enough power to defend Taiwan if China were to invade. The United States finds itself near the forefront of the conflict between China and Taiwan. While the island may be thousands of miles away, the fight for Taiwan’s autonomy has never been more important. The U.S. has the power to shape the narrative: peace in the Asia-Pacific region or an era of Chinese dominance. As a nation of great military and diplomatic strength and one of the few nations China fears, we, the United States, need to support Taiwan.

Geoffrey Huang / The Spectator

Julia Lee / The Spectator

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Photo Essay

All Wrapped Up By THE PHOTO DEPARTMENT

The Spectator ● December 22, 2021

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Science Ear-Prints and the Future of Digital Security By ELMA KHAN

primary biometric. Others remain skeptical about the accuracy of ear biometrics and believe that common biometrics such as fingerprints and irises will remain superior. After all, ear identification still has its flaws. For example, ear shapes can be converted with plastic surgery or piercings. Joseph Santos-Sacchi, a Yale professor of otolaryngology, physiology, and neurobiology, remarked that people can manipulate their ears with jewelry, altering the shapes of their ears and making the biometric less effective. But fingerprints are not faultless either. Experts say that it is quite common for fingerprints to rub off or for obstructive calluses to develop as a result of hard labor or accidents. Furthermore, Kevin Bowyer, a computer scientist at Notre Dame who is also researching ear-identifying technology, cites degraded biometric performances in irises. Inaccuracies with iris identification are especially prone with older people. According to the CSIR (Council of Scientific and Industrial Cadence Li / The Spectator

Identity is crucial in today’s enormously populated world. At Stuyvesant, its importance is demonstrated daily when we scan our student ID cards to enter the school building. Identification has many uses and forms, including passports, social security cards, and fingerprints. Recently, scientists developed a new biometric to identify people more conveniently than the conventional fingerprints and irises: ears. Biometrics are physical characteristics that are unique to every individual. Our ears are fully formed from the day we’re born and their shapes are unique to every one of us. The lobes––the bottom tips of the ears–– elongate a little as humans age, but this is a measurable change. The overall structure of the ear stays the same regardless of age, unlike many other established biometrics. Recognizing this, Mark Nixon, along with computer scientists Alastair Cummings and John Carter, presented a paper at the IEEE Fourth International Conference on Biometrics introducing a successful software to identify individuals using ears with image ray transform technology. Image ray transform software is a shape-finding algorithm that distinguishes the helix, or outer edge, of our ear. As such, profile pictures are ideal for this technology. First, beams

of light are shone into the image of the ear. The light rays bounce off the numerous tubular features in the helix and the software captures the resulting reflections of light. Then, these reflections are analyzed and the software processes them repeatedly until a clear image of the ear appears. However, during experiments, hair blocking the ear or glasses behind the ear altered the vessel’s orientation, making the images flawed. To solve this, Nixon, Cummings, and Carter modified the algorithm such that the software could distinguish and isolate the ear and the head. This new algorithm proved to be extremely accurate, boasting a 99.6 percent accuracy rate throughout the analyses of over 250 ear images. An additional program has been able to translate the tubular features of the helix into a specific set of numbers, creating “ear IDs.” Nixon claims that since the software functions correctly under any facial expression and background, it is a dependable identifier. However, critics state that fingerprints, having been used for over 100 years, have proven to be accurate and easy enough to remain the

Research), infants sleep most of the time, so identifying them through irises is challenging. Moreover, while fingerprint patterns remain the same throughout one’s life, the size of the pattern changes in scale as the individual grows, and current fingerprintrelated technology cannot account for this. The goal of the advancing earrecognition technology is not to replace fingerprints, but to assist them in identification. After all, the more biometrics there are, the more accurate identification will become. Researchers are working on modifying the algorithm further by connecting it with other computer-vision technologies, expanding its applications and improving its speed. This can transform grainy security camera footage of criminals into quality “courtroomworthy” evidence. The ability to distinguish structural features highlights the amazing potential of image ray transform technology. Researcher Alastair Cummings proposed an interesting insight on this matter: “The ray transform technique may also be appropriate for use in gait biometrics, as legs act as tubular features that the transform is adept at extracting.” This technology could even progress to identifying people simply by the way they walk. Overall, ears as biometrics can lead to higher probabilities of solving crimes, catching criminals, and saving

SCIENCEBEAT Scientists have identified the first true millipede species, Eumilipes persephone, with a staggering 1,300 legs. The newfound species dethroned the former recordholder, Illacme plenipes, known to have approximately 750 legs. The newest Variant of Concern in the United States, Omicron, is far more transmissible than previous strains––anyone, including fully vaccinated individuals, can spread the virus to others. For now, Delta remains the main variant that is circulating in the United States. The CDC has narrowed the use of the Johnson & Johnson vaccine, citing the product's risk of blood clots. Instead, it recommends the mRNA vaccines from er and Moderna. lives. Considering the speed at which technology is developing, students may soon be scanning their ears to enter the school instead of swiping IDs.

The Future Depends On Power. A New Way of Power. By RANIA ZAKI It seems far-fetched that our bright-eyed city would lose its power. After all, outlets are always within reach, empty office buildings are always lit, and Stuyvesant is bright through the night. But continuing the status quo of power-hungry cities fueled by fossil fuels is a ticking time bomb due to climate change. In response, climate change activists have targeted the way that power is created in our modern world. The current aim is to generate power producing no carbon emissions––or zero-carbon power––as quickly as possible. But the fact is that even if the United States were to rely only on zero-carbon energy, our poorly developed power grid would make it impossible to use. Renewable energy, most notably wind and solar power, requires vast amounts of land and optimal weather conditions (think California and Nevada). As a result, solar and wind farms are typically located far from the cities they serve. This distance requires moving electricity hundreds of miles via high-tension wires one

sometimes sees driving on interstate highways. But the US doesn’t have the infrastructure to support this habit on a larger scale. If the US plans to decarbonize by 2050, it would have to triple the current transmission infrastructure, producing more lines, generators, and optimizing its grid in general. Even the current grid isn’t a great base to start from. Many of the electrical lines powering our society are weathering, old, and well into the second half of their lifespans, according to the American Society of Civil Engineers. Gretchen Bakke, author of “The Grid,” sums it up perfectly: “The grid [is] really this bottleneck between some sort of vision of a strong––a strongly renewable powered future and what we've got right now because it's the grid that is the weakest link.” It’s like trying to generate lemonade from a few dried up seeds. At the forefront of the current power grid’s successors is the smart grid, which aims to interconnect separate grids and better adapt to service and demand. Using sensors and controllers known as Phasor Mea-

surement Units (PMU), the smart grid can make automatic adjustments to maximize efficiency. It manages power demand, making use of renewable energy when it’s most abundant and preventing energy shortages. By constantly measuring the energy levels at different points on the grid, it can quickly sense imbalances and intervene when there is less power than needed, preventing blackouts. Additionally, many smart grid models use a microgrid structure, which is able to manage power to small communities while still being connected to the larger network. This system’s largest benefit lies in preventing a region-wide blackout like the one in Texas last February. If a line in a county of Texas went down in, the smart grid would isolate it so the blackout stays within that small area instead of cascading more widely by automatically, instead of manually, preventing areas close to the blackout from being overly stressed trying to compensate for power loss. However, smart grids have a critical vulnerability. By connecting all electrical networks to computer networks and thus to the Internet, there

is a heightened risk for disastrous cyberattacks, which is made even greater considering the lack of cybersecurity and emergency response systems in the current grid. In 2018, Russia infiltrated US power plants using decade-old tactics like phishing that targeted the human portions of digital systems. Upgrading the current electrical grid would also require great strides in cybersecurity to preserve the integrity of the smart grid and its functions. Implementing a smart grid, even locally, is a challenge, but expanding it globally poses a greater issue. America has the ability to build and expand infrastructure much faster than it currently is. For example, the significant development of natural gas pipelines raises questions about our country’s inability to construct electrical lines. From 2010 to 2019, the U.S. added 107,400 miles of gas pipelines mainly because the federal government has streamlined the process by reducing bureaucratic hurdles; unlike other types of infrastructure, which might require federal, state, and local approval, a gas pipeline requires only an agency stamp

from the Federal Energy Regulatory Commission. Expanding electric transmission is much more complicated: if a company wants to build a new transmission line, it must secure the buy-ins of each state and local agency that the line passes through. This status quo—in which it’s easy to build new fossil-fuel infrastructure but very difficult to build new electricity infrastructure—promotes the use of nonrenewable resources that damage the environment. We have already seen the impacts of climate change, from the wildfires in California to the rising temperatures globally. And without an infrastructure to support zero-carbon energy, the future of power relies on aging lines, weak cybersecurity, and fossil fuels, all which stresses yet hinders the urgency of implementing the smart grid. Once expanded, the smart grid will promise resilience for the future. And in doing so, the country will be making the segue to an efficient system where the consumer can essentially participate in generating power, communicate demand, and rely on efficient zerocarbon providers.

Is Omicron as Ominous as it Sounds? By SOPHIA WAN- BRODSKY and KARINA GUPTA With over 100,000 new COVID-19 infections per day, our country is far from back to normal. Like all viruses, SARS-CoV-2 evolves as genetic mutations occur. This causes the formation of variants, which are classified according to the risk they pose. As of now, only two variants of concern have been identified by the CDC. One of them is the Delta variant, which was first detected in late 2020. Recently, a new variant has emerged, threatening the fight to reestablish our pre-COVID lives: the Omicron. The Omicron variant was first identified in South Africa on November 23, 2021 and is currently spreading in that region twice as quickly as the Delta variant did. As of today, the majority of positive COVID tests are of the Omicron variant. Rapidly gaining a stronger grip on South Africa, this variant has begun branching out into other regions, having since been identified in 57 countries and counting.

Though no deaths have been as- years and older––have been shown sociated with Omicron so far, these to neutralize the Omicron variant. figures have generated concern Worry around the vaccine’s reabout the transmissibility of this sistance against Omicron also stems new variant as well as the effective- from the fact that it is now the most ness of vaccinations against it. heavily mutated COVID variant so The efficacy of COVID vacfar. Omicron possesses about cines on Omicron is now 50 mutations, a troubling a widely debated increase from the Delta varitopic in the ant’s mere 15. Similar scientific comto previous strains, munity given most of Omithe rise of cron’s mutations Omicron cases a r e e x in South Afrihibca, a region ited which is in its spike around proteins, o n e str uctures quarter crucial to vaccithe replinated. Recently, cation of Pfizer has recoronavir uses. leased promising Aptly named for data painting the t h e “spikes” outlook as slightly Phoebe Buckwalter / The Spectator t h e y form on less ominous. Though t w o the outside of the virus, these doses seem to be insufficiently pro- structures are bumpy glycoproteins tective, Pfizer booster shots––now located on the viral membrane. available for individuals ages 16 These proteins allow the virus to

fuse to the membrane of the cell and send virus replication instructions inside; the eventual accumulation of viruses within the cell may lead to its collapse. It is also important to note that more mutations doesn’t necessarily amount to a more deadly virus. Amid the heightened concerns and growing rates, research has suggested that Omicron causes less severe disease than Delta does. While Omicron cases have surged in South Africa, the country has not seen a significant uptick in hospitalizations or deaths. Despite its lack of extreme severity, researchers at the South African Center for Epidemiological Modeling and Analysis at Stellenbosch University concluded that Omicron has a greater ability to infect previously infected individuals. The researchers identified over 35,000 unvaccinated South Africans who have had at least two suspected COVID infections. From there, the researchers focused on individuals who were reinfected more than once. It was discovered that 14.2

percent experienced their third infection this November, which correlates with the dominance of Omicron in the country during that time. However, most of the research is still preliminary, and studies have yet to be reviewed. Pfizer is now launching Paxlovid, a pill to be orally ingested after the exhibition of COVID symptoms. New studies show that Paxlovid was found to cut the rate of hospitalization or death one month after infection by 89 percent in high-risk adults with COVID-19. While many are concerned about the virus’s ability to mutate around this new pill, scientists have affirmed that rather than engaging with the DNA, this pill interferes with the replication of SARS-CoV-2 by binding to protease, an enzyme impertinent to the reproduction of the virus as well as the rest of its functions. This pill, if approved by the FDA, will be sold in pharmacies and will allow more people to treat their symptoms early on, hopefully leading to a brighter, maskless future.

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Science NASA’s DART Protection Project is a Step in a New Direction By JUSTIN LI

impact, scientists at NASA will measure the change in Dimorphos’s orbit around Didymos. DART will crash at a speed of 41 miles (6.6 kilometers) per second, and the impact is predicted to speed up the duration of the orbit and shift Dimorphos slightly closer to Didymos. An incoming, Earth-bound asteroid may sound terrifying to most people. However, the mission is actually just a simulation for future planetary defense scenarios involving incoming asteroids or comets. The purpose behind this mission is to show that an autonomous spacecraft is capable of deflection through direct asteroid

the Italian Space Agency, will be released prior to the collision event to capture images of the resulting cloud of ejected matter. At this point, the spacecraft will have traveled too far for NASA to operate in real-time, which is when the spacecraft will employ its autonomous navigation to steer itself into Dimorphos. After the

contact to save Earth’s population. NASA’s chief of Planetary Defense, Lindley Johnson, expresses agreement with initiating this project early. “We’re doing this work and testing this DART capability before we need it,” he said. Instead of facing haste and uncertainty in the event of an asteroid emergency, we have already

Vanessa Huang / The Spectator

NASA launched the Double Asteroid Redirection Test mission (DART) on Wednesday, November 24, 2021, at approximately 1:00 a.m. EST from the Vadenberg Space Force Base in California. The mission was assisted by a SpaceX Falcon 9 rocket, and it marks NASA’s first project involving space defense technology against potential extraterrestrial bodies. The target for this mission is an asteroid binary system––two asteroids called Dimorphos and Didymos. Dimorphos is the smaller of the two, orbiting Didymos like a natural satellite. It is analogous to the Moon orbiting Earth in an elliptical path—the only difference is that Dimorphos orbits Didymos from a mile away and completes an orbit in only 11 hours and 55 minutes. NASA’s goal is to test whether the launched spacecraft and its on-board technology is capable of deflecting and altering Dismoprhos’ trajectory. This will prove extremely challenging because of the precision required and the novelty of the mission. Didymos measures just half a mile long and Dimorphos measure only 525 feet across—these measurements are drastically different from the hulking planetary bodies typical of NASA missions. Based on scientists’ calculations, the space probe will visit the two asteroids between September and October of 2022. NASA’s methods involve maneuvering the spaceship, which weighs approximately 1,200 pounds and is the size of a small car, to initiate direct impact with Dimorphos. The

spacecraft will orbit Earth many times, using a solar panel and an electric thruster to accelerate and achieve the velocity needed to escape orbit. Onboard the space probe, DART has a high-resolution camera called DRACO, which is used for navigation. The space probe also features an advanced guidance and control system that works in tandem with algorithms called “Small-Body Maneuvering Autonomous Real Time Navigation” (SMART Nav). This algorithm will identify Dimorphos and direct the space probe toward it. Just five days before the impact, the CubeSat camera, which was built by

tested and perfected it. This mission will provide important information to prepare for future emergencies. The $324 million DART mission may seem unusual for NASA, a civilian agency that focuses mainly on exploration, climate monitoring and hunting for signs of past life in our solar system. Though NASA occasionally works with the U.S. Department of Defense, the organization has not traditionally been responsible for efforts involving the protection of planet Earth. This mission is NASA’s first venture into planetary protection. The reason behind this new and unconventional space project can be traced back to 2005, when Congress assigned the agency the imperative of protecting the planet from dangerous objects that orbit the sun. Since then, NASA’s Near-Earth Object Observations Program has kept vigilant watch over asteroids that are in close proximity with the Earth—close enough that they could potentially cause catastrophic damage. The program works by tracking and cataloging asteroids larger than a football field in close proximity with the Earth. Related to these aims, NASA set up the Planetary Defense Coordination Office in 2016, which collaborates on asteroid tracking and notifies the Defense Department and Federal Agencies of any threats. The DART mission represents another example of NASA embracing its role in conducting research and ensuring the protection of planet Earth. This mission could give NASA a confirmed planetary-defense weapon, but more importantly, introduces

the possibility of nuclear weaponry in space. Scientists have proposed that blasting incoming asteroids or large debris may be more effective than using the kinetic energy of a spacecraft alone. In fact, a nuclear explosivetipped spacecraft may not be too far into our future. However, if this idea were to be implemented, it would change the way we wage war and may become a serious threat to national security in the future. Though the Outer Space Treaty essentially bans nuclear weapons from being deployed in space, the terms of the treaty could be resolved in an emergency United Nations meeting if necessary. Moreover, NASA may conduct similar missions in the future to collect more information about our solar system. These missions may even allow NASA to collect samples from rogue asteroids. Ideally, the space probe would collect a sample and determine its composition. Asteroids like these are analogous to a time capsule, and could give scientists new insights into the conditions during solar system formation. In addition, some of the asteroids in our solar system have originated from extremely distant places, which means that traces of organic compounds and water may give us clues to other forms of life in the universe. Despite the space probe’s inability to support human life onboard the aircraft, this decreased burden may even allow NASA to test the speed limits of spacecraft engines. The NASA DART mission is just the tip of the iceberg in the future of planetary defense.

Flying Closer to the Future By JOVANNA WU New technologies consistently emerge from the great minds of society, drawing us closer to our visions of the technology-dominated future where flying cars grace the sky. Nevertheless, the enormity of itsthe invention leaves flying cars as nothing more than a figment of our collective imagination. But to the world’s surprise, a company called “The AeroMobil Company” seems to have achieved the impossible. “The AeroMobil Company” was founded in 2010 to release the AeroMobil, their flying car, to the general public. With a prototype ready, the company ran test runs for six months to ensure reliability before finalizing the release of the AeroMobil 4.0 in 2023. The AeroMobil 4.0 is an aerial car withthat contains special features

that sets it apart from its competitors. Featured as a three-seater, the AeroMobil 4.0 can transform between its driving and airborne state in under three minutes. It is powered by a hybrid propulsion system with an internal turbocharged combustion engine, a power system that uses various sources of propulsion and an engine that reuses the exhaust gas, resulting in a high power output of 224 kW. As a result, the model boasts a top driving speed of 160 kilometers per hour and a top flying speed of 260 kilometers per hour. To complement these high specs, the AeroMobil 4.0 is built to guarantee the safety of its pilot and passengers. Patrick Hessel, the chairman of The AeroMobil Company, highlights the company’s main priorities of aesthetics and safety for their customers. The airborne vehicle is structured with integral carbon fiber, a durable

and light material, allowing the car to protect the passengers during takeoff and landing. The AeroMobil 4.0 contains an autopilot setting, along with a Ballistic Parachute System for the vehicle in case of an emergency. The Ballistic Parachute System keeps the vehicle from crashing should an issue or malfunction occur whileen the AeroMobil 4.0 is in flight. Based only on its performance, power, and safety features, the launch of the AeroMobil 4.0 seems to point toward a success. Having an aerial car could solve one of the biggest frustrations on the road: traffic. We’ve all been stuck in crowded lanes that barely inch forward during daily commutes. Not only will flying to a location get you there in style, but it will also get you there on time. The ability to switch settings allows the car to be environmentally

friendly as well. It i's well known that our planet is currently suffering from a climate disaster stemming from emissions, in large part from automobiles. The AeroMobil 4.0 could lead to more roads for pedestrians and bikers. With fewer cars on the roads, the government can shut down car lanes in favor of walking and bike lanes, providing the public with “greener” options. Unfortunately, dreams of flighted commutes remain a fantasy for the foreseeable future due to how inaccessible recreational flight is to the majority of the population. Flying cars don’t come cheap, making their main audience the wealthy. Ignoring the high cost, one also needs to own both a driving and flying license to be able to use this vehicle. It's not common for people to own a flying license, shrinking the potential customer pool.

One of the biggest limitations of the AeroMobil 4.0 is the possibility of malfunction. Due to the fact that flying cars are relatively new inventions, many are still concerned about their true safety capabilities and are hesitant to use them upon early release. After all, a malfunction could be fatal should the car break down or the driver lose control of it. The good news, though, is that these limitations can easily be overcome, and the AeroMobil 4.0 will likely not be released without thorough testing on the manufacturer’s end. The release of the AeroMobil 4.0 at the beginning of next year will bring us one step closer to the future. However, with the benefits and drawbacks of the AeroMobil 4.0, it might be a while before flying cars become mainstream. Even so, this is a huge step toward a futuristic society we’ve been dreaming of for generations.

The Pressing Issue of the Prion By JENNA MACKENROTH Among other macromolecules, proteins are one of the most crucial building blocks of life. They aid in a number of biological processes, such as DNA replication, and are a major component of the physical human body, forming our hair, nails, and nearly 80 percent of our muscle mass. They also play an important role in the brain, where they form connective tissue and aid in a number of neurological processes. The consequences are terrifying, then, when a slight folding mistake alters one protein entirely. Enter prions, or infectious, misfolded proteins. Their altered conformation gives them a number of frightening features, including but not limited to the ability to induce other proteins to misfold. The nonpathogenic version of a prion is a 250-amino-acid-long “proteinaceous infectious particle” (PrP), whose misfolding is centrally involved in the transmission of all known prion diseases. As with all biological macromolecules, the prion is a prime example of the link between molecular structure and function. With an unaltered structure, PrP can carry out its biological processes without fail.

Spontaneous mutations affecting the genes that code for PrP directly affect which amino acids are used to synthesize the protein. This shift in the fundamental formation of PrP leads to an avalanche of molecular effects which eventually culminates in a dangerously misfolded infectious protein—a prion. This prion is responsible for the classic Creutzfeldt-Jakob Disease (cCJD), a progressive genetic neurodegenerative disorder. Variant Creutzfeldt-Jakob Disease (vCJD) is essentially the human version of mad cow disease. Both neurodegenerative diseases are classified as transmissible spongiform encephalopathies and result in the accumulation of prions in the cerebrum and the cerebellum, parts of the brain responsible for sensory and motor coordination, balance, and higher cognitive processes. The deadly protein beta-amyloid (characteristic of Alzheimer’s Disease) also forms fibers as it polymerizes and aggregates into plaques. In both Alzheimer’s Disease and CJD, patients progressively lose their cognitive abilities as the amyloid fibers disrupt brain tissue and connectivity. This also gives the patient's brain the characteristic “spongy” appearance. Both forms of Creutzfeldt-Jakob

Disease are fatal, with most victims dying approximately one year after contracting the prion. Sporadic CJD is responsible for approximately 85 percent of all cases, where a person has no known risk factors for the disease. The remaining 15 percent of cases occur as a result of inherited mutant variants of the PRNP gene responsible for CJD and consumption of beef contaminated with mad cow disease. Person-to-person transmission of the disease is rare and the primary cause for the spread of prions is through contaminated medical equipment. Prions have historically been transmitted through medical equipment such as neurosurgical tools, corneal grafts, growth hormones, and human dura matter (the tough outer membrane of the brain that protects softer inner tissue). Thankfully, each of these recorded cases occurred before 1976, the year when sterilization standards were implemented in all healthcare practices. Despite the adoption of sanitization methods, the transmission of prions through medical equipment introduces another of the prion’s frightening traits: they are extremely stable. In order to effectively neutralize prions, they must be denatured, with their unique folding pattern disrupt-

ed to the point where they cannot continue to transmit their conformation onto other healthy proteins. Protein folding is organized by several structural classifications such as primary and secondary structures. The primary structure is a protein’s amino acid sequence while its secondary structure is formed by hydrogen bonds between those amino acids, taking the form of alpha helices, visually described as curls, or beta pleated sheets. The folding of prions, however, is such that their alpha helices and beta pleated sheets render ordinary methods of denaturing proteins useless, and they remain transmissible even after exposure to conditions that would denature normal proteins. A study performed on sheep infected with the TSE disease scrapie indicated that after 16 years, the scrapie prion remained highly infectious. A hallmark of the prion’s unique conformation is its resistance to proteolysis, or the destruction of protein structures. The most reliable method of destroying prions is exposing them to nearly 1,000 degrees Celsius of heat, with any exposure below 600 degrees allowing the prion to maintain low infectivity. Such high temperatures are unsustainable and typically inaccessible to those who

need to eradicate prion exposure. One of the proposed solutions for removing prions involves destroying the expensive heat-resistant equipment. However, this method of preventing transmission is not the most cost effective. The cleaning solutions specified for destroying TSEs on surgical equipment—namely, sodium hypochlorite and sodium hydroxide—often release toxic fumes and corrode the equipment. Thus, they too are not the most effective methods of preventing transmission. Despite the relative rarity of prion diseases, their progressive, incurable, and misfolded nature are of interest to scientists. Their unique structure compels scientists and researchers to focus more on proteins, studying the relationship between their structure and function to explore questions about their ability to transfer their conformation to healthy proteins. Studying the mechanisms of prion diseases also gives insight into protein folding as a whole, giving researchers an opportunity to develop treatments for other protein-based diseases like cystic fibrosis. Research on prions is still in its infancy, but as it progresses, we are sure to understand one of the building blocks of nature better than ever before.

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The Spectator ● December 22, 2021

Arts and Entertainment 2021 Fashion: A Year in Review

Fashion

items and diminishes their history. In a perfect world, everyone would purchase sustainable items from small businesses, but there are issues in the sustainable clothing market that prevent this. Sustainably made clothes tend to be much more expensive than buyers are used to, and as trends change, people are not willing to purchase a costly item that may be out of style in a few months. However, with the recent surge in personal

As the world reopens this year following COVID-19, the fashion industry has seen an emergence of new trends. Many people developed a personal style during quarantine and have continued to refine it this year. Recently, fashion has been heavily driven by social media. Inspiration may come from well-established Instagram influencers like Emma Chamberlain, or other minor TikTok influencers. Even FIT students share fashion tips with the world. This year has also been a major intersection of fast and vintage fashion. Certain vintage pieces or styles are resurrected and then trickled down the fashion chain, beginning with high end brands and ending with mass production through fast fashion. Companies like Shein mimic other brands and trends, though the clothing is cheap in both price and quality. The ease of fast fashion, combined with the popularity of thrifting and the current fad of being sustainable, make for a versatile array of outfits. One popular designer revived in the past year has been Jean Paul Gaultier, whose iconic mesh shirts and graphic prints fit right into the re-emerging 2000s era style. Wearers often pair his shirts with other high-end pieces to complete the look. However, due to the high quality and subsequent high cost of his items, websites like Shein often distribute cheap replicas. They market their clothes so that average shoppers can afford a quick dupe. Though this is a solution in the short term, it also decreases the value of the original

Film By ROXY PERAZZO “Licorice Pizza,” Paul Thomas Anderson’s newest film, revives the ‘70s spirit many know and love. Combining a timeless coming-of-age tale and an eraspecific aesthetic, the film draws a modern audience into the dreamy world of southern California in the early 1970s. With both comedic and dramatic storylines, Anderson puts a realistic yet charming spin on an era that is often overdone. The film centers on 15-yearold Gary Valentine (Cooper Hoffman) and 25-year-old Alana Kane (Alana Haim) who meet in the opening scene—picture day—where Alana is a photographer’s assistant and Gary a high school student. The pair’s age difference makes for an awkward encounter when Gary asks Alana to accompany him to dinner. Despite her initial protests, she meets him at a local restaurant where the two click. The pair have their ups and downs, making the film excellently dramatic without forsaking its comedic elements. Alana’s quick wit paired with Gary’s simultaneous awkwardness and confidence give the film all the makings of a coming-of-age comedy while allowing for more serious plot points to shine through. Though Gary is the younger of the two, his mature personality creates an interesting dynamic between them where Alana often feels the need to prove herself to him.

ly, baseball hats are no longer just for the field. They can add depth and layers to any outfit, allowing shoppers to play around with different styles, colors, and materials to find the perfect match. The accessories someone chooses, often sourced from small designers as opposed to mass manufacturers, have become a great way to express personality in small ways. As people become more aware of their ecological foot-

Jaden Bae / The Spectator

By IVY HALPERN and ADELE BOIS

style, timeless items have once again become popular, and people are exploring different ways to make a trend their own. Hopefully, the development of personal styles will decrease the need for a constant wardrobe change, allowing for fewer purchases in the fast fashion industry. Accessorizing has also become a great way to put a unique spin on an otherwise simple outfit. This year, colorful, chunky, clay-looking rings have become trendy, contrasting the simple and dainty jewelry of the past. Similar-

print, many look for new ways to incorporate old pieces into their outfits. Items like old leg warmers and puffer jackets or vests that once seemed like exclusively winter pieces have now been reused year-round as perfect layering items and can be seen all over Pinterest. Even your grandfather’s old patterned sweaters can be incorporated into modern-day trends. Following TikTok and YouTube tutorials, some fashionsavvy individuals have also taken to buying ill-fitting clothes or ugly pieces at thrift stores and then

“flipping” them into a popular look. Crochet shirts and skirts have become widely popular for their colorful, eccentric look and uniqueness. Though some styles may not be for everyone, it is a step toward making fashion on a smaller and longer-lasting scale. In recent years, choosing footwear has become a lot more deliberate. We can no longer resort to white tennis shoes when leaving the house. The popularity of boots is increasing immensely and different types of boots have gained traction. In 2021, Doc Martens had a huge revival; their versatility and classic look appealed to many different styles. This style of “chunky” shoe progressed into the summer with chunky sandals and the infamous FILA sneaker reaching a huge fanbase. Those who were looking for another unique style turned to work boots and vintage cowboy boots, as well as knee-high boots, which were synonymous with the “off-duty model” trend. Many trends this year continued from last year—take low rise jeans for example. Fashion is cyclical, as seen with reemerging ‘90s and ‘00s outfits, but that doesn’t mean that each piece has to be. The benefit of living in such a modern world is that we have the ability to take fashion into our own hands and put a personal spin on it rather than relying on big corporations and factories exclusively. Though we may not be completely sustainable in the near future, taking individual steps away from supporting fast fashion has already started a global movement and a trend that will hopefully flourish in the new year.

“Licorice Pizza”: Inexplicably Tasty Thus, she pursues more serious career paths, eventually working in a campaign office and making Gary feel like she is leaving him behind. As a result of Gary’s feelings toward Alana’s success, much of the conflict in the film stems from the age difference between the two leads. Gary acts like an adult—he owns his own business and is acquainted with many of the businessmen in his town though he is clearly still a minor. On the other hand, Alana can’t seem to grow into true adulthood and settle down. She still lives with her family and has a job she doesn’t want, working for an often crude boss and surrounded by teenagers all day long. Alana recognizes that the dynamic between her and Gary is fundamentally strange but still takes part in their relationship. Though the relationship does not become sexual, it still makes for an often uncomfortable dynamic. While Alana is likable and easy to sympathize with in many ways, it’s hard to fully commit to her character while acknowledging her relationship with Gary. Despite the inherently off-putting nature of the pair, the writing capitalizes on the awkwardness by implementing comedy into their dynamic, like when Gary orders two Cokes at a bar or calls Alana an “old lady.” “Licorice Pizza” is the debut film for both Haim and Hoffman, Philip Seymour Hoffman’s son. Not only is Cooper Hoffman following in his father’s

footsteps in that sense, but Philip Seymour Hoffman also had a role in the film “Almost Famous” (2000), which explores the music world and groupie culture of the ’70s. However, family connections are not unique to Hoffman, with Haim’s real parents and sisters playing themselves in the film. Consequently, the family dynamics portrayed come off as hilariously realistic, with all of the perfect insults and remarks that come with them. Despite Hoffman’s young age and Haim’s musical background, the two command the screen even with a prolific side-cast. When featuring the likes of Bradley Cooper, Sean Penn, and Maya Rudolph, the focus never shifts away from Haim or Hoffman. With compelling performances and an engaging story, the only piece left to fit the complete aura of the era is the cinematography itself—and “Licorice Pizza” does not fall short. Shot on 35mm film, the film has the authentic look of ‘70s movies, effectively bringing the full tale into the modern day. The use of film preserves the authenticity of time-specific themes within the movie by aligning them with the look itself, from the way the camera catches the light to the way it makes the color-scheme stand out. From more technical elements like the set design to the family dynamics portrayed, the film is a nostalgia trip. Despite the film’s romantic, nostalgic atmosphere, “Licorice Pizza” doesn’t glamorize the ‘70s,

instead it offers a complex, nuanced perspective on the time period that most films fail to. While it is easy to get lost in the haze of the time, the film does not shy away from the less aesthetic culture of the time, rather, it becomes a central focus. Along with cultural critiques, the film also grounds itself in real events of the time, with a major turning point of Gary and Alana’s relationship being the repercussions of the oil embargo on their business’s success. Though the critiques of the era do give the film some more serious subject matter, they do not take away from the main storyline. The exploration of the less appealing aspects of the ‘70s gives “Licorice Pizza” a more practical, well-rounded telling of the time. Throughout its run, the film never loses its charm. Perfectly capturing the groovy feel of the ‘70s, “Licorice Pizza” has just the right amount of nostalgia, drama, and humor, all making for a lively, coming-of-age film. “Licorice Pizza” is easy to appreciate because it feels like real life: despite all that happens, the story always comes back to Alana and Gary’s relationship. Though the premise of their relationship and therefore, the film, has the risk of overshadowing the rest of the film with an uncomfortable feeling, “Licorice Pizza” instead turns it around and gives back a funny and genuine tale of camaraderie.

Playlist Dancing with a Drummer Boy By THE ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT DEPARTMENT It’s that time of year again! Jingle bells are ringing, snow is falling, and (most importantly) holiday music is playing. While the likes of “Jingle Bells” and “Deck the Halls” have a timeless charm, it never hurts to mix up your holiday playlist. A&E has compiled a list of classic and not-so-traditional songs for all of your winter festivities.

Run Rudolph Run Chuck Berry Rock Don’t Shoot Me Santa The Killers Indie rock Christmas Saves the Year Twenty One Pilots Alternative Lights On Tyler, the Creator Hip-hop Day After Tomorrow Phoebe Bridgers Rock …At The Holiday Party St. Vincent Alternative HOLIDAY Lil Nas X Hip-hop Snowman Sia Pop Fa La La Justin Bieber, Boyz II Men R&B/Pop (Not So) Silent Night Kacey Musgraves Country My All Mariah Carey Pop R&B Underneath the Tree Kelly Clarkson Pop Last Christmas Lucy Dacus Pop Punk

The Spectator ● December 22, 2021

Page 19

Arts and Entertainment “Money Heist”: Firearms and Fake Gold?

Television

Music By SAMIRA ESHA and JULIE GRANDCHAMP DESRAUX The 2022 Grammy Awards is officially set to air on January 31, and the competition, as usual, is fierce this year, especially in the top four categories. In addition to internal changes in response to criticism of underrepresentation and “rigged” awards, the Grammys this year are headed by a new CEO, Harvey Mason Jr. Here are A&E’s predictions in hopes that the Grammys will award the artists who truly deserve it. Record of the Year I Still Have Faith In You by ABBA Freedom by Jon Batiste I Get A Kick Out Of You by Tony Bennet & Lady Gaga Peaches by Justin Bieber ft. Daniel Caesar & Giveon Right On Time by Brandi Carlile Kiss Me More by Doja Cat ft. Sza Happier Than Ever by Billie Eilish Montero (Call Me By Your Name) by Lil Nas X (predicted winner) drivers license by Olivia Rodrigo Leave The Door Open by Silk Sonic Lil Nas X continues to top charts with “Montero (Call Me By Your Name),” which was the cause of major controversy this year, especially with its accompanying music video. Lil Nas X’s depiction of himself as Satan in response to his identity as a gay man being scrutinized, as well as his lyrics embracing his sexuality, were at the forefront of the discussion. The unwarranted criticism of this song took the spotlight away from the song’s quality, which includes impressive production and lyrics that commemorate the LGBTQ+ community. Alongside the addictive chorus and opening verses, the lyrics are unapologetic and courageous coming from a Black, queer art-

unscathed, while 90 tons of gold plated brass replace the national reserve. Revealed during the last few minutes of the finale, this ingenious move pulled from seemingly nowhere fixed all the problems caused during the heist. The

pacing worth it, as the Professor and the robbers walk out of the bank of Spain with the real gold

suspenseful build-up to this big reveal leaves audiences satisfied and pleasantly surprised at the

show’s finale. Another highlight of the show is its strong character writing. While the core cast starts out as selfish fugitives granted refuge under the care of the Professor, they evolve into a family willing to stake their lives for one another, going as far as robbing Spain’s national bank to save one of their own. Specifically in this season, watching the robbers support one another and mourn for the deaths of their friends increased the audience’s engagement with the characters, rooting for them despite their immoral actions. Though their exact situation may not be relatable, their struggle against an unfair capitalistic system is. This gives the characters an extra dimension, making them all the more interesting to watch. One of the other notable aspects of the show is its cinematography. Though mostly set in Spain, this season contains flashbacks of the Professor’s and his brother’s lives, taking us through scenes in France, Italy, Denmark, and other countries in Europe. Each scene is beautifully shot, masterfully showing the architecture and history of major cities with wide, panning shots. Along with these attributes also comes the shift in the show’s agenda. What started as a suspenseful, thrilling, story about

burglars in jumpsuits, evolved into a provocative statement about anti-capitalism, left-wing revolutions, and Spain’s economic difficulties. The show’s heist isn’t only a form of retribution, but it’s also a statement against the oppressive Spanish government that tortures one of the robbers after capturing them. In real life, this stance against capitalism and support of the working class inspired protests across the globe as people called for police abolition, anti-authoritarianism, and liberation. Overall, this season provides a satisfying ending to this international success. Not only is the scale of their robberies on an entirely different level than famed classics like “Ocean’s Eleven” (2001), but the manner in which the characters, storyline, and visuals also interact to provide a thrilling, fresh rendition of a heist series. Combined with their message of liberation for the working class that resonates with millions, it’s no surprise that this foreign show has gained so much attention across the world. Though the show has come to an end, “Money Heist” has subverted our preconceptions of foreign shows, shining a light on many other international productions and leaving the door open for more innovation in television.

A&E’s 2022 Grammy Predictions ist, making it one of the most notable records of this year.

iel Caesar & Giveon Right On Time by Brandi Carlile

be a surprise to see Rodrigo take this Grammy home.

Album of the Year We Are by Jon Batiste Love For Sale by Tony Bennett & Lady Gaga Justice (Triple Chucks Deluxe) by Justin Bieber Planet Her (Deluxe) by Doja Cat Happier Than Ever by Billie Eilish Back Of My Mind by H.E.R. Montero by Lil Nas X SOUR by Olivia Rodrigo (predicted winner) Evermore by Taylor Swift Donda by Kanye West

Since its debut at number one on the Billboard Top 100, “drivers license” has been praised for its songwriting. Rodrigo’s skill within this song garnered comparisons to her long-time inspiration and veteran songwriter Taylor Swift. Rodrigo’s vulnerability and storytelling are captivating, proven by the thousands of girls across social media who related to Rodrigo’s emotional breakup lyrics. This category in particular has historically been awarded to passionate pop ballads, making it all the more likely that Rodrigo takes the award.

Best Pop Vocal Album Justice (Triple Chucks Deluxe) by Justin Bieber Planet Her (Deluxe) by Doja Cat Happier Than Ever by Billie Eilish Positions by Ariana Grande Sour by Olivia Rodrigo (predicted winner)

It’s hard to have lived through this year without having heard about Olivia Rodrigo’s debut album “SOUR.” Though it was her first, the album was No. 1 on official charts and became the most-streamed album of the week after it was released. Her hit song “drivers license” even broke Spotify streaming records, enhancing the anticipation for her album. Once released, “SOUR’s” tracks about insecurity and anxiety resonated with millions globally, taking over sounds on TikTok and other social media platforms. Though “Planet Her” and “Evermore” are stronger lyrically and production-wise, “SOUR’s” popularity was almost impossible to avoid this year, making it a front runner for Album of the Year. Song of the Year Bad Habits by Ed Sheeran A Beautiful Noise by Alicia Keys & Brandi Carlile drivers license by Olivia Rodrigo (predicted winner) Fight For You by H.E.R. Happier Than Ever by Billie Eilish Kiss Me More by Doja Cat ft. Sza Leave The Door Open by Silk Sonic Montero (Call Me By Your) by Lil Nas X Peaches by Justin Bieber ft. Dan-

Best New Artist Arooj Aftab Jimmie Allen Baby Keem FINNEAS Glass Animals Japanese Breakfast The Kid LAROI Arlo Parks Olivia Rodrigo (predicted winner) Saweetie With the release of “Sour,” Olivia Rodrigo’s popularity skyrocketed as hits like “drivers license,” “good 4 u,” and “deja vu,” topped Billboard charts and took over social media. The star’s popularity is all the more impressive as her debut album w a s o n e of the l o n gestreigning number-one albums by a female artist this year. As Hollywood’s newest “It Girl,” it won’t

Sophia Li / The Spectator

On December 5, Netflix released the final episodes of “Money Heist,” putting an end to the Spanish sensation that shocked millions of viewers. Many never expected the show, as a foreign production, to find as much success as it did in the United States. However, the nail-biting plot and keen political commentary have more than propelled “Money Heist” to the top of Netflix’s charts. Part two of season five picks up directly where part one left off, putting an end to the robbery of Spain’s national gold reserve. The episodes follow the nine remaining robbers as they attempt to get 90 tons of gold out of the bank of Spain without being killed by countless military troops stationed outside. “Money Heist” has been praised for its heart-wrenching plot twists, keeping viewers on the edge of their seats as the plot unfolds. While this season does not fall short in its subversion of expectations, some of its twists aren’t fleshed out enough and lack build-up or resolution. When fanfavorite characters like Nairobi (Alba Flores) and Tokyo (Úrsula Corberó) die while fighting for their comrades, people expected

there to be some homage to their deaths. But, the story doesn’t stop for a second, leaving these events hanging in the air and detracting from their emotional weight. However, the show’s ending makes this season’s rushed

Chloe Huang / The Spectator

By JULIE GRANDCHAMP DESRAUX

While this Grammy deserves to be given to either Ariana’s “Positions” or Doja Cat’s “Planet Her”, the Grammy’s aren’t known for awarding critically successful albums, but rather commercially lucrative ones. It’s no secret that Ariana has one of the best voices in our generation, making “Positions’’ an obvious front runner for this award. Doja Cat has the most variety of any nominated artist we’ve seen, performing a multitude of genres with amazing vocals each time, also making “Planet Her” a solid choice for this Grammy. However, given the Grammy Awards’ track record, it’s most likely that they’ll pick “Sour’’ since it gained the most populari t y and was the sixth-biggest selling album in 2021. Though vocally, there are better options, “Sour”’s stardom this year can’t be underestimated when predicting the Grammy’s winners. Best Rap Performance Family Ties by Baby Keem Featuring Kendrick Lamar Up - Cardi B M Y . L I F E by J. Cole Featuring 21 Savage & Morray Thot S*** by Megan Thee Stal-

lion (predicted winner) As the artist who swept the rap categories in 2021, it would come as no surprise if Megan Three Stallion won once again. Though J. Cole and Baby Keem would be the front runners if this category was awarded solely on lyrical talent, the Grammys tends to favor popularity over lyricism and “Thot S***” was the biggest song in this category, especially through its virality on TikTok. Though Kendrick Lamar has taken home this award numerous times in previous years, it was during the peak of his career, and Megan is just getting started. Best Rap Album The Off-Season by J. Cole King’s Disease II by Nas Call Me If You Get Lost by Tyler, The Creator Donda by Kanye West (predicted winner) With Drake’s withdrawal of his nomination in this category, Kanye West’s “Donda” will most likely be the winner of this Grammy. The album broke the record for the most streams in one week this year and saw major sales immediately after its release. While J. Cole stands as the better lyricist, Kanye West’s name alone is practically enough to sway the Recording Academy’s voting members. Compared with other nominees, “King’s Disease” didn’t reach the same level of popularity the other nominees did. Despite that, it wouldn’t be surprising to see “Call me If You Get Lost” take this award home. Though unlikely, Tyler, The Creator’s success has increased with each album. However, the artist has spoken out multiple times about being placed in “rap” categories for award shows as he feels that he is lumped in because of his race rather than his music. It’s most likely though that this year, Kanye West will take his 22nd Grammy home.

Page 20

The Spectator ● December 22, 2021

rt a Music By MORRIS RASKIN and SHIVALI KORGAONKAR Music can often be a sign of the times. When 2020 kicked off with Justin Bieber’s critically abhorred single “Yummy”, the world immediately began having doubts about how the ensuing calendar year would go. Accordingly, 2021 has truly been a mixed bag. While the year saw some artists breathe fresh air into a variety of genres, it also saw others stoop to new lows of creative bankruptcy (we’re looking at you, Drake). However, through all the noise, a choice few artists were able to hone their craft and produce cohesive, formative, and impactful bodies of work. From Arlo Parks to Vince Staples, here were the 10 best projects from the past year. 10. “Collapsed in Sunbeams” by Arlo Parks In her debut album, Arlo Parks uses acoustic sound and a soothing voice to touch on timely world issues. Her breakout single, “Hurt,” describes a struggle with mental health, sung with intention over a comforting beat. She asks her audience, “Oh, wouldn’t it be lovely to feel somethin’ for once? / Yeah, wouldn’t it be lovely to feel worth somethin’?” At only 21 years old, Parks is unafraid to tackle underrepresented difficulties in romance. On “Eugene,” she sings, “I kind of fell half in love and you’re to blame / I guess I just forgot that we’ve been mates since day,” describing the complexity of queer relationships––especially those between close friends. Parks makes her audience feel heard and embraced with her warm words throughout the 12 tracks, a difficult task to achieve in a debut album. While most of the album floats in an acoustic, airy territory, Parks also explores funkier tones with songs like “Bluish” and “Green Eyes.” And when the album’s over, Parks leaves listeners better off than before. “Collapsed in Sunbeams” is a beautiful listen––a sonic daydream full of harsh realities. 9. “MONTERO” by Lil Nas X For the past three years, every article, review, and feature to mention Lil Nas X (Montero Lamar Hill) has inevitably begun with an admission of shock over the 22-year-old rapper’s continued relevance in a music world that seemed poised to chew him up and spit him out. But Nas X’s underdog success story has been rehashed quite enough––at this point, it’s better to face the facts: Lil Nas X is here to stay. As such, an infectious sense of triumph seems to punctuate every moment of the Georgia rapper’s debut album. The most explicit example of this exultation is found on “INDUSTRY BABY,” a song that gave Hill his third number one hit on the Billboard Hot 100 chart. On the track, Lil Nas X and rapper Jack Harlow trade verses, patting themselves on the back over a massive collection of horns and swamping 808 basses. But Lil Nas X’s celebration isn’t always as front and center as on “INDUSTRY BABY”–– rather, it manifests in the experimentation that Nas X has the courage to make. Tracks like “AM I DREAMING,” “SUN GOES DOWN,” and “TALES OF DOMINICA” see Hill grappling with more substantive lyrical con-

terta me t A Year in Review: 2021’s Best Albums tent––his mother’s alcoholism, his sexuality, and his troubled childhood––to remarkable effect. These moments of self-reflection spread between danceable anthems and victory laps give the album a depth that separates Nas X from so many of his peers. As Lil Nas puts it on “INDUSTRY BABY,” “I ain’t lost since I began.”

lovesick anthems for a lonesome post-quarantine world, chock full of quotables about idealizing a romantic partner. Sonically, Snail Mail expertly traverses over the full palette of indie stylings established by her and her peers in recent years. Songs like “Mia” see Jordan lamenting over soft strings and hushed strums, while tracks like “Ben Franklin” see a sardonic Snail Mail lashing out over feedback-ridden guitars and a pounding drum line. Whether she’s gliding over glossy synths or airing out her frustrations on top of pealing basslines, Snail Mail has a true mastery over her lane of indie rock.

8. “Vince Staples” by Vince Staples Clocking in at only 22 minutes long, “Vince Staples” sees the eponymous rapper coasting through a rapid-fire selection of smooth beats and witty punchlines. The album, produced by Staples’s longtime friend and collaborator Kenny Beats, carries a 6. “Sometimes I Might Be consistent sway that makes each Introvert” by Little Simz song easy on the ears. Little Simz’s fourth stuAdhering to the self-titled al- dio album, “Sometimes I Might bum formula, “Vince Staples” Be Introvert,” raises the bar for sees Staples at his most auto- the UK rapper’s already flourishbiographical. Tracks like “SUN- ing career. Over the years, Simz DOWN TOWN” discuss Sta- has set her place among icons, ples’s chaotic childhood, during receiving acclaim from Kendrick which he struggled to find peace Lamar and going on tour with Ms. in a volatile environment. He Lauryn Hill. The rapper’s 2021 efraps, “Then they put us out, we fort showcases Simz’s ability to was sleeping on my auntie couch stay authentic to her unique tone / Then she put us out, stom- while switching up sonics and ach growling, stealing from the themes over 19 tracks. She balRalph’s.” He effortlessly inter- ances empowerment with sorrow twines his syrupy intonation with between songs and even within fraught internal conflict, songs. On “Woman,” Simz appreleaving listeners on ciates women the edge of o f their seats. On the Fo ush eéfeaturing “ T A K E ME HOME,” Staples contrasts a breezy, instrumental soundtrack against a set of haunting lyrics. “When Tina Siu / The Spectator it’s quiet out I hear the sound of those who d i f f e r e n t rest in peace,” Staples raps, never backgrounds, adlosing his unique sense of lyrical miring the strength and light they clarity while depicting the intense display. She sings, “You’ve got reality of his own home. this (woman to woman, I just Instrumentally, “Vince Sta- wanna see you glow),” echoing ples” uses soothing plucks and this album’s theme of appreciathypnotizing percussion loops to ing the underrepresented. highlight weighted commentary This is especially impactful on Staples’s battles with money, coming from a woman in a maleviolence, danger, and fame. It can dominated rap industry, especially be a simple listen to leave on dur- in the United Kingdom. She exing a study session or an intense pands on other barriers she has poetic experience on a long train faced, displaying vulnerability in ride. The choice is left to listeners. “I Love You, I Hate You,” while discussing her ambivalent feel7. “Valentine” by Snail Mail ings toward her absent father. She “Post-rehab, I’ve been feeling raps, “Never thought my parent so small / I miss your attention, I would give me my first heartbreak wish I could call.” / Anxiety givin’ me irregular heart So sings 22-year-old Lindsey rate.” Listeners hear the realisJordan, better known by her stage tic back-and-forth Simz unpacks name Snail Mail, on the second when deciding whether to feel track of her 2021 effort “Val- sympathy toward her struggling entine.” And as this lyric would father or disgust toward his insuggest, Jordan’s rise to fame has ability to stick around. Little Simz been nothing if not tumultuous. bravely tests new sounds across At the tail end of her teenage the entire “Sometimes” and exyears, the star skyrocketed into plores both personal and societal the public eye, had to navigate a dilemmas. sea of prospective record contracts, and became the face of in5. “An Evening With Silk die rock for a new generation. All Sonic” by Silk Sonic of this pressure landed Jordan in “An Evening With Silk Sonic” a rehabilitation facility for over a probably shouldn’t exist. With five month in late 2020, an experience years worth of distance from his that looms over “Valentine”’s last full-length studio album, fans 30-minute runtime. of superstar Bruno Mars were But Jordan doesn’t let her anxiously anticipating a radiostruggles solely define her musi- ready comeback single primed to cal narrative. At its core, “Valen- land at the top of Spotify Editotine” is an album about love (or rial Playlists and Billboard charts a lack thereof). Tracks like “Light alike. What they got was someBlue” and “Madonna” act as thing much better.

“Leave The Door Open”–– the first single from “An Evening”––gave audiences an early taste of the formidable matchup between Mars and collaborator Anderson .Paak (together Silk Sonic). Propelled by silky harmonies, buttery vocals, and crackling chemistry between the two stars, the single was truly indicative of the album’s overall sound and quality. Eight grueling months of waiting later, the full project arrived. At the core of the nine-tracklong romp is a clear love and appreciation for the R&B and soul stylings of the 1980s. Tracks like “After Last Night” (featuring legendary bassist Bootsy Collins and rising funk star Thundercat) and “Blast Off,” slapped basses and sliding guitars usher in a slice of laid-back, groove-heavy nostalgia. Other tracks take the ‘80s homage in a different direction, using screaming brass hits and clanking percussion as a medium for joyful braggadocio and rapid-fire flows. Even though it was a long shot, “An Evening With Silk Sonic” reaffirmed the importance of passion in any musical body of work. Carried by respect and adoration for a genre of years past, Silk Sonic managed to revamp ‘80s funk for a new generation. Hopefully, the duo can serve as a roadmap for artists looking to pull similar stunts in the future; following creative whims has certainly done wonders for Silk Sonic. 4. “Happier Than Ever” by Billie Eilish In her second studio album, Billie Eilish addresses the drastic changes and jarring difficulties that accompany a rapid journey to stardom. “Happier Than Ever” is an astonishing 16-track album that is a far cry from her debut project. With “Happier,” Eilish demonstrates incredible versatility, creating a sonic diversity that is carried across the entire 56-minute run. The album’s core theme is introduced with vulnerability in the album opener “Getting Older,” as Eilish strikes a sorrowful balance between being thankful for her career and antagonized by the pressure it brings. She sings, “I’m getting older, I’ve got more on my shoulders / But I’m getting better at admitting when I’m wrong.” While Eilish has had an objectively unrelatable past few years–– seven Grammys, billions of streams, chart-topping hits––her album’s themes remain grounded, discussing fears in change and social pressures. Eilish also touches on shocking yet real issues that young women face in the hands of abusive men. “Your Power” explores exploitative relationships, and her lyrics hold weight in their truth––each line is carefully constructed to dismantle an issue Eilish has experienced, or is experiencing, as a young woman. The title track of this album alone can silence any doubt spewed toward Eilish’s sheer talent and versatility. The song begins an unassuming ukulele track with a jazzy melody, territory that Billie has traversed before. However, midway through the song’s

5-minute runtime, an electric guitar line gradually picks up, ushering in a more aggressive shift in tone. At its peak, Eilish roars, “And I don’t talk [EXPLETIVE] about you on the Internet,” escalating the song to a rock ballad filled with white-hot rage. In only five minutes, Eilish seamlessly turns a polite sound into a distorted brawl in a way that is completely unique to her. 3. “Home Video” by Lucy Dacus 2021 proved to be a landmark year for the members of musical collective boygenius. Indie superstar Phoebe Bridgers saw her fame balloon to new heights with a string of festival appearances and tour stops. Julien Baker released her critically acclaimed third studio album “Little Oblivions,” which saw her opening up her sound to a more orchestrated effect. But Lucy Dacus took the cake. With intricate storytelling, unparalleled composition, and endless personal effect, the 26-year-old’s autobiographical “Home Video” set a new standard for the modern alternative and indie scene. From the opening chords of “Hot & Heavy,” the project’s introductory track, Lucy Dacus is a storyteller. Throughout the subsequent 11 tracks, she details her childhood development in Richmond, Virginia, from “curse words and empty cups” to escapist fantasies and Vacation Bible School. By the end of the album’s 45-minute run, Dacus has constructed an intricate portrait of herself. Working hand-in-hand with this meticulous personal narrative is a set of painstaking instrumentals, where every strum, pluck, crash, and note feels meditated. Tracks like “Triple Dog Dare” and “VBS” see Lucy flex her full palette of production techniques, beginning with soft chords and gentle tones and closing with tumbling drums and crushing distortion. Other songs, such as “Brando” and “Partner in Crime,” see Dacus taking creative risks, breaking the familiarity of her guitar-driven ballads to diversify her sound. 2. “SOUR” by Olivia Rodrigo At the roar of a car engine and door chime, listeners around the world brace themselves for Olivia Rodrigo’s emotional rollercoaster, “drivers license.” This debut song opened and stayed at number one on the Billboard Top 100 chart for eight consecutive weeks, giving Rodrigo a massive following even before she released her debut album. The now-multi-platinum project boasts 11 tracks that took the world by storm, becoming an unlikely candidate for 2021’s most replayable album. “SOUR” puts words to the mental anguish of modern teenage life, and the love, heartbreak, betrayal, and insecurity that underscores it all. While a breakup narrative stays consistent throughout the 34-minute-long run, there is discernible diversity between the tracks. Rodrigo opens with “brutal,” a fiery rocker that crushes her scornful vocals with layers of distorted guitars and drums. In just the next track, Rodrigo is harmonizing over soft guitar hits and a soaring bass. This sonic diversity continued on page 21

The Spectator ● December 22, 2021

Page 21

Arts and Entertainment Film By SAYANTAN SAHA It’s Christmas Eve. You’re sitting with your family beside the electric fire, lights dimmed, scrolling through movies to decide which would best set the mood for the following day. There’s no end to your options of course—Netflix isn’t picky when defining its genres. So the question remains: what is a “holiday movie?” What about this specific genre stands out from any other movie? It’s a given that the holidays need to make an appearance, but just how much? Is it fair to slap a Christmas Eve setting on what is otherwise an action thriller and call it a holiday film? To make headway on this quest, let’s take a look at potentially the most controversial “holiday film” to date— “Die Hard” (1988). Immediately, the film presents a Christmas Eve setting and holiday-esque music to sell itself as a season special.

Film By LUCIEN CLOUGH From the first shot, “House of Gucci” is decorated with wealth: expensive watches, fitted suits, and beautiful Italian mansions. Directed by Ridley Scott, known for films including “Alien” (1979) and “Blade Runner” (1982), “House of Gucci” illustrates the shifts of power in the wealthy Gucci family as Patrizia Reggiani (Lady Gaga) tries to take control and modernize the Gucci brand, destroying the family in the process. “House of Gucci” marks Scott’s second directorial project of 2021 as his last project “The Last Duel” came out in October and received mixed reviews. While “House of Gucci” built up much anticipation because it was in development for nearly 10 years, it did not have a glowing reception. In “House of Gucci,” Maurizio Gucci (Adam Driver), the son of Rodolfo Gucci (Jeremy Irons), attempts to distance himself from the Gucci family fortune in exchange for a happier and more substantive life as a lawyer. He meets Patrizia and uses her as a gateway into a humbler existence, working at her father’s truck company and living in a modest home. However, Patrizia’s ambition and obvious desire for wealth force him back into the politics of the Gucci family. Patrizia extends her influence all over the company, creating rivalries, putting people in prison, destroying dreams, and crumbling the whole family in her wake. As soon as Maurizio becomes wise to her intentions, it seems to be too late. “House of Gucci” shows him trying to clean up her mess, with constant interfer-

Music continued from page 20

is present throughout the album, which jets between acoustic ballads, pop-punk rockers, and radioready anthems with a clear zeal and appreciation for each genre. While some argue that Rodrigo’s lyricality has the potential to strengthen in meaning and poise, its simplicity is relatable. In “enough for you,” she sings, “I wore makeup when we dated / ‘Cause I thought you’d like me more,” addressing a universally understood feeling of assimilation to a cultural standard. Rodrigo doesn’t need overly flowery

Holiday Movies: What Are They? As such, one would expect the plot to do the same. However, when taking a deeper look, main character John (Bruce Willis) has goals that center around a need to reconcile with family, a theme almost intrinsic to holiday ideals. Of course, this sentimentality is undercut by John’s kill count of 73 and the story’s general focus on a terrorist takeover of a building, but if we squint, in no way does that distract from the holiday spirit, right? Maybe an answer can be found if we address another film under this term—“Home Alone” (1990). This movie is undoubtedly a beloved classic and, as our first contender, also contains the holiday starter pack: setting, music, and a loose incorporation of Christmas ideals. Though these elements seem to be the only overt similarities between these movies, it feels cheap to call them the defining traits of the “holiday genre.” Beyond them, the two movies hardly share common-

ality. In contrast to “Die Hard’s” action-packed intensity, “Home Alone” is foremost a comedy, and a cheesy one at that. The childish violence can offer some easy laughs and a comfortable family viewing, but not much more. That being said, the movie doesn’t strive for anything greater; it serves its purpose well and is timeless for good reason. But for what it is, is it a “holiday movie?” What if we considered another sub-genre altogether, perhaps something within the realm of drama, something like “It’s a Wonderful Life” (1946). First, there’s no better way to classify this film other than a “feel-good” movie. Despite its dark beginnings—a man broken by the hardships of life chooses Christmas Day to end it all—this seasonal classic has earned its title for good reason. Bringing to light the importance of kindness, community, and the little actions that can have profound effects on oth-

ers’ lives, makes for a powerful message over the holidays. People are well aware, considering just how many households watch this film every Christmas. But for all the praise, it’s undeniable that the movie is similar to what is perhaps the first installment in this genre, “A Christmas Carol” (1938). This raises the question: are all “holiday movies,” by definition, cookie-cutter copies of one another? The first full-length feature film of Dickens’s Christmas tale is “A Christmas Carol.” Since then, it has been recreated countless times in various mediums to cash in on the sentimental value it has for so many. Even after all this time, the movie is still touted as the premier holiday staple. Despite this, Scrooge’s tale did little to define the genre that sprouted from it. Naturally, it is no stranger to the holiday starter pack, but it can hardly be argued that subsequent movies include these elements just to fit a definition.

A “holiday movie,” whatever the form it comes in, should gravitate to these elements by nature. The lines which define this genre are still incredibly blurred, but perhaps it’s not so complex. Having scrutinized all these movies for their various underlying holiday elements, it is clear that there are precious few similarities beyond the basics. But one overlooked trait of all these “holiday movies” exists outside of their fictional worlds yet is perhaps the most important connection of all. As you sit with your family, enveloped in that warm embrace of Christmas Eve, the movie that you pick barely matters. No movie truly defines the holidays: any film, whether it’s a cheesy rom-com, a violent action flick, or a slapstick comedy, will serve the purpose for this night. What’s essential is you’re together to watch it, and that’s all you need to answer the age-old philosophical question— “what makes a holiday movie?”

Style Over Substance: A Review of “House of Gucci” ence from people in and outside the family, all trying to claim a portion of the company and its legacy. One would think that the lengthy runtime (more than two and a half hours) would be more than enough to properly illustrate the intricacies of the family dynamics and character intentions, but the film mysteriously fails to pull this off. Everything seems simultaneously too hurried and too drawn out. There are long scenes where the sole purpose is to show the extravagance of the Gucci family, like repetitive meetings in Gucci stores across the world, while we see little of the substance of Maurizio and Pat r i z i a ’s marriage, a main pillar of the film. The first half-hour is dedicated to showing Maurizio and Patrizia meeting and falling in love. However, these scenes feel rushed and confused, so that the viewer is left with no investment in their marriage or proof of their love for one another, making later “heartbreaking” scenes illustrating their divorce predictable. The film hides the actual passion of their marriage but references it as if it’s plain to see. This is seen

throughout the film: complicated relationships are referenced without being substantially developed. From the first scene between Maurizio and Patrizia, it is clear that Lady Gaga and Adam Driver have no chemistry. Though the first encounter is intended to be awkward, it ends up being just uncomfortable due to Gaga’s overacting. This pattern continues throughout the film, as Gaga’s over-the-top approach overshadows Driver’s more subtle and ef-

Julia Shen / The Spectator

fective acting. This is a recurring issue as throughout the film Gaga takes her acting way too seriously without necessarily having the experience and chops off the other actors on screen. Dramatic confrontations

between her and Maurizio are hard to take seriously and are painful for the viewer to endure, as when Gaga throws an overwrought temper tantrum. Similar things can be said for Paolo Gucci (Jared Leto), who is an aspiring fashion designer man-child with a tragic story: he is born into extreme wealth but dies in poverty after being cast aside. Leto’s performance diminishes this backstory, as it feels forced and unbelievable because of his thick, unrealistic, and stereotypical Italian accent. This is a common theme and the largest fault of “House of Gucci”: it fails to find a consistent tone, often forcing comedy where there should really be tragedy. The shuffle between being camped and being serious fails to create a sense of sympathy for the characters, failing to expand on their true motivations and feelings. The postscript that appears at the end of the film feels entirely less somber than it should because the movie didn’t put in the work to help the audience understand the true tragedy of the story. This lack of a consistent tone raises different questions for “House of Gucci,” primarily whether it is a character or plot-driven story. It’s unsuccessful either way, as the characters aren’t fully fleshed out or able

to be taken seriously, and there isn’t a consistent and appropriate tone that effectively and concisely illustrates the plot. Yet while “House of Gucci” falls short on many fronts, there are a few standout aspects, including the visuals. It is evident that Ridley Scott and the production team are masters of creating pleasing aesthetics: each location feels perfectly picked, each outfit creaseless and glamorous, and the color palettes are pleasing. These components combine to create visually stunning scenes whether set on a farm in Milan, the snowy ski hills of Switzerland, or various mansions, chateaus, and apartments scattered across the world. The locations capture the sense of grandeur the movie aims to convey and make for a pleasant watching experience that can help distract from problematic acting. The story is another great aspect of the film. The history of the Gucci company is fascinating, and the film brings out themes of family versus outsiders, the cost of success, the depths of jealousy, and the desire for inner peace. It is because of this that the mishandling of it is all the more frustrating—there was potential for a truly impactful and significant film. Even with its star-studded cast, “House of Gucci” finds itself plagued by overacting, two-dimensional characters, and loss of focus on its most important elements, but finds an ounce of redemption with its impressive visuals and interesting story. This is not enough to save it; the film ultimately fails to deliver a truly impactful ending that would do justice to all of its characters.

A Year in Review: 2021’s Best Albums language and slow-building lyrical schemes to get her point across; if nothing else, she specializes in the art of instant gratification. At only 18 years old, Rodrigo has already had an undeniable impact on the pop world, racking up accolades and taking over the charts. It will be interesting to see whether Rodrigo’s future projects expand on her existing stardom or sink under the high standard set by this breakout debut. 1. “Call Me If You Get Lost” by Tyler, the Creator The phrase “Call Me If You Get Lost” seems at first glance to be an offer of help––should you

find yourself lost, a quick dial to Tyler, the Creator might set you on the right path. However, in the context of the album, the phrase (which is repeated dozens of times across several tracks) takes on an entirely different meaning. “Call Me If You Get Lost” becomes a solicitation for invitation; Tyler might not set you on the right path, but he’ll gladly get lost with you. This wide-eyed approach is present throughout the 16-track run of “Call Me.” Tracks like “CORSO” and “WILSHIRE” see Tyler spiraling through bouts of self-doubt, overcompensating for a myriad of perceived deficits.

Other tracks, such as “RISE!” and “LEMONHEAD” do little more than give Tyler a forum to spit rapid-fire self-aggrandizements. But on an album like “Call Me,” these unsubtle flexes are welcome interjections between the weighty content found on other tracks. Sometimes there’s nothing better than hearing Tyler, the Creator count off his luxury cars over a crushing piano line and explosive drums. The beauty of “Call Me” is found in this balance. Tyler is at his most mature to date on the project while simultaneously revealing more insecurities than ever. The album features the ro-

bust sonic palette that fans have come to expect while also harkening back to his albums of years past. Even once the 52-minute journey is over, it’s clear that Tyler is still just as lost as we are. He just wants somebody to find his way back with. Honorable mentions: “Sling” by Clairo “Little Oblivions” by Julien Baker “30” by Adele “Juno” by Remi Wolf “star-crossed” by Kacey Musgraves “Donda” by Kanye West “Heaux Tales” by Jazmine Sullivan

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The Spectator ● December 22, 2021

Arts and Entertainment Window Display Wonderland In 1874, Macy’s was the first to pioneer the window display tradition for department stores. During their first year, their windows pictured scenes from Harriet Beecher Stowe’s novel “Uncle Tom’s Cabin” representative of the time porcelain dolls. Even then, the windows were used as an outlet for advocacy, similar to Obama’s project with the Saks windows today. However, the tradition of presenting a story on the Macy’s windows has remained. This year, the story chosen was “Tiptoe,” which encompasses the “true holiday spirit.” The story encircles a reindeer who realizes its true dream is to join Santa’s sleigh and help bring everyone joy on Christmas Eve. Currently, these windows are decked with festive lights and modern illustrations, embracing the holiday spirit and tradition. Sak’s windows were especially striking this year. The theme was youthful and unique, as their windows created scenes inspired by children’s art about what they are dreaming of this Christmas. In the corner of the windows was a copy of the original artworks, transformed into

By IVY HALPERN If Michelle Obama spreads her magic on New York City’s holiday windows, then every human must view the windows. The former first lady kicked off New York City’s renowned holiday season in November at the annual Saks Fifth Avenue light show. This year’s Christmas windows are dedicated to the Obama Foundation’s Girl Alliance Opportunity after Saks donated one million dollars. This foundation strives to empower girls worldwide by providing more access to education. At the light show, Obama spoke about their recent efforts in helping disabled girls in Kenya learn to code. In light of the bleak COVID-19 realities reflected throughout midtown, holiday window appreciation is imperative this year. Sadly, in the past few years, three major New York City department stores known for their windows have closed: Barneys, Lord & Taylors, and Henri Bendels. Not only do large window displays help attract potential buyers, they are also a core aspect of New York City’s Christmas season.

By ELEANOR LEUNG It’s that time of year again. Instagram stories are flooded with screenshots of top listenedto artists, frantic texts are sent to friends about being in the “top 0.001 percent of Mitski listeners,” and people either shamefully, or pridefully share their year’s worth of bad music taste and boast about their minutes listened. That’s right. I’m talking about Spotify Wrapped. The infographics and punchy colors that the streaming platform’s “Year in Review” features are instantly recognizable in today’s social media landscape, where millions look forward to seeing their annual music statistics displayed. Yet this year, Wrapped fell alarmingly flat, both visually and content-wise. “In a year like 2021, even your music gets a vibe check.” “While everyone was trying to figure out what NFTs were, you had

they filled their windows with an aesthetic assortment of children’s items, such as skateboards and dinosaurs. With the more sophisticated holiday windows, it is imperative to have a range of windows to relate to many audiences and their differ-

fancy holiday party. The Bergdorf windows are a continuation of the exaggerated, intricate design of the windows on Fifth Avenue. Each window captures a different theme, whether they brim with multicolored birds or colorful

is a liability. He’s going to [EXPLETIVE] kill someone someday.” It is

Baldwin. Having shot the gun that killed Hutchins, there has been

crucial that before anyone touches a prop gun on set, it is thoroughly checked. This is the armorer’s job; if they fail to perform their duties, they endanger themselves and others. The combination of an unsafe work environment and crew members who failed to do their jobs before culminated in a horrific tragedy. However, there is one key person that hasn’t been discussed yet:

much debate about whether he is culpable for her death. Technically, it is not Baldwin’s job to check the prop gun, as the armorer should have gone through and fully cleared it. However, new evidence reveals that Baldwin may have had intent to shoot. In a lawsuit against the actor, script supervisor Mamie Mitchell argued that Baldwin “intentionally, without just cause or excuse, cocked

Laurina Xie / The Spectator

By LIANNE OHAYON

Music

ing interpretations of holiday spirit. These windows still included an adolescent influence as they incorporated games, from cards to bowling and circus acts in the background. The mannequins were especially ornate at Saks as they were beautified with heavy eye makeup and adorned with extravagant wigs, reminiscent of a

dogs and cats along fire escapes, with the latter drawing inspiration from old New York City. Bergdorf takes the holiday theme to an extravagant extreme, with a red and white themed window decorated with candy canes and peppermints, and the wayward clashing color that gives an otherwise completely red and white window a surprising element. Many of the mannequins at both Bergdorfs and Saks featured a variety of mismatched looks from different time periods, from 1920s fashion with masks covering their eyes to the flapper look. Perhaps we are getting a hint of what next year’s fashion may entail, a little Christmas gift for all those fashion enthusiasts. Another notable highlight of the NYC holiday season experience this year is 10 holiday sculptures around Fifth Avenue in the ’50s. Made out of bright lights and shiny materials, these sculptures are a fun added bonus, featuring a taxi, dreidel, teddy bear, and more. During these persistent, trying times in NYC, the holiday windows are a magical respite of holiday cheer and magic.

The Shot Heard ‘Round the World

Film Hollywood stopped in its tracks on October 21 when tragedy struck a film set. Cinematographer Halyna Hutchins was killed and director Joel Souza was wounded on the set of the now-suspended film “Rust” after Alec Baldwin allegedly fired a live round from a prop gun. This incident has since sparked much debate about firearm safety and legal troubles for all those involved. In the days leading up to the shooting, crew members advocated a potential strike in regards to the working conditions on set. Specifically, it was the responsibility of Hannah Gutierrez-Reed, the production’s armorer and daughter of renowned Hollywood armorer Thell Reed, to triple-check the firearm for safety. Gutierrez-Reed had received past complaints about her handling of firearms, which is why it is unfortunately unsurprising that her unthorough firearm checks led to the death of one of her coworkers. Furthermore, assistant director Dave Halls, who told Baldwin that the gun was “cold,” was also responsible for abandoning the proper safety measures on set. One crew member on one of his previous productions even said, “[Halls]

immense creations with moving parts and lights. The windows reflect the digital age we live in, with one of the windows portraying a “gaming Christmas.” These funky window displays are brightened by modern lighting of many colors that visualize a child’s inventive imagination. Bloomingdales had a similar idea, as

Jessica Mui / The Spectator

Art

and fired and loaded gun even though the upcoming scene to be filmed did not call for the cocking and firing of a firearm.” On December 2, Baldwin spoke in an exclusive interview, where he denied all allegations, maintaining that the bullet placed into the gun was not supposed to be on set. “I don’t know what happened on that set. I don’t know how that bullet arrived in that gun. I don’t know,” he said. Baldwin then detailed his day, including working with Hutchins on gun placement. When it came time to fire the weapon, Baldwin explained that he did not pull the trigger. “The trigger wasn’t pulled. I didn’t pull the trigger.” Hypothetically, the gun could have fired mechanically, but the chances of this happening are slim considering the internal safeties that prevent it from going off on its own. The actor, who is also a producer on this film, maintained his distance from the hiring of Gutierrez-Reed throughout the interview. Baldwin acknowledges that she might not have been fit to perform these duties but even if so, he should not be held accountable for that. In the end, Baldwin himself even stated that he doesn’t “give a [EXPLETIVE] about [his] career anymore,” reeling with the trauma

from this incident. Baldwin’s interview was most likely meant to garner sympathy for the actor but ended up seeming like he and his lawyers were trying to dig themselves out of an irreparable situation. Allegedly, he did not shoot with intent as they were performing a scene that required him to cock his gun (contrary to the allegations in the lawsuit against him). But his lack of oversight and accountability when it came to checking the gun before it was shot, like many celebrities who are handling firearms do, led to a fatal error that he actively participated in. At this point, the “Rust” investigation has become a “blame game,” as “The Daily Beast” puts it. Hutchins’s husband, Matthew, has acquired representation, Baldwin is liking posts that shift the blame in Halls’s direction, and GutierrezReed’s lawyers are zoning in on an unidentified crew member who supposedly sabotaged the gun by loading it with real bullets. The public still mourns Hutchins and remains divided on who is responsible for the tragedy. Only further investigation and the results of the legal proceedings will help determine what really happened, but it is clear that this horrific shooting is not the sole fault of one, but that of many.

Spotify Wrapped: Is Graphic Design their Passion? one song on repeat.” Vulture asked which out-oftouch executive had written the captions for this year’s Wrapped, and listeners couldn’t help but ask the same question. For a company whose branding is heavily reliant on being in touch with today’s youth, their attempts at relatability hilariously failed. On top of these cringe-worthy captions, fans on social media also targeted Spotify’s questionable design choices. The controversial top genres page inspired a number of tweets that questioned the illegible typography. Each genre was displayed in rows of bar-graph-style rectangles. Hence, the lengthier genres such as contemporary country were impossible to read. Though the titles were written out again in small Sans-Serif font next to the graphic type, audiences complained that the design lacked functionality and felt lazy. The other notable element of this year’s Wrapped was the dy-

namic ribbon threading through the slides. “The playful ribbon does a good job at creating unique articulations while tying together the work as a whole,” the global head of brand design, Rasmus Wangelin, said. Still, the simple icons and dull colors were far too basic for many critics, who expected more from a global brand like Spotify. Yet some graphic designers came to Spotify’s defense. Product designer Inma Bermejo believes the design was “100 percent intentional, and it’s working out the way they intended.” Bermejo, like many others in the design community, sees the bad graphic design as purposeful. This trend of “ugly design” has been around for years, but Spotify uses it as a clever marketing ploy. As users tear into the design, they generate memes, shares, and buzz; getting Spotify exactly what they want: publicity. It’s no secret that Wrapped is Spotify’s way of boosting engage-

ment and hype with its users. In the end, Wrapped did exactly as intended. The conveniently placed share buttons at the bottom of each slide, similar to Instagram’s story-like aspect, and the bold colors and motifs throughout encourage reposts, screenshots, and shares. This year especially, coupled with the easily memeable content, marked a massive success for Spotify as a company. But does this business strategy excuse lackluster design? As Creative Bolq put it, 2021 Wrapped is a “design nightmare” and the general consensus seems to agree. However, it’s important to consider that design has been shifting toward being intentionally bizarre and ugly for years now. It can be argued that the mastermind behind this year’s Wrapped is trying to push the public perception of graphic design elsewhere. The aesthetic, or lack thereof, of a design is meant to communicate a message. Here, the squished font and ribbon detail-

ing are memorable. It gets pointed out and made fun of. But Spotify’s visual branding leans toward being fun and playful, so doesn’t this fit in? Even the smallest details, such as the awkward splicing of the ribbon, work toward this tongue-incheek attitude of redefining graphic type in the public eye as an art form rather than a practicality. Perhaps this year’s Wrapped was all just a great marketing scheme that everybody fell for: or maybe there was some deeper meaning behind the garish graphic design. Wrapped isn’t built to last lifetimes; it’s meant to last 24 hours on someone’s story before it fades out of existence until another year. In today’s increasingly fast-paced world, content is consumed and thrown out in a matter of seconds. Brands like Spotify are creating content that will be talked about in the short term, and Wrapped is one of the most successful examples.

The Spectator ● December 22, 2021

Page 23

Humor These articles are works of fiction. All quotes are libel and slander.

Home Alone (Stuy Edition) By ABIGAIL JIN, ALEX ZHENG, and OLIVER HOLLMANN

Nada Hameed / The Spectator

It was a restful day before Christmas Eve and freshman Bob found himself struggling to keep his eyes open during his history lecture, held in a particularly stuffy classroom. He wished for his classmates and teachers to disappear so he could take a proper nap. I should not have stayed up all night playing Valorant, he thought to himself wistfully. His grand total of two hours of sleep the previous night was clearly taking a toll on him because once his eyes closed and his body slumped, within seconds, he was long gone… *** Faint sunlight streamed from the windows and Bob jolted up from his desk, blinking fast, looking around to make sure his teachers had not caught him dozing off. He awoke to a very empty classroom. No one––not a single soul––was in there except him. “I made the faculty disappear? I made the faculty disappear!” he exclaimed in an outburst of joy. Coming to his senses, he checked the school clock—9:35 a.m.! Dazed then horrified, Bob realized that the last thing he remembered was falling asleep in class the day before, which meant it was Christmas Eve now. The security guards must have mistaken him for a misplaced coat or a buckling trash can. He hadn’t made anyone disappear… They were all on vacation! He cautiously exited the classroom. Stuyvesant’s hallways were eerily quiet, and it slowly dawned upon Bob that he was the only person in the entire school. The whole 10-story complex belonged to him, and him only. He trembled with excitement because there were so many things he could do! He could slide down the escalators, he could draw on hundreds of different chalkboards, or he could disobey the “NO EATING IN HALLWAYS” signs, all without being yelled at! Heck, he could even explore the

senior bar! The possibilities were endless. Bob’s rebellious freshman heart burned strong. First on his list was to get a good swim in the private swimming pool. However, as he passed by the second-floor entrance, he noticed scuffling noises: the voices of two people and a scraping sound on the doors on the Tribeca Bridge. A muffled voice could be heard from the other side of the quadruple doors. “Are you sure you can open this?” one of the boys asked. “Of course! I got a black belt for breaking down doors,” the other answered.

“You’re funny, but they don’t give out black belts for things that are stupid––except Karate. Karate is kind of stupid.” Bob watched the two boys from inside, making sure he was completely hidden. Though Bob didn’t know why these crooks were trespassing on Christmas Eve, he wasn’t going to directly confront the criminals; he was going to take care of them in a much classier way. “This is my school and I have to defend it myself,” he announced proudly to nobody in particular. “Also, my parents would kill me if they knew I got involved with the

police.” He ran to the nearest classroom, unearthing a stick of Hagoromo chalk, and wrote “BATTLE PLAN” in block letters at the top of the chalkboard. After a quick bout of weighing options, he formulated the ultimate defense. Bob started from the first floor all the way up to the 10th, setting up detailed trap systems on each floor and each staircase to prevent these nefarious individuals from getting to their vile plots. Afterward, he hid in room 103 to watch their progress through the security cameras. As the pair entered, they were quickly met by a life-sized fake security guard (a fencing mannequin dressed in a gym uniform) that sprung out from the scanners. “NO HOODS IN SCHOOL!” a voice boomed over the P.A., startling the two intruders enough that they frantically ran to the two-to-three escalator without looking back. Their efforts to escape were deterred, as the escalator was blocked with tree ornaments! To the boys’ horror, the P.A. blared “ELEVATORS ARE CURRENTLY OUT OF SERVICE. PLEASE TAKE THE FREIGHT ELEVATOR UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE.” The boys looked at each other in shock. “Do you know where the freight elevator is?” one of them asked. “No one does!” “NOOOOOOOOO!” The pair madly made their way to the West staircase, where they were met with an even more disastrous obstacle: each step was covered by hastily graded geometry exams! They carefully made their way up the stairs, sidestepping the low D’s and high C’s that lined the floor. “This kid wrote that a rhombus has three sides. And did this one say that the interior angles of a triangle sum to 360 degrees? I can almost hear the anguish of the math teachers who graded these.” The boys’ bemoaning distracted them from the tripwire-triggered Ferry’s Roma Paninis that slapped them both in the face with a splathunk! “Uh oh,” one said, “I’m cov-

NEWSBEET ered in unreasonably priced novelty food…” Their next step drenched them with a large bucket of ice water and the following bombarded them with a volley of volleyballs. Despite the long series of Bob’s clever tricks (some psychological)–– one of which included flying chalk dust that temporarily blinded them and a row of capless, dried up markers––the two managed to trudge their way to the tenth floor but hesitated in front of the door to room 1031. “Dude, I don’t think it’s safe to go in here! Whoever put all these traps up must be a sick psycho!” “We’ll just be careful. We can’t risk getting seriously injured, or else we’ll be forced to stay in bed for the whole break!” As the two cautiously reached for the doorknob, they heard a suspiciously educational sounding voice coming from the room: “Its abilities don’t come any closer to extraordinary, as the mitochondria is truly the powerhouse of the cell—” The sound cut off, leaving the two in confused silence. “Is that a biology video? It sounded like the Amoeba Sisters!” “Whatever man, you’re such a nerd, let’s just go in.” As they entered the room, Bob ran up behind them and his voice rang out in desperation after realizing his attempts to defend the school were about to fail. “Wait! If it’s money or school supplies you want, don’t rob the school! It’s the PA you want! The PA!” he shouted. The pair of intruders shared raised eyebrows and then turned back to Bob. “We’re just here because we forgot our backpacks in 10th period Mando. But…why are you here?” In abject horror, Bob realized his prodigious mistake. “Well, what’s more Christmassy than protecting the things you love?” he questioned defiantly. The duo began to consider this poignant statement with much thought until one realized:

The Supreme Court deems self unconstitutional, goes on early recess for the holidays. Santa Claus goes to court for vehicular manslaughter and child exploitation. No new COVID cases reported in Stuyvesant community for quite some time... Magic flying reindeer found in the North Pole and seized by PETA for animal abuse. Santa Claus in urgent need of new flying animals. Claus family finds way to evade NORAD’s official Santa Tracker. “Protecting the things you love? You’ve been damaging school property with your traps! Not to mention my feelings!” Shaking his head, the other added, “Also, what kind of sicko loves Stuyvesant? Guy must have some sort of dependency problem.” While the two fervently discussed the ramifications of Bob’s setup and delirium, they hadn’t realized that the child had frantically fled the scene and bolted out the bridge entrance. Bob was running so fast from his humiliation that, before he knew it, he was completely lost in Manhattan. He just needed to find where to take the nearest E train, so he tapped the shoulder of the nearest passerby––a portly old man with corn-husk-like blond hair, dressed in a formal suit and red tie. Bob noticed he had a particularly bad spray continued on page 25

Mass Abduction of Nation’s Milk and Cookies Explained You better watch out; you best start to cry; you best start to pout! And I’m telling you why: Santa Claus is coming to town. After many years of investigation, reporters from The Spectator’s Humor Department have come to the conclusion that the sharp spike in annual cookiesand-milk-nappings from December 24-25 (in an annual phenomenon dubbed “Christmas Night”) can all be attributed to one jolly red man–– Santa Claus. Despite Santa Claus’s countless crimes (with accusations of property infringements and corporate

corruption in the North Pole), his abduction of millions of cookies and milk every year is the foulest of them all. “Normally, I’d tell students ‘that’s just how the cookie crumbles’ in tough times, but in this case, it’s alright to cry over spilled milk,” lead informant Principal Seung Yu said on the case. According to the countless “missing” signs put up across the city, it is clear that this fiend doesn’t discriminate between varieties of cookies and milk: chocolate chip with normal milk, double chocolate chip with chocolate milk, and even oatmeal raisin with soy milk isn’t safe from Santa’s reach.

Principal Seung Yu recalled the arduous process of identifying Santa Claus as the man behind these heinous acts. In the past decade alone, many years of Stuyvesant students have chipped in names such as “S.T. Nicholas” and “Kris Kringle,” which only made the hunt even more confusing with a ballooning pool of suspects. However, Santa Claus was eventually singled out due to one simple reason: he’s the only one smart enough to avoid being caught capturing cookies and milk. Unlike the intelligent Santa Claus, the top contenders for potential suspects were apprehended while wasting energy

on worthless possessions such as

Joanna Meng / The Spectator

By CHRISTIAN KIM

meat pies. In Kris Kringle’s case, the

Stuy Detective Club observed him stealing fruits and vegetables (of all things) from homes. “We felt so bad for the fool, we decided to let him go with a warning,” former Stuy Detective Club President Shorlock Helmes said. Currently, with no luck in catching this elusive criminal, the future of millions of cookies and gallons of milk is frighteningly uncertain, and Principal Yu warns the students of Stuyvesant that “along with doing your winter homework—I mean projects––it is equally important to take special precautions to safeguard your milk and cookies this dreadful season.”

A Holiday Tale for Students Young and Old By CAROLINE PICKERING ’Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the class / Not a creature was stirring, not even the rats. / Communist posters were hung with great care / And the scent of frozen garbage wafted through the air. The underclassmen were enjoying a nice rest in their beds / While seniors had college apps plaguing their heads. / With deans stealing lunches and waking children from naps, / Students complained, “Nah, man, that must be cap.

Up on the 11th floor pool, there arose such a clatter / Principal Yu sprang up from his desk to see what was the matter. / Into the library, juniors flew like a flash / To secure a good study spot, there occurred a mad dash. Fluorescent lights set the windows aglow, / Making everyone’s seasonal depression grow. / But what to our sleep-deprived eyes did appear / But a loud motorbike and a fat man with a beard. Enshrined by vape smoke, causing great applause, / I knew all at once he must be Cool Santa

Claus / Visiting overworked students all over the land / Hoping to spread joy and give a helping hand. “Now Roaches, now pigeons, now cafeteria slime, / Let us give these fine children a wonderful time!” / He called upon his army of holiday creatures / To give us a lesson with the school’s finest teachers. Out of the cracks they all flew to his call / As all the scared students flooded into the hall. / Hiding the backpacks and smashing many a laptop, / Cool Santa put all of the homework to a stop. /

Blasting cupcakKe on all the PA machines now, / The students began to dance gaily around. / He showered them with blessings, like gifts and candy; / All the students thought this was incredibly dandy. They shouted and cheered with the utmost glee / And Cool Santa knew all of their worries would flee. / With his red leather jacket and snakeskin pants / And the inescapable stench of a certain green plant. With a twist of his ring, joyful lights do appear, / And with the tap of his Timbs, he brings

holiday cheer / To young suffering chaps who are in great peril / Of turning into Scrooge from “A Christmas Carol.” Cool Santa’s visits bring everyone a good thrill / Showing all of the students what it’s like to be yass-pilled. / Alas, like everything his time came to an end, / And goodbyes to Cool Santa everyone had to send. He called to the children as he hopped on his bike, / “Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night.”

The Spectator ● December 22, 2021

Page 24

Humor New Grading Policy Encourages Making Freshmen Cry, Delights Upperclassmen By MICHELLE HUANG Another marking period has begun, and with it comes a new grading policy with the potential to reinvent Stuyvesant. The policy states that if a sophomore, junior, or senior makes four freshmen cry, one point is added to their lowest class grade. An overwhelming majority of the student body supported this new policy, stating that it’s an easy way to raise their grades and reduce academic stress. “It’s so easy to make them cry,” sophomore Donald McRadical commented. “The other day, I tripped a freshie, and

they fell face-first in the cafeteria in front of everyone. They burst into tears and practically died of embarrassment. If I keep this up, I’ll pass AP World History.” Donald McRadical isn’t the only one resorting to violence. To many students, it’s a quick and easy way to get a grade boost. The nurse’s office has seen a wild spike in activity following the new policy, mostly due to juniors attacking freshmen in order to look good on college applications. In an e-mail interview, junior John Richington Wellingsworth said, “I only have a 96 in AP Spanish. I’ll never get into Harvard now! Everyone in my family born after

1669 went there. The idea of having to walk amongst the common scum at a college like Dartmouth or NYU makes me queasy. I just had to push those freshmen down the stairs.” Manipulating freshmen’s emotions is another grade-boosting tactic. Their fragility makes this especially effective––if you’re a slacker who wants minimum effort but maximum reward, opt for emotional exploitation. According to one sophomore, who swears by this tactic, “I didn’t actually want to attack the freshie, so I just sent them a photo of me holding a plastic knife. Within seconds they were sniveling and begging for their life over

text. I didn’t think it would be that easy!” At this point in the interview, he proceeded to open PupilPath on his phone and held up the screen to show us his straight A’s. Other upperclassmen hit further below the belt in their emotional manipulation. One freshman told our reporters of an incident where she was texting her senior brother for academic advice. She recounted, “All of a sudden, he just texted ‘u know dad isn’t coming back lol.’ It just came out of nowhere, I was so overwhelmed…” At this point, the student started hysterically crying. Despite the United Nations condemning Stuyvesant on ac-

count of human rights violations for implementing this grading policy, the student body has embraced the change with open arms. Finally, they have something to rally around and participate in together, whether it is the poor freshie that’s crying their eyes out in a bathroom stall or the upperclassman celebrating their straight A’s. Principal Yu himself said it best: “I’ve never seen so many students crying and celebrating together at once. Never before has our school been so unified and open to change. The seniors are actually willingly talking to freshmen! I think we’re really onto something here.”

Pool Colored Green and Red to Increase Holiday Spirit By VIRGENYA ZHU Stuyvesant students are outraged after the Student Union (SU) decided to dye the pool green and red to heighten holiday spirit throughout the school. This catastrophic decision has sent waves throughout the student body and has brought about a slew of terrifying health effects. The primary effect of this bold policy was the plethora of dyed kids that arose. “It’s ridiculous,” said one of the members of the swim team, who asked to stay anonymous. “The dye isn’t washing out of our skin.” Many parents were confused, having thought that their children’s tie-dye phases were over. Some athletes have begun to practice in the Hudson River rather than the school pool. “They’d prefer to risk their chances with hypothermia and the pollution of the Hudson rather than spend one more practice wondering if the green stains will be

permanent,” an anonymous student reported. In fact, they may be justified in refusing to swim in the pool. Many students have mistakenly reported sightings of the Kool-Aid man and the Grinch walking out of the pool locker rooms. All of these reports have since been debunked to be dyed students, including a senior who terrorized a group of freshmen during Swim Gym, asking them what they were doing in his swamp. The next revelation in the saga came last Thursday. A student was seen running out of the pool locker rooms screaming, “IT’S BROWN. THE POOL IS BROWN.” Unfortunately, it seems that over time,

the red and green dyes started mixing, making the water in the pool resemblant of sewer water. There have been protests from the swim team and Swim Gym students alike, with many holding up signs reading, “Is This The Holiday Spirit You Wanted?” Since nobody swam in the pool anymore and a schoolwide boycott had started, health inspectors were called. The health department condemned the pool as a sani-

Sabrina Chen / The Spectator

tary hazard and deemed it unsafe for

swimming. They also brought up the concern that there seemed to be weird barking noises coming from the lockers by the sophomore bar, but students assured them it was just the math team passing by. Art classes have been relocated to the pool instead, instructed to start a new unit: Exclusively Brown Watercolor. Swimmers have been moved to the gym, where they can be seen dutifully running laps while practicing their strokes. The Student Union came out with a statement several days after the condemnation, attempting to explain their reckless actions. “We were not aware of how color theory would affect our plan,” the notes-app apology statement said. The attempted explanation has been met with backlash from art teachers and STC’s prop department

alike, both arguing that this isn’t a matter of color theory at all, but basic common sense, as the dye was distributed in alternate lanes of the pool to begin with, but there was no other separation between the colors. The SU responded that they had never seen swimmers go across the lanes of the pool, so they assumed the dye wouldn’t either. After winter break, the pool will be returned back to its normal state. The remainder of the chemical dye purchased by the SU has mysteriously disappeared, though it is rumored to be an inside job in order to discourage them from trying it again with the showers. Because of the backlash received this year, the SU has vouched to do better next year and redeem themselves. Current suggestions include hiring a mall Santa to hand out failed test scores and reducing the morning announcements to a succinct 25 minutes per day.

Looks Like the Teachers Made the Naughty List By ANJALI KARUNADASA ’Twas was the day before winter break and all the teacher’s spirits were high. They couldn’t wait to take the next few days to “critically examine” their students’ work and effortlessly fail them! But all the holiday joy turned into confusion when they walked into the mailroom to find all their mailboxes stuffed with coal. The Spectator Humor Department’s reporters raced to the scene to get the scoop, and what they found was truly shocking. At first glance, everyone assumed that this was the prank of some unruly student, but after Mr. Moran and Dean Wisotsky reviewed the security camera footage and investigated

the mailroom, things became more baffling. The recordings showed a short, round figure dressed in red and white crashing into the building at 4:20 a.m. through one of the cafeteria windows. The shadowy shape made a beeline for the milk coolers and pulled out a carton of milk. They opened it and proceeded to take a cautious sip, before tossing the carton on the floor in disgust and retreating. The mystery man then proceeded to waddle down the stationary escalators to arrive at the second floor, at which point they opened the large red sack that they were carrying, revealing at least 50 pounds of coal. The figure then noticed the security cameras around the bridge entrance area and Se-

nior Bar and threw sugar cookies at them, rendering them useless. More cookie crumbs were found at the entrance to the mailroom and a scrap of red fabric was found stuck on one of the mailbox edges. After calling Dr. Horenstein’s forensics students down to the scene to help with the investigation, Moran and Wisotsky were able to take fingerprint samples off the pieces of coal. These fingerprints were then cross-referenced with the extensive student database that the Student Union keeps, but no matches were found––whoever broke in was neither student nor staff. It seems that the more we investigate this matter, the stranger it gets. “Another interesting thing

is that we found fingerprints from multiple people. Or at least we think they’re people. The fingerprints are about five times smaller than the average fingerprint size. Honestly, the only thing they could have come from is elves or something, which is ridiculous because elves don’t exist… right?” forensics student Crimi Null said. This series of events evoked a mix of reactions from the teachers. Though most were quite insulted, AP Environmental Teacher Mr. McClellan (who had coal spilling out of his mailbox and extending well into the surrounding room) seemed quite pleased: “This is a great example of bituminous coal. I can give some to the students during class to pass around and look at.

Maybe it will help them get better grades on the 75 question test I’m giving after the break!” Other teachers think that they could perhaps burn their coal to heat their houses. Chorus teacher Mrs. Shamazov did not receive any, but she suggested that the others’ coal could be sold to raise money for the school. And so it was decided that most of the coal would be sold on eBay. The money would be used to fix the window and cameras that were damaged during the break-in, and also buy new Christmas lights for the music department. As for the prankster who left the coal, their identity is yet to be determined, and Dr. Horenstein has offered 15 extra credit points to any student who can figure out who it was.

Spotify Wrapped Roasted 2021 By ESHAAL UBAID ‘Tis the season of sharing your Spotify listening stats to the socials. Some may think that they are very quirky for listening to more than 30,000 minutes of Spotify this year. Well, this author’s at 70k minutes of 2021 listening. Get on my level (I need help). According to the credible sources of “I Said So” and my one friend who takes AP Psych, music can tell you a lot about one’s state of mind. For example, if your lo-fi playlist is playing at 1:00 a.m as you cram study for global… you’re the average emotionally pained high school student! If music is any indication, none of us are truly okay. Here’s an insightful analysis of your personality based on the artists that topped your tunes in 2021—no sugarcoating. If your top artist was missed, then I congratulate you deeply for winning the not-basic award. As for

the rest of you… Olivia Rodrigo Look, I know it was a moment. I know you thought you were the most angsty teenager to ever exist when “good 4 u” came out. But top five on your Wrapped? Come on now––you’re lamenting over a relationship you never had. You took chemistry at Stuyvesant, but you never had chemistry with anyone. Take that rage and depression to fuel your Calculus homework, or you won’t get a prom to be edgy at in the first place. BTS I say this as a four-year fan: if these seven guys were topping your charts this time around, you probably need some serious pandemic recovery therapy. They made a few dozen songs about comfort and not being emo in rough times, and you ate it RIGHT up. You prob-

ably ate the BTS meal at least 10 separate times too. I’m also going to assume that you dabble in toxic positivity and Twitter rants now, in which case, you’ll need to log off and reflect on your character arc, @ jiminmybeloveduwuwuwuwu92839. Take a break from your internet hyperfixations. Maybe shut your phone off. Go on a hike, see the world, or do basically anything that fills your mind with thoughts that don’t surround going to a concert your mom will never agree to. Keshi I will say one good thing––you’re VERY in touch with your emotions. You’re also pessimistic but not in an “oh my god this peanut butter won’t spread evenly on the bread; the universe hates me” kind of way. You’re more apathetic, like, “oh yeah we’ll probably be extinct in 30 years, but that means every little good thing that ever happens now is a sweet

bonus to the baseline.” You live in a fantasy world where no one can tell you what to do and where you are not as forever alone as… well, someone who listens to Keshi’s sick beats at 2:00 a.m. It’s a fabulous concept, really. But in the world-world, you gotta take the earbuds out and face your fears. Try not to let out an ungodly scream when he announces his next collab though—my vocal cords could hardly handle the first time around, and I do not wish to subject anybody else to my unique suffering. Taylor Swift You guys have been hyping this legend up and have definitely cried to the cinematography of one of her music video montages in the past few weeks. However, chances are, you’re absolutely embarrassed by listening to the goddess of feel-good pop for whatever reason. I have yet to hear anyone talking about her

in person, and that is a crime. Rise up. Wear the Swiftie badge proudly. Maybe it’s time to shake off the insecurities based on other people’s judgment and own your cliché tastes. Classics are classics for a reason, and no, Dua Lipa does not count as one, poser. Also, you know how Keshi listeners pretend they aren’t forever alone? You are like that, but proud of it, because it gives you another excuse to stream “You Belong With Me” for the gazillionth time. Just walk the walk and talk the talk! Lil Nas X Oh Lil Nas X listener, you pretend to have the most solid taste in music, but let’s be real: you definitely only learned about the rest of the discography when people online started making obscure references continued on page 25

The Spectator ● December 22, 2021

Page 25

Humor A Whole New World By SARA HELLER I knew something was wrong when I woke up and saw stars. Like, literal stars. They burned my eyes until I thought my retinas would explode, fireworks branding themselves into my eyelids, and then a hand on my back pushed me forward into the darkness. At first, I thought I’d gone blind. Like Alice falling down the rabbit hole, I tumbled through utter darkness. I fell asleep after a while, still falling through that pitch-black void. When I opened my eyes again, I was back in my bedroom as if I had never left. That was weird.

Things got really strange when I arrived at Stuyvesant the next morning. I was taking the escalator to the ninth floor for my first class when it hit me: none of the escalators were broken. I thought maybe it was some kind of fluke, like when the trains actually run on time, but then I saw the luxurious, three-fur couches where the benches used to be. Something was definitely up. It didn’t take me long to work it out: I was in Stuyvesant 2.0. An alien had obviously pushed me through a black hole that led to another dimension. I hurried to my class feeling slightly dizzy like I was walking on clouds. I looked down and saw a thick, red carpet

covering the floor. How did I miss that? I walked into the classroom quickly, trying to escape the strangeness of it all, but came to a halt when I saw the chairs had become bean bags. I tentatively sat on one, half expecting it to transform into Santa’s lap or start granting wishes. But my thoughts and surroundings melted away as I was swallowed up by the unnaturally soft cushion. I came back around when I realized that the wifi actually worked, and I nearly lost it right when I glanced out the window and saw dolphins swimming in the Hudson instead of freshmen that dropped their phones in the drink. And at the end of the lesson, the teacher didn’t give us

any homework, telling us to “take it easy” and “chillax, smiley face.” I got halfway through the day, facing only a couple of other oddities. The gym (yes they actually call it gym here) lockers were big enough to fit a teacher (not that I would ever think about doing that) and there was a Junior Bar?! I swear my brain imploded when I went to get lunch from the cafeteria. From the outside, everything appeared normal, but when I swung open those heavy, metal doors, it was as if I’d stepped into Narnia. The room was so big that I couldn’t see the opposite walls, and the mahogany tables had linen tablecloths draped over them. Candles were suspended in mid-air

and the ceiling livestreamed the sky outside (which would’ve been more exciting if it wasn’t cloudy out). The hot food that day was pizza—real pizza, in the shape of a triangle and everything. Oh, and the bathrooms! There were trays of mints on the sink, and the faucet water was the perfect temperature. The writing on the stalls was all in iambic pentameter, the toilet paper was three-ply, and the paper towel dispenser had been replaced by a handsome stack of reusable cotton towels (with a bamboo refuse bin to match). Yes, life was surely different in this reality… not that I’m complaining.

Stuyvesant Elves Go On Strike! By ANJALI KARUNADASA and MICHELLE HUANG Stuyvesant is a school built on lies and elves. Have you ever wondered where the numerous textbooks that weigh down your backpacks and shatter your spine into tiny splinters come from? Or why their pages are suspiciously stained with tears even though they’re brand new? Or how all your tests are somehow graded in a single homeroom period? Don’t you think that’s a little suspicious? Well, now we know the answer. A small, malnourished Christmas Elf was found wandering on November 26, 2021, around the halffloor yelling “Stwike! STWIKE!” Re-

porters from Spec Humor rushed to the scene to see what was going on and soon discovered a horrible secret: Stuyvesant relies heavily on illegal elf labor! Dozens of poor elves were found working in sweatshop conditions in Stuyvesant’s basement. According to whistleblower elves, the basement working conditions are deplorable. The elves are packed into small cramped rooms with mice and asbestos. The wall paint contains toxic lead, and the ventilation is so poor that seven elves have already contracted COVID-19 (some theories say that the Omicron variant even originated in these horrible halls). What little food is served to the elves is markedly subpar though vastly superior to what is

served to the students in the cafeteria. “The onwy weason we enduwed dese conditions fow so wong was thawt we had tuwu feed ouw famiwies,” one anonymous elf said. “But den ouw youngest ewf Pasta, bwess hiws souw, died of wead poisoning aftew chipped paint fwom the waww feww intwo hiws wunch. He was onwy 15,” the strike leader asserted. After the death of the beloved Pasta, the elves had enough. They quickly organized themselves and began to strike. But where did the elves come from? Well, it’s hard to know for certain, but from multiple interrogations with involved staff members, we found that the elves were lured to Stuyvesant with $6/hour wages,

which, though quite little, is still more than Santa Claus’s unpaid servitude. When asked, the student body was unanimously in favor of freeing the elves. In an interview, freshman Isadora Explorer said, “I keep failing my gosh darn APES quizzes! Those elves grade so sloppily because of the terrible conditions they're working under. If we free them, someone who’s actually competent can grade my tests, and I can pass!” Many students shared similar sentiments as Explorer, saying that the overworked elves lead to faulty grading, tattered textbooks, and, ultimately, failing students. However, most teachers do not share this same sentiment. When asked about freeing the elves, an

overwhelming number of teachers voted to keep them, saying that they helped reduce their workload. One teacher said in an e-mail interview, “Those elves are some of the most valuable resources in Stuyvesant. How am I supposed to fail threefourths of an AP Chemistry section by myself ?” Luckily, the words of the teachers have fallen on deaf ears. The voice of the student body was simply too much, and negotiations between Principal Yu and the newly formed Union for Winter Underlings (UWU), are currently ongoing. With the support of students and the might of UWU, we trust that the elves will eventually find themselves a happy ending.

Cases of Missing Children Rise Sharply as Santa Impostors Terrorize Neighborhood! By RYAN PENG and CRAIG CHEN Earlier today, New Yorkers received a chilling surprise ahead of Christmas schedule when Santa was recorded allegedly stuffing a child into a bag made of poorly-taped wrapping paper. The video was posted on social media and quickly blew up on multiple platforms with the tag #SantapostorSUS. The suspect was wearing his classic red hat and Santa shoes, but a pixel-by-pixel analysis by Stuyvesant’s leading AP Computer Science student showed that the face inside the costume didn’t quite match Santa’s face. After several investigations, it was found that this Santa-postor was seen a few days ago with a large group of other Santa-postors stampeding into a Party City at 310 West 125th Street and intimidating the store owner into giving them a value pack of Santa costumes. When interviewed, the store owner immediately curled up into a fetal position on our office floor, shaking wildly and mumbling incoherently. Among the few phrases we could comprehend were, “Who buys a value pack of Santa costumes except people who

want to give children lethal doses of trauma?” and, “What was I thinking, running a store in West Harlem? I should have accepted that city sanitation job instead.” In an attempt to bring the store owner back from his traumatized state, one of our writers opened his hand and placed a small, white business card in it, whispering, “Lots of money with Liberty Mutual!” softly into his ear. It wasn’t very effective. Many concerned families from all five boroughs are now speaking out about seeing Santas attack their neighbors, flooding the internet with stories that everyone outside New York City will inevitably call “fAKe neWS!1!” Naturally, news coverage began as soon as the issue went viral because news stations want more views care about New York City’s youth. ABC 7’s Protect Our Children portion now shows multiple pages in a poorly compressed PDF file of photos of children, all of whom have been snatched by a “Santa.” Both New York 1 and Fox News now have a running total of children abducted on the sidebar at all times, which bears a strange resemblance to the coronavirus case tracker from March 2020.

Reporters at the Humor De- few messages that we did see before partment of The Stuyvesthe connection died were: ant Spectator reached “i heard that the elf populaout to the group of tion is decreasing” Santa-postors, but they “weve captured over declined to respond. 9000 children now, that Luckily, our highly shld be enough 2 replenskilled team of monish” keys managed to hack “the north pole-bound into their Messenexp train leaves at ger group chat. In 11:29am from station addition to the 9 and three cuarters, large number mak sure u have them of Santa/ raedy by then” Elf reactions Since those texts were that each leaked, the leading message retheory surrounding ceived, crucial inforthe kidnappings has mation was revealed been that these about what they were children might be planning to do with in for a stay of the abducted chilindentured serdren. Unfortunatevitude in Santa’s ly, the monkeys snowy domain. This saw a street pedraises various condler’s bunch cerns. Have of bananas thousands at a street of chilReya Miller / The Spectator peddler dren aland ran ready been off to eat them, cutting off our conshipped to nection before we were able to take the North Pole to become unskilled any pictures of the messages. The laborers, also known as elves? Why

was it so easy to kidnap so many kids in such a short time? Is it time for parents to dust off the 10-year-old pamphlets about “Stranger Danger”? The dedicated humans and monkeys here at the Humor Department will continue reporting the latest information as the case continues to unfold.

P.S. Parents, if your child has not yet mysteriously vanished, be ready to spray some Spectator-Certified Santa RepellantTM at any slightly overweight person in a “Party City” Santa costume that appears at your door! Available for just $30 per unit, each can has enough to repel one Santa or one Elf. Warning: Do not come into contact with canned asbestos spray. In case you do, contact a poison control center within five (5) minutes. Christmas ChrashersTM is not responsible for damage to property or persons. This advertisement was brought to you by The Spectator Business Department.

Spotify Wrapped Roasted 2021 continued from page 24

to it. You need to solidify your sense of identity or you will wind up with a confusing set of perceived interests that are really just trends you

went along with and will regret by the time you’re 86 and your grandkids don’t love you anymore. Ask yourself: are you truly happy? Or does the happiness of those appeased by your actions bring you a semblance of joy instead? Live life for yourself only, my dude. And be

sure that when you twerk to “INDUSTRY BABY,” it comes from the heart. Overall, I’m proud of you! Half of 2021 was spent in the dark solitude of an unclean bedroom, so we can excuse some of your wack sta-

tistics this time around. You’re not off the hook, though. Next year will (hopefully) hold no excuses, and I plan on staying alive long enough to roast you once again. In all seriousness, whatever artist you listened to, if music helped you find some comfort through the era of Zoom,

then you get a pass for listening to the most cringe sounds that humanity could ever come up with. And, if Spec Humor brought you even one hollow laugh when we were roasting every fiber of your being, then it has been a true honor. See you next year, and Merry Christmas.

Home Alone (Stuy Edition) continued from page 23

tan.

“Excuse me, where’s the E train

station?” Bob asked politely. “Down the street and to the left,” the man replied, making a gesture with his right hand. Once Bob had safely boarded

the train, he sighed with content. He had secretly enjoyed watching the success of his traps and was proud of himself. Bob looked into his backpack, which was filled with

“gifts” that he had stealthily collected while setting up his traps—a box of fancy Japanese chalk, a few Mr. Kats’s prized Pusheens, and a new Chromebook from the laptop

cart. I may not have the cleanest conscience, he reflected, but at least, with all these new acquisitions, I’m going to have a very merry Christmas.

Page 26

The Spectator ● December 22, 2021

Sports Soccer

The Dark Side of the “Beautiful” Game By ROMAIN TARAYRE It was a cold and rainy night in the suburbs of Paris as S.M. Caen and Paris Saint-Germain were set to kick off in a U17 youth match. Twenty-two tremendously talented individuals lined the pitch as onlookers prepared for what they were sure would be a great match. Elye Wahi, Caen’s star striker, was of particular interest. The then 14-year-old had scored an astonishing 89 goals in the previous season and was hungry for more. French soccer fans would soon be astonished when Wahi was cut from the academy after being physically aggressive to a supervisor. Though Wahi committed a crime as it is, little would fans know that the truth was far more horrid than could be imagined. For the past four years, soccer fans were led to believe that Wahi was merely a violent person, but new reports suggest he is responsible for far greater crimes. Highly regarded French soccer journalist Romain Molina came out with a bombshell report last month that

included sexual assault allegations a nightclub. Though increasing against Wahi. Molina received re- publicity brought attention to his ports that Wahi’s time at Caen was past actions, little to nothing has cut short due to a scandal uncov- been done about Wahi. His story ered by the club in which he physi- matches a trend of ignored sexual cally threatened secondary school assault claims that are covered up students until they undressed and while allowing perpetrarors to walk masturbated in front of him. The and play freely. French club caught wind of this Wahi’s disgusting acts are resituation and cut him while cov- markably not so uncommon. ering up his story. No Along with bringing up Wahi’s past, court case s Molina also revealed more cases of Rin F were purukuok sexual assault in the soccer world a / Th sued by that have yet to be e Spe ctator S.M. Caen, addressed. and Wahi was These innot restricted clude the from joining rapes of other clubs. over 400 Now, four professional years later, Wahi soccer players plays professionin their youth ally for Ligue 1 club (many of Montpellier. Earwhom contractlier this year, he was ed injuries or brought to court by a diseases as a rewoman saying she was sult); a pedophilia p hy s i c a l l y scandal covered up beaten by a French top dib y vision team; and the him at rape of a minor (who

was forced into an abortion) at a FIFA center. Little evidence has been released regarding the claims. However, Molina is well-known in France and has a reputation certainly worthy of upholding. Molina’s claims, if true, reveal the grand scope of sexual assault in sports like soccer that repeatedly fail to be addressed. Allegations are prevalent against coaches, staff members, and even fellow players, both in the men’s game and the women’s game. However, it should not be this way. FIFA, the governing body of worldwide soccer, has more than enough funding to create a committee tasked with investigating sexual assault claims and preventing such crimes. Committees exist in other leagues and sports. For example, the NCAA has a commission tasked with combating sexual violence. So why doesn’t FIFA? There isn’t a clear-cut answer, but it’s apparent that FIFA isn’t giving the issue enough attention. The majority of sexual assaults committed in sports are when people who hold power take advantage of vul-

nerable athletes. As the most influential body of soccer, FIFA holds immense power and so do its constituents. It wouldn’t be outlandish to think that many perpetrators of sexual violence in soccer have strong ties to FIFA, thereby diminishing the possibility of a sexual assault committee. The best way to deal with sexual assault in sports is through awareness and media attention. The probability that perpetrators are held accountable is greatly increased if there is widespread outrage against their actions. However, this process can’t happen when the vast majority of soccer fans isn’t even aware of what’s going on. A simple Google search of Wahi’s allegations reveals next to nothing; the same can be said for most of the other reported cases of sexual assault. It’s about time we start talking about sexual assault in soccer, rather than putting it aside and labeling it as taboo. Until soccer fans start seeing “the beautiful game” for what it really can be, sexual crimes will continue to plague the soccer community worldwide.

NHL

Miniscule, Alone, and Powerless: How a League Failed Its Own Players By KAEDEN RUPAREL The NHL has demonstrated its inability to take accountability for the exploitations of power that have repeatedly occurred under its watch. The league is no stranger to failure in this department, which has certainly left a stain on its reputation and led to a lack of faith in the league from fans, athletes, and even team executives to handle future incidents of this sort. This incompetence is especially tarnishing for an organization that already receives little media attention in comparison to the other major sports leagues. The negligence of the league has proven dangerous before, and further negligence will allow for these damaging altercations to continue. For example, former Calgary Flames and Chicago Blackhawks player Akim Aliu was a survivor of numerous racist and abusive attacks across many leagues. A year and a half before he was to be drafted, in 2005, Aliu got into a fight with high-level prospect Steve Downie after refusing to strip down in a team bus. He finished his draft year with statistics high enough to be a consensus top 15 pick but fell out of the first round (and nearly the second round) entirely, having been deemed uncoachable, with ‘character issues’ being one of many criticisms he faced. This setback didn’t stop Aliu, though, who was

no stranger to adversity, having grown up as the only Black kid in his neighborhood and on local teams. Three years after being drafted, Aliu was the victim of a profoundly racist attack at the hands of his coach at the time, Bill Peters. Displeased with Aliu’s choice of music for the locker room, Peters hurled racist insults and slurs at Aliu, calling him the n-word numerous times. Aliu chose to keep the story to himself for almost a decade until 2019, when he publicly accused Peters of the racist and later abusive behavior he had endured. Aliu also came forward with an essay in May 2020, in which he shared how the incident led to the resurgence of a feeling not unbeknownst to him throughout his hockey career: miniscule, alone, and powerless. Aliu’s feelings resonated with Kyle Beach, another former NHL player and a sexual assault survivor who courageously came forward with his own story over a month ago. Beach was a talented prospect for the Chicago Blackhawks, selected 11th overall in the 2008 draft, but had his career cut short because of victim-blaming and a lack of accountability by the Blackhawks organization. While the Blackhawks were in the Stanley Cup Playoffs in 2010, Beach was sexually assaulted by video coach Brad Aldrich, which Beach brought up to multiple members

of the Blackhawks organization days after, to no avail. Any claims that Beach did not bring his story to light are unfounded: mental skills coach James Gary attempted to blame Beach himself. Beach discussed the incident with several people, including director of the NHL’s Player Association (NHLPA) Don Fehr, whose sole responsibility was supposed to be to protect the players. None of them acted upon the incident and outright ignored Beach’s pleas for Aldrich to be removed or for measures to be taken to prevent this situation from happening again. General manager Stan Bowman revealed that coach Joel Quenneville’s reasoning for ignoring the incident was that he could not be bothered amid a so-called crucial playoff run, especially as Beach was not part of the on-ice roster. The Blackhawks then won the Stanley Cup, which had Aldrich’s name etched into it until a month ago. Beach’s career derailed, and he never played in an NHL game, prompting claims that he was one of the worst selections in Blackhawks history. At 20, Beach was sexually assaulted, and his pleas for help were completely ignored. While a few teammates stood by him, many made homophobic retorts toward him, and others stood by without a word of protest. This last group included longtime veterans like Duncan Keith, Patrick Sharp, captain Jonathan Toews,

and Patrick Kane, who did not have a career at stake like Beach did as bona fide stars in the league. In a tormentingly emotional interview with TSN’s Rick Westhead, Beach broke down numerous times, painfully recounting his story and the ways in which he felt hopeless, powerless, and entirely alone––quite similar to Aliu. Beach also detailed the years following, in which the league refused to take action and the Blackhawks continuously attempted to throw out his case. Aliu currently faces the same problems; the league claims they finished their investigation into his incident and have reached out to Aliu’s party to figure out next steps, but Aliu’s lawyer stated that the league has not been in touch with him since the beginning of the investigation. There has been little transparency from the league about their commitment to preventing future occurrences and a lack of communication regarding the investigation. These patterns highlight a common theme with the NHL. The league is unable to handle player safety, with a growing list of shortcomings and failures in handling these investigations. Aliu’s and Beach’s situations are some of the most severe cases, but the NHL has disregarded numerous other pleas for help and glaring issues within the hockey world. The league has ignored the numerous injuries and deaths resulting from

chronic traumatic encephalopathy, which stems from repeated head injuries and is particularly prevalent in hockey, as well as the recent drafting of a player who specifically asked not to be drafted following sexual harassment allegations. Aliu and Beach, meanwhile, have used their newfound platforms to help those unable to speak up for themselves. Beach has met with the NHLPA and begun discussions around the league and within teams and organizations to prevent further abuse of all types. He advocates around smaller town teams and lower leagues, fights for players to stand up, and acts as a role model for countless survivors. Aliu founded the Hockey Diversity Alliance (HDA) to fight for diversity and inclusion in the NHL, sparked by his disappointment in the NHL’s lackluster “Hockey Is For Everyone” diversity campaign. The HDA now has a diverse group of members from around the league and is working to grow and provide equal opportunities for underprivileged and minority communities. Aliu and Beach’s demonstration of courage brought light to important stories. If the NHL wants to continue to grow the game and prevent these incidents from reoccurring, they need to do better. It’s these failures that lead many fans to share a similar sentiment of “loving the sport, hating the league.”

Sports Editorial

Mind Over Matter By MATT MELUCCI “What’s a strong body without a sound mind? We’re so focused on strength that we forget the strength in our focus,” LeBron James said in an advertisement for the Calm app, which offers guided meditations. “While the greats master the body, the greatest master the mind.” Mental health and wellness have long been overlooked in the

world of athletics. While there has always been an emphasis on physical fortitude, few athletes have acknowledged the importance of their mental health in their success. Oftentimes, athletes who stay connected with their emotions and prioritize their wellness over playing it through have been portrayed as weak or not suited to play against the top competition. This past year, world-class ath-

letes have started prioritizing their mental health over achieving greatness in competitions. Four-time U.S. Olympic gold medalist gymnast Simone Biles withdrew from the team finals and the Olympic allaround events in the 2020 Tokyo Games (held in 2021) due to a mental health issue. She was expected to win gold in at least three of all four event finals, as she had not lost an all-around competition since 2013,

when she was 16 years old. As she competed in the first event final though, Biles realized that she was not in the right headspace to compete and feared that doing so would increase her risk of injury in events like the vault. Biles’s decision came around a month after four-time Grand Slam champion Naomi Osaka withdrew from the French Open after being penalized for not participating

in post-game media conferences. Osaka opened up about her social anxiety and bouts of depression since winning her first major in the 2018 U.S. Open and stated that she would be taking some time away from the court. She protected her mind rather than succumbing to tournament rules, speaking to the continued on page 27

The Spectator ● December 22, 2021

Page 27

Sports Soccer

A Glimpse Into Ralf Rangnick’s Career Almost halfway into the Premier League season, renowned club Manchester United FC has been struggling. Club manager Ole Gunnar Solskjær had difficulty adapting to the team’s grueling set of fixtures, winning only one out of seven league games in the span of two months. After the team suffered a 4-1 defeat against Watford FC on November 20, the club’s board of directors held an emergency meeting and parted ways with Solskjær. Immediately, German manager Ralf Rangnick, a name unfamiliar to the English crowd, was put on United’s shortlist. Many have voiced their doubts about a manager who has yet to receive any huge silverware at the club level, but a few weeks into his appointment, Rangnick has already been able to organize the team as a cohesive unit. As a result, he has been well-received by pundits and fans alike. Rangnick was born on June 29, 1958, in Backnang, West Germany. He began his playing career at VfB Stuttgart and went on to play for clubs concentrated in the lower-tier German leagues. Though his career as a player was short-lived, he was noted for his strategic mindset during soccer matches. He started his coaching career during the 1980s, initially with his hometown team Viktoria Backnang, and worked his way up the amateur-tier leagues. He

was sought after by his former club, SSV Ulm, in January 1997 and led Ulm to win the third-tier Regionalli-

Intertoto Cup in 2000, but he was dismissed a year later after a poor league performance. For the fol-

ga Süd Championship before being promoted to the top-tier German Bundesliga. There, Rangnick began to establish a name for himself. Rangnick eventually became first team coach of VfB Stuttgart during the summer of 1999. He helped the club go far in European ambitions, winning the UEFA

lowing few years, Rangnick managed the Bundesliga and Bundesliga clubs and achieved successive promotions to the top-tier league, an amazing accomplishment for someone who went from coaching in the lower leagues to leading his squad at the top of the competition. Rangnick became the director

of football for Austrian club Red Bull Salzburg and German club RB Leipzig in 2012. His appointment was crucial for the growth of the clubs, with both playing in the Europa League and Champions League. Rangnick later resigned as director of football of Red Bull Salzburg, opting to manage only RB Leipzig. He helped the team qualify for the Champions League in 2018 with a third place finish in the Bundesliga. “Just to put things into perspective, the club was founded in 2009 and won three promotions in five years. Since 2012, it has secured its place in the top-tier Bundesliga and has continuously participated in Champions League, even making a semifinal in 2020. It is something truly rare and extraordinary,” Rangnick said, explaining his successes at RB Leipzig in recent years. Throughout his experience as a player-coach, manager, and football director, Rangnick has been regarded as the “godfather” of modern German football. He is widely known for creating a football strategy called “gegenpressing,” which encourages players to immediately win back possession after losing the ball. Many of his teams are recognized for their high pressing output and attacking mindset. He was also one of the first coaches to publicize soccer tactics in broadcasts and interviews, earning him the nickname “the football professor.” Flash forward to his appoint-

Chuer Zhong / The Spectator

By SHAFIUL HAQUE

ment to Manchester United, and it seems that Rangnick has started to adjust to life in England. After receiving his permit on December 2, Rangnick finally joined the club, initially as an interim manager until the end of the season, after which he will stay in the club’s consultancy role for a further two years. Rangnick’s first match at United was a 1-0 victory against Crystal Palace, which is United’s first clean sheet at home since March. Many pundits praised United’s performance in this game, claiming that Rangnick has been able to rejuvenate the Red Devils. After the game, Rangnick himself was exuberant. “The way we defended, we had control of the whole game, the clean sheet was the most important part,” he said. “These are the things we must improve. We need to keep clean sheets. With just the one training session, I was really impressed. We did much better than expected.” Considering Rangnick’s sizable experience, it’s no surprise that Manchester United chose to appoint him as manager. Though the club currently has a considerable amount of problems within the team, including player selection and team chemistry issues, Rangnick is the man to fix these issues and lead the Red Devils to glory. Only time will tell how he will fare in Manchester, but his appointment was certainly the right decision for the club.

Sports Editorial

Mind Over Matter continued from page 26

media, and continuing to compete. Fans had a mix of reactions to such withdrawals for both Biles and Osaka. Many criticized Biles for putting herself over glory for the United States, believing that she should have just pushed through and competed. However, these critics did not understand that Biles’s mental health was interfering with her performance and would only hurt her and the U.S. gymnastics team’s performance. Texas Deputy Attorney General Aaron Reitz even tweeted that Biles was a “national embarrassment,” comparing her to U.S. Olympic gold medalist gymnast Kerri Strug in the 1996 Olympics, who continued to compete while she was injured and won

gold. For Osaka, after a third-round loss in this year’s Olympic games, she received widespread backlash from Japanese fans, criticizing her on all aspects from her identity to her tennis ability and mental health struggles. Osaka and Biles served major roles in sparking a global conversation on mental health in sports. With the COVID-19 pandemic upheaval, mental health concerns became a major preoccupation for the general public, which ultimately resulted in more empathy and understanding toward the issue. In athletics, all leagues stopped in their tracks as safety became the main priority. This increased mental health awareness should not be a phase. As we continue to navigate the world during the COVID-19 pan-

demic, athletes should continue to listen to their minds and care for themselves. Many athletes have started to dedicate their time to raising awareness for this important issue, developing greater discipline and the focus necessary to remain calm under pressure. Sports have long involved a culture of winning at all costs, being machismo, and playing through injury or pain. With James partnering with the Calm app and advocating for meditation, as well as the Cleveland Cavaliers’ Kevin Love, retired Olympian Michael Phelps, tennis champion Serena Williams, Olympian Usain Bolt, and others speaking up about the mental side of competing at such high levels in athletics, sports leagues are taking notice and making strides in supporting their players’ wellness.

Today, about half of the teams in the NBA have a mental skills coach on staff. Teams in all leagues, including the Philadelphia 76ers, Kansas City Chiefs, and Toronto Blue Jays, recognize the power of an athlete maintaining a strong mental state and have thus invested in developing such mentalities for their players. The addition of mental skills coaches on sports teams’ staffs began in the early 2000s, but only recently have teams begun to embrace it. Mental coaching involves mindfulness, attention training, and avoiding cognitive interference. It particularly addresses an uncertain situation, an unclear future, unknown parameters, and unexpected stressors. An athlete with higher psychological flexibility, the ability to remain in the present regardless of distractions, is more

likely to succeed. Teams have realized this fact and are slowly harnessing its benefits. As important as grit and perseverance are to success in athletics, the key foundation to building confidence is mental health and wellness. Professional athletes certainly have elite skills in their respective sports, yet they are still human like all of the fans. It’s unjust to expect that they can tune out their feelings, concerns, and fears and perform at their best like robots. They experience immense amounts of pressure for greatness every day, and fans typically don’t recognize the amount of resilience it takes. Let’s shift the conversation in the sports world, understanding that athletes undergo enormous mental and physical pressure and respecting when they need a break.

Soccer

Just Another One for the Collection Four years before he died, soccer legend Johan Cruyff predicted that Argentine soccer player Lionel Messi would go on to win “five, six, or seven Ballon d’Ors.” Almost 10 years later, Cruyff ’s bold prediction came to fruition. After leading Argentina to its first major trophy in 28 years, Messi was awarded the Ballon d’Or, the most prestigious individual award in soccer, for the seventh time. However, this decision came with controversy as many critics claimed that the award was undeserved. Many fans thought that Robert Lewandowski, with 74 goal contributions and three different trophies this year, was the frontrunner. Most pundits agree that he would have won last year’s award if it didn’t get canceled due to the pandemic. Some argued that 2020 should be taken into consideration

when giving out this year’s Ballon d’Or. However, Messi, despite having inferior stats, was ultimately the best player throughout 2021. The Argentine playmaker registered 41 goals and 17 assists in 58 appearances this year. Though Lewandowski edged Messi in terms of goal contributions, Messi still led in key passes, chances created, man of the match awards, and free-kick goals. Messi’s impact on his team was more spread out than that of Lewandowski. For the majority of the season, he operated as a midfielder and was more focused on progressing the ball from the defense into dangerous attacking positions than on scoring and assisting goals. Lewandowski was lethal in terms of increasing the goal tally but only by converting chances, not creating them. Being involved at almost every level of the buildup to a goal, Messi had a

greater influence on his team. Especially as Messi carried Argentina to international glory with a Player of the Tournament performance in the 2021 Copa America, it is no surprise that he ultimately won the Ballon d’Or. Messi’s accomplishments this year are a stark contrast to his struggles last year. The Argentine had a stretch of six games without a single open play goal for his former club, F.C. Barcelona. He also failed to win a single trophy throughout the whole year. Critics questioned his ability to lead a team, ability to perform when it matters the most, and ability to win trophies without the help of former renowned teammates like Xavi Hernández and Andrés Iniesta. However, he was unfazed by this criticism. “I understand that people will talk about it when I stop scoring so many, but that’s part of the game, part of grow-

ing as a player and adapting to the times, to be the best player both for yourself and for the team,” he said. Now, the struggles of last year seem like a distant memory. Messi led Argentina to win a tro-

Jaden Bae / The Spectator

By NAKIB ABEDIN

phy that all-time-greats Pelé and Diego Maradona were never able to touch. He used his experience to lead a young Barca team to win

the Copa del Rey. In both these feats, Messi’s supporting cast was rather average, putting an end to the myth that Messi’s success came solely from his legendary teammates. Though the world is in awe of Messi’s seventh Ballon d’Or, the Paris Saint-Germain forward is likely not thinking about his recent success. While the rest admire his accomplishments, Messi probably has his eyes on the 2022 World Cup, as he has been open about valuing team trophies over individual awards. The World Cup is the one trophy that has eluded the Argentine playmaker for his whole career. This upcoming tournament will likely be his last chance to win soccer’s most prestigious trophy. With momentum from his recent triumphs, Messi is hoping to finish off his career as a world champion.

The Spectator ● December 22, 2021

Page 28

THE SPECTATOR SPORTS NBA

NBA Roundup: Basketball’s Biggest Surprises By TY ANANT As the end of 2021 approaches, we’re about a quarter of the way through the 20212022 NBA season. Each team has set into the rhythm of its games, and as a result, pundits have begun to form opinions on how far these teams will go this season. Certain teams have stood out as clear outliers, either completely outperforming their offseason expectations or missing the mark. The Bulls The Chicago Bulls have been a team to watch during the 2021-2022 season. For most of the 2010s, the Bulls were a bottom-of-the-barrel team, with win percentages in the low 30s for the past four years. This year, however, the Bulls have pounded out an emphatic 1710 start to the season, putting them at second in the Eastern Conference. Over the offseason, the Bulls acquired a couple of key pieces with star guard Lonzo Ball and 2010s All-Star DeMar DeRozan in four and three-year deals, respectively. They also managed to trade for Nikola Vučevič last season, who averaged 23.4 points and 11.7 rebounds then. The Bulls’ perennial All-Star, Zach LaVine, is coming off his career-high year averaging 27-5-5. The newly reawakened

Bulls were getting a lot of attention over the summer, primarily because of LaVine and DeRozan’s reputations above the rim and Ball’s complementary passing. However, nobody could’ve predicted the extent to which they have dominated their opponents. Their hardnosed defense and fluid offense have been tearing up the league all season. However, one of the biggest concerns that the Bulls have is how far they will be able to go in the NBA playoffs. Where it is often necessary to be a superteam (or a two-time MVP) to be a legitimate contender, the Bulls are not taken seriously as ring candidates. Especially with the presence of teams stacked with superstars, such as the Brooklyn Nets and the Los Angeles Lakers, it’s hard to imagine a team with no true superstars winning it all. However, it’s equally hard to imagine this energized Bulls team hitting a ceiling.

Because of their past successful years, it’s a bit of a stretch to say the Suns’ performance is extremely surprising. However, they seem to be able to up the ante every year, keeping the rest of the league on its toes and going undefeated 16-0 in November. They set a franchise record win streak of 18, only losing it to the top-seeded Warriors last week. “[This game was a] great look at what it takes to play at the highest level in this league,” Nets coach and Hall of Famer Steve Nash said after the game. The Suns look like serious contenders to make another finals push this year. They have an advantage over teams like the Lakers, who have drastically changed their roster. The Sun’s core trio of shooting guard Devin Booker, point guard Chris Paul, and center Deandre Ayton has been playing together for multiple years now and has the chemistry of a finals team. The team has a perfect blend of veteran leadership, with forward Jae Crowder, Paul, and young and explosive scorers like Booker, Cams Johnson, and Cameron Payne. They’re also a powerful defensive team, second only to the Golden State Warriors in defensive statistics. The Suns’ play is a powerful mixture of the creative abilities of Paul and Booker, the spot-up shooting of Crowder, Johnson, and Payne,

The Suns The Phoenix Suns are no stranger to the top of the standings. They started off their string of surprises two years ago, when they went undefeated in the 2020 Orlando Bubble. In the NBA playoffs, they continued to prevail against heavily favored opponents in every round before making it to the NBA finals.

and the effective defensive effort. It’s exciting to see how far the Phoenix Suns can go, and if that means another trip to the NBA finals. The Lakers The last team on the roster is a team that has had expectations and reality go in opposite directions so far—the Los Angeles Lakers. The Lakers’ offseason expectations rose through the roof with their acquisitions of MVP point guard Russell Westbrook and forward Carmelo Anthony adding to the LeBron James-Anthony Davis core that won the 2020 championship. They were compared to the Eastern superteam of the Brooklyn Nets, with some believing that a finals appearance for the team was a foregone conclusion. So far, Anthony has been a brilliant piece for the purple and gold, averaging 13.2 points per game and a staggering 40.3 percent from the threepoint line. Additionally, young former G League player Talen Horton-Tucker has been an integral starter, adding aggression and hustle to the older lineup. However, the Lakers have struggled to stay above .500, currently holding a sixth seedworthy record of 15-13. One of the factors inhibiting their success is the players’ ages. The Lakers are by far the oldest team in the league with its

average age around 30. With the exception of 28-year-old Davis and 21-year-old HortonTucker, most of the firepower on the Lakers is reaching the end of their careers. While veteran leadership works on a team like the Suns, who have a strong younger presence and talent, it doesn’t work as well when the team has to rely solely on older players to win every game. Additionally, their offense has been uncoordinated and incohesive. The chemistry between the veteran Lakers and Westbrook has been nowhere near where it needs to be. This weakness is apparent in Westbrook’s 1.8 assist/turnover ratio. Bottom line? The Lakers need to sort out their chemistry issues and figure out how to make their offense look more experienced fast if they want to have a legitimate chance in this year’s playoffs. While there are certainly many other NBA teams that have amazed fans this year, the Suns, Bulls, and Lakers are some of the most surprising ones. With the narratives and constant highlights from these teams, as well as record-setting seasons and sublime plays from teams like Denver, Golden State, Charlotte, and Washington, this NBA season is certainly set up to be one of the most exciting we’ve seen.

Boys’ Varsity Basketball

The Runnin’ Rebels Hope to Run to Victory This Season The Runnin’ Rebels, Stuyvesant’s boys’ varsity basketball team, gave it their all on June 24, 2021 in a match against Seward Park Campus. However, technical fouls, defensive failures, and a general lack of team organization, all of which had plagued the entirety of their season, led them to a devastating loss. Knowing that this tight defeat easily could have gone in their favor, the Runnin’ Rebels sought revenge going into the rematch on December 6. The team channeled its passion once again and brought home their second win this season against Seward. Seward has consistently been a top team in the Manhattan A1 division. However, Stuyvesant’s 62-48 victory against Seward served as a confidence boost for the Rebels, proving that they could defeat teams they were previously unable to. Throughout the game, Stuyvesant dominated in every aspect. “We were shooting well, and we dealt with their press very easily. We controlled the tempo of the game,” senior and co-captain Deven Maheshwari said. Because they were able to shut down any attack by Seward while connecting offensively, the Rebels were up by 20 at half. Though Seward pushed to win the third quarter, it was nowhere near enough to compete with the Rebels’ continuous success in front of the basket.

The differences between the two Seward games capture the story of the spring and fall seasons; while the Runnin’ Rebels fell short in the former, they were successful in the latter and hopefully will be throughout the entirety of the season. Historically, the Runnin’ Rebels have failed to impress in their division, having ended their shortened 20202021 season with a 2-5 record. However, the Rebels have seen immense growth only five games into the season, both within the team as a whole and among individual players, and increases in commitment to intensity and attendance at practice. Coach Charles Sewell has emphasized the significance of fast transitions between defense and offense, an area in which the team has shown progress since the beginning of the season. This improvement has led to an increase in the number and quality of shots taken if the opposing team is caught off guard, which can help the team run up the score. The juniors on the Rebels have stepped up as well, getting more comfortable with the varsity playing level and filling in for their injured teammates when necessary. The goal for every sports team—be it a Little League team or an NFL team—remains the same: making the playoffs. The Runnin’ Rebels are no exception. In the A1 Division, a team must have a record of .500 or better to secure a playoff berth. Though the Runnin’ Rebels have not been

to the playoffs in over five years, they have high hopes this year. “We definitely want to make playoffs this year, and we definitely should be, as long as we play to

improvements to their team to get the most out of this 20212022 season. The Rebels do not want to uphold the low expectations from previous seasons and

the best of our abilities and don’t play down to our opponent,” senior and co-captain Aidan Fingeret said. So far, Fingeret’s strategy for making it past the regular season has worked for the team, as it currently meets the requirements with three wins and two losses, making it the winningest team in recent Stuyvesant boys’ varsity basketball history. However, they hope to make a few

instead are focused on making a name for themselves. Maheshwari cited a greater pressure on the Rebels to perform. “For us to continue improving and continue to play at a high level, we’re going to need to be able to handle that pressure not only on the court but also generally being a team and playing together,” he said. More specifically, Fingeret believes the Rebels need to target their rebounding. “We shouldn’t

Rain Shao / The Spectator

By ROXIE GOSFIELD and SUSIE MCKNIGHT

be giving the other team as many second-chance opportunities to get buckets,” Fingeret said. The Rebels attempted to implement these improvements in their match against the Eleanor Roosevelt High School Huskies on December 14 and delivered. Starting strong with a string of three-pointers, the team dominated on the court throughout the first quarter. Though the Huskies took control of the second and third quarters, the Rebels held their own and continued to look for opportunities offensively. Beginning the fourth quarter with only a four-point lead from Stuyvesant, both teams gave it their all, making it an extremely competitive and evenly matched final 15 minutes. Ultimately, the Rebels successfully managed to remain on top, ending the game 56-52. The Rebels’ skillful display demonstrated to both themselves and their division that they have a stronger command of the game than ever before. As most of their season is still ahead of them, the Runnin’ Rebels have plenty of time to improve and rewrite the story of boys’ basketball at Stuyvesant. With the motivation and drive of its captains and players, the team has a lot of potential and an amazing work ethic, a recipe for success. If they keep their current performance up, the Rebels have a real shot at making more Stuyvesant boys’ varsity basketball history.

The Spectator • December 22, 2021

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Spectator University College by the Numbers By SHAFIUL HAQUE, ADRIANNA PENG, LOGAN RUZZIER, DAVID CHEN, and JARED MOSER Every year, a freshman cohort of approximately 900 students is admitted to Stuyvesant, with some being prepared for high school, while others are less so. Regardless, all incoming students are subject to Stuyvesant’s rigorous academic environment for the next four years, culminating in the dreaded college application season. During the application period, students begin to pile on SAT and ACT studying, college touring, and extracurricular frenzies, worrying they won’t be accepted into elite universities. Though the college process is an arduous and mentally-straining journey for Stuyvesant students, fear not, for Stuyvesant boasts one of the nation’s top university acceptance rates. When it comes to college admissions, Stuyvesant undoubtedly outperforms the majority of the nation. Stuyvesant students can expect high acceptance rates for most colleges, as alumni have demonstrated substantially higher admissions rates for even the most elite institutions. At some universities, Stuyvesant students can expect a nearly 50 percent improvement in admissions chances compared to the average high school student. And for the majority of the Ivy Leagues, Stuyvesant students were accepted at a rate of at least a few percentage points higher than the national average. At Cornell, 17 percent of Stuyvesant applicants were accepted over a 10-year period as opposed to the national average of 11 percent. At Harvard, Stuyvesant outperformed the national acceptance average of five percent by a near-double nine percent, out of those who applied. Take another prestigious university, the Massachusetts Institute of Technology (MIT), which has a national admissions rate of just over four percent. Despite this, Stuyvesant students have a jawdropping 14 percent acceptance rate of those who applied, a 250 percent boost over the norm. In terms of state universities and city colleges, Stuyvesant students continue to uphold Stuyvesant’s exceptional acceptance rates. For instance, in the past 10 years, 71 percent of Binghamton applications from Stuyvesant were accepted, whereas only 41 percent were accepted nationally. This makes

sense because Binghamton is a state school and Stuyvesant students are all New York residents. However, over this time period, only 19 percent of Stuyvesant’s applicants actually attended Binghamton University—in 2020, 397 students were accepted and only 76 enrolled, and in 2021, 420 students were accepted and only 45 enrolled. These patterns are also exhibited in several other state colleges. At Stony Brook University, though Stuyvesant’s 10-year percentage exceeded the national average, yet only 44 out of 263 accepted students chose to enroll in 2020, and 80 out of 303 students in 2021. Still, some students may consider Stuyvesant’s acceptance rates to elite universities inadequate, lamenting that Stuyvesant “only” sends a handful of students each to Harvard, Yale, or Princeton per year (note that nearly an eighth––96 students in 2020, 70 students in 2021*–– of all students attended an Ivy League or another elite school like MIT or Stanford). Last year’s senior survey indicated that as many as 40.9 percent of Stuyvesant students who applied to an Ivy League college or elite university attended one. Compared to most of the nation’s public schools, which generally send one or two kids to an Ivy League or another elite school every few years, Stuyvesant has remarkable rates. For Stuyvesant students who are stressed about college admissions, rest assured, because the numbers are in your favor. The admissions rates into elite universities for Stuyvesant students have mostly remained constant over the years. As expressed in The Spectator’s 2025 Freshmen Survey, around 60.1 percent of the freshmen body have expressed interest in attending an Ivy League or another elite university. Whether your ambitions are geared toward the Ivy Leagues or excelling in a state college, Stuyvesant is the optimal place to get a head start on your higher education. * The number of acceptances into Ivy Leagues did not differ by much between 2020 and 2021 (145 and 133, respectively). These numbers, however, do not reflect the exact number of individuals who were offered a seat at these institutions, as a single student could’ve been accepted into multiple Ivy League colleges. The decrease in enrollment is possibly due to the fact that admissions to these schools have become more concentrated among fewer students, or that more students have chosen to enroll into non-Ivy League institutions.

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The Spectator • December 22, 2021

Spectator University From Alumni to Teachers: Are Ivies Worth It? By AFRA MAHMUD, FRANCESCA NEMATI, SASHA SOCOLOW, DEXTER WELLS, and KELLY YIP For many Stuyvesant students, attending an Ivy League college is vital to their academic careers and future success. These schools are known for their academic quality, selectivity, renowned facilities, and, of course, extensive legacies and reputations. However, is going to such an elite school worth it, and does it truly define one’s future? The Spectator conducted interviews with various teachers and alumni, who shared their own experiences and reflections. Evelyn Mao (‘15)

Eve Wening (‘20)

Zoe Buff / The Spectator

Jeffrey Wan (‘15), physics teacher When applying to college, Jeffrey Wan (’15) was in the auspicious position of having a good sense of what his plans were after college; he wanted to teach high school physics in New York City. At the end of his senior year, Wan was enrolled at Stony Brook University when a revelation struck him: “Why would I pay for room and board at Stony Brook and also be outside of the city when my goal [was] to teach in the city and also not spend a lot of money?” Wan subsequently consulted Assistant Principal of Pupil Personnel Services Casey Pedrick— who worked in the college office at the time—and decided to take advantage of walk-in admissions at City College. “I went up there the day after with my transcript and my report card, some stuff from Stuy: my report card, my SAT scores, all that, some stuff from the College Board. I brought it up there, and I think they just took me in,” he recalled. At City College, Wan appreciated the benefits of going to school in the city that he had sought out. “Being in city schools gives you ins with the city schools,” he said. He also did field work within the Department of Education. “[It] is just being in a classroom under some teacher who knows more [...] and kind of absorbing by osmosis the teacher knowledge,” he said. This firsthand experience gave Wan greater insight into planning and delivering lessons and also set him up for an eventual job at Stuyvesant. He not only worked with teachers but also conducted his own student teaching. “You’re dropped into a class, and you serve as a student-teacher. You actually teach more than during fieldwork,” Wan explained. Wan’s college experience was perhaps most remarkably characterized by the lucidity he gained and how well his plan worked out. He was able to get a job teaching physics—at the high school he had graduated from, no less—right out of the gate. His regrets from college are, impressively, few and far between. While he admits that he probably should have shown up to his freshman year calculus class more often (“Some days I chose to sleep,” he said), much seems to have worked out just as he hoped. Additionally, and certainly to the benefit of his students, Wan has a unique familiarity with what it is like to be a student at Stuyvesant. “I’m familiar with the people here. I’m familiar with how things are here […] I said, ‘Sure, let’s head over. Let’s see what I can do.’” Wan earnestly recommends that students stressed about applying to college give serious consideration to what they want to do academically, or at least to what they like. He explained that students should not let their parents steer every aspect of their college course, illustrating the perils of doing so: “You change majors your second or third year into college. Then you’ve wasted time. You’ve wasted money.” “Even if you don’t know what you want to do, make sure you are doing something that lines up with what you enjoy. If you don’t like math and physics, maybe don’t be an engineer. If you don’t like math and science and biology, organic chemistry, maybe don’t go into pre-med. You have to be able to stomach what you are doing.”

Courtesy of Eve Wening

Evelyn Mao (’15) studied biology at SUNY Stony Brook and after graduating in 2019, earned a second bachelor’s degree in nursing from Hunter College in 2021. Overall, Mao had a decent experience at Stony Brook but noticed that her quiet nature held her back from enjoying her first few years. However, she enjoyed her second-degree program more. “Everyone already has a career or family, so we all have a focus,” Mao noted. Having recently graduated, Mao plans to become a registered nurse next year. “I was considering all kinds of healthcare professions, but nursing was the best choice for me,” she said. Factors such as the length of the program, affordability, and the ability to direct patient care played important roles in her decision. Mao’s most rewarding college experience, studying abroad in Madagascar, is part of the reason she decided to follow this path. After researching indigenous butterflies for three months, she realized the reality of research was not for her. “It was too much networking or writing and too little hands-on time,” she says. Her participation in the program led her to her current career avenue: nursing. Not only was studying abroad valuable to her academics, but it also helped Mao connect with those who had similar interests. “I got to meet a bunch of peers [who] have a clear direction in life, mostly conservation-related research,” she said. Despite finding her career path, Mao has regrets about her college application process. She applied for her dream schools, many of which were highly ranked, and Stony Brook as a “safety” school. She believes that if she had applied to schools that were more feasible, she would have had more college options, but she now realizes that her life would not necessarily be better if she went to a private school that was ranked higher. Mao described her difficulties with Stony Brook’s curriculum: “If I’d known that I wouldn’t stick with research, I’d have gone to another school […] Their curriculum is not compatible with most other schools […] I had to jump through many hoops for course equivalency.” This incompatibility presented a challenge for Mao when applying to professional schools. Foundational classes are hard and can be detrimental to one’s GPA, but Mao appreciates the rigor in terms of education. Mao’s largest piece of advice for students applying to colleges is not to become hyper-fixated on the prestige of a school, but to seek out options that are best for your interests. “Really focus on your end goal instead of the ranking of the school. If you want to go to medical school, pick a school that will save some money and be friendly to your GPA. If you want to do research in a certain field, look for a school that is supportive of undergraduate research and has good programs in that field,” she said. In Mao’s opinion, if you pursue your interests, you can enjoy college life at any school. However, many of us still don’t know exactly what we want to do, and in this situation, she advises opting for a large school that offers many opportunities in multiple fields. Mao graduated but still changed her career path––as she shows, it’s always okay to take another trajectory: “If it doesn’t work out, there’s always the chance to try again or switch to something else. But it is most important to keep trying.” Overall, she hopes everyone can look outside the box and know that it actually gets better. “To me, you can enjoy college life at any school if you get to do things you want to do. As long as you reach your goal in the end, it really doesn’t matter if you went to the best school or got straight A’s every step along the way.”

Eve Wening (’20) is currently a second-year attending Dartmouth College. Though she has not yet declared a major, she plans on pursuing computer science or a modified major that incorporates elements of the computer science classes she has been taking. Wening admits to not liking Dartmouth during her first year, especially during the COVID-19 pandemic, but she has felt more at home in recent months. “This fall has been totally different. I like it a lot more. It’s been really fun, very relaxed. I feel like I’ve been growing very quickly,” she said. She has enjoyed taking advantage of Dartmouth’s unique outdoor opportunities, such as mountain biking and backpacking. “Dartmouth fully paid for me to go backpacking in the Guadalupe Mountains, and it was the best week of my life,” she shared. “There are so many trips that you can go on, and they’ll help pay for [them].” Though she has come to find her place at Dartmouth, Wening still has some regrets, especially in the way she chose her school. Though she applied to Dartmouth Early Decision, which made the application process smoother for her, it left her with some misgivings. “I regret EDing because I felt locked in. You change so much from November to May, and I felt like I wanted more opportunities,” she said. Looking back, Wening wishes that she had given herself more options and reflected more on what she was looking for in college. “I ED-ed to an Ivy, and I got in. That’s what a lot of people want the most. That’s the goal. But as soon as I got into Dartmouth, I thought, ‘I am such an idiot,’” she confessed. “This entire time I’ve been at Stuy, I thought I could think for myself and I didn’t fall into the ‘Stuy-thinking’ [patterns]. I hadn’t thought about the culture of this school, who I am, what kind of people I want to be around.” Though Wening has come to enjoy certain aspects of Dartmouth and found people she feels welcome amongst, it took longer than she had expected. Wening noticed the lack of diversity she has seen at Dartmouth. “Dartmouth is full of really ambitious people, but they’re also really privileged. A lot of them had really secure, solid lives, and I feel like if I had gone to a school where people were a little bit more relaxed about academics and less wanting to do finance and economics, that might have been a better fit for me,” she said. As someone who attends an Ivy League school, Wening is not enchanted by the band of elite universities. “The things that we get from Stuyvesant, being with kids who are really ambitious, working really hard, caring about grades, everyone feels really similarly, this is a pretty serious monoculture in that everyone really wants the same thing. That’s not the real world. But that is the Ivy League,” she said. “If you get through this place and then you fall in love with a school that isn’t in the Ivy League, definitely go to that school. And if you fall in love with a school that is in the Ivy League and then you don’t get into that school, feel really good about your other options because those are places that are probably going to be more intellectually, culturally diverse than the Ivy League, and that will benefit you greatly.”

The Spectator • December 22, 2021

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Spectator University From Alumni to Teachers: Are Ivies Worth It? Dr. Maria Nedwidek-Moore (’98), biology teacher

Jingwei Liu / The Spectator

Biology teacher Dr. Maria Nedwidek-Moore (’98) is known for having an impressive academic trajectory. She majored in biology and completed her undergraduate studies at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology (MIT) after graduating from Stuyvesant. She then attended Princeton University for graduate school, earned a Ph.D. in molecular biology, and followed this with a postdoctoral program at Harvard University. Halfway through her postdoctoral, she chose to pursue teaching as a career, eventually landing a job at Stuyvesant. Dr. Ned believes that going to MIT had both challenges and benefits. It provided an extensive amount of training in biology and genetics, which was important for future endeavors, but was also extremely difficult. Students were required to immerse themselves in complicated material very early on. “Being in an environment that’s really academically challenging can inform and help focus your energy in ways that are useful later in life,” Dr. Ned said. “But in hindsight, I’m not entirely sure that I needed that much stress that early […] MIT would have been a lot better as a graduate student, but as an undergraduate, it was one of the most difficult experiences of my life and […] It was extremely humbling, and I felt marginally unintelligent during the first couple of years there.” Dr. Ned’s education at MIT certainly helped spur her career, but she believes that it was ultimately unnecessary for being a teacher. “The one thing that I bring to this job that’s unusual—and there [are] a few of us in the department that have this—is [my] extensive advanced training,” Dr. Ned said. “But there are many, many successful teachers in education who don’t have to do all that because what I did was grueling and difficult.” She urges students to avoid assumptions about results during their college application process, because failing to acknowledge that we can’t be held responsible for every outcome can be extremely harmful and contributes to an environment in which students are embarrassed by their results. “I want people to understand that the schools are looking for certain things that they need, and if you don’t meet that or if someone else meets that more, then you won’t make it,” Dr. Ned said. “Whether or not you go to a place like that does not determine whether you are a whole human or whether you are a good person or whether you are successful or whether you are marketable. You are marketable by the sheer virtue of your intellectual capacity and talents that you have. And where you execute those, what university or what environment you execute those in is your choice and it’s your life and you don’t have a whole lot of control of where you get in or how you manifest that.”

Matt Polazzo, history teacher

Alicia Yu / The Spectator

History teacher Matt Polazzo graduated in 1998 from Bowdoin College in Maine, which he said “is spelled strangely, so everyone always thinks it’s ‘Bow-Down’ or ‘Boy-Doin,’” but it’s pronounced “BowDen.” He double-majored in government and philosophy, with a minor in Latin American history. For Polazzo, who grew up in New York City, attending a small liberal arts college in Maine was a drastic change. The small size of the school meant that there were no graduate students, which allowed for Polazzo to be in classes with as few as 10 students. “[There were] lots of opportunities for independent study with professors. In that particular case, I ended up being inspired by Paul Franco. He’s a scholar of Nietzsche, and he’s a political theory guy, so I ended up taking a bunch of really great classes with him,” Polazzo said. The emphasis on learning and the ability to closely work with great professors was the highlight of Polazzo’s college experience. His biggest regret was not taking more classes taught by great professors in his undergraduate years, pointing out the ones that he did take as definite improvements to his overall academic experience. Being a teacher has allowed Polazzo to use all those extensive college classes, however niche they may have been, throughout his professional career, especially when teaching his AP Government classes over many years. “At the end of my undergraduate experience I had become a lot less enamored with philosophy than I was as a freshman and sophomore, but I took enough of those courses that they provided me with a pretty solid grounding in the basics of Anglo-American philosophy, empiricism, that sort of stuff,” he said. Bowdoin, a college with a running joke about its name and how no one seems to know how to pronounce it, may not be as well-known as other colleges are, but Polazzo finds that peers and classes define one’s college experience much more. “Your experience [in college] is going to be shaped a lot more based on who you become friends with and what classes you take […] If you took a gap year and went to the same university, you might have a different experience than going to two different universities because you would meet different people or have different experiences,” he commented. “The experience you have is going to be so idiosyncratic because it’s going to be based on your peer group that ultimately it really doesn’t matter. As long as you go to a school that’s kind of okay, you’re probably going to be fine in life.”

Jim Cocoros, math teacher

Francesca Nemati / The Spectator

Math teacher Jim Cocoros attended Cornell University’s College of Engineering and graduated in 1994 as an Operations Research Industrial Engineer. He then attended the University of Chicago Law School for graduate studies. After finding himself disinterested in professional law, he chose to pursue teaching during the city’s math teacher shortage in 1999, using his Applied Mathematics degree from Cornell. He joined Stuyvesant’s teaching faculty in 2004. At Cornell, Cocoros originally planned to become a chemical engineer because he was proficient in math and science in high school, but he took a detour. “I was a chemical engineer for about two hours, then I was an electrical engineer for about a week, and then I was a nothing, and then I ended up in applied math,” he said. “It was the only thing I could sign up for, and I ended up liking it.” Furthermore, Cornell provided a wide range of academic opportunities, which was perfect for Cocoros, who was not sure of his future career path at the time. Cocoros wanted a place where he could take advantage of other offers the school had in case engineering, his original plan, did not work out. “And it worked out that engineering did work out […] So from a courses-to-study point of view, it was definitely the perfect school for me,” Cocoros said. His experience at the school was defined not only by his education but also by the people he met there—most notably his wife, whom he met when they were assigned to the same dorm. “I will always love Cornell because that’s where I met wifey-poo,” he said. He met some of his lifelong friends at Cornell as well, contributing to the beauty of his undergraduate education. After graduating, Cocoros went to the University of Chicago Law School, and he believes that attending Cornell helped his chances in the law school admissions process. “About 80 percent of us came from about 15 different schools, so Harvard, Yale, Princeton, Swarthmore, Williams, Amherst, [and] Stanford,” he said. “At UChicago, most of us came from those schools, and maybe 20 percent came from other schools around the country, so on that front, it looks like it must’ve helped.” However, he also pointed out that the top students at his law school came from a variety of different undergraduate colleges, including Fordham University, Binghamton University, and Washington University, proving that it is not necessary to attend an Ivy League school to succeed in graduate school. “The top kids, wherever they go, are going to become top kids, so you don’t need Harvard or Yale to excel,” Cocoros said. “What you put into a place is more of what you’re going to get out of a place, more than the name.” Cocoros believes that while there are clear benefits in going to a large, well-known school, which include worldwide alumni networks and the availability of resources, attending an Ivy League school is not necessary for success. “It’s the same stuff everywhere,” Cocoros said. “And one of the smartest people I know did his undergrad at Brooklyn College, and he’s the person I bounce ideas off of—[math teacher Stan] Kats.” “Where you go doesn’t matter as much. It’s more who you are and what you find interesting and how you pursue your passions. And what you want to do is surround yourself with people who are passionate about what they’re doing. That’s really what you want, and you can find that anywhere.”

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The Spectator • December 22, 2021

Spectator University Seniors’ VOICES on the College Process

Voices

As seniors apply to colleges this fall, four reflect on their journey navigating the college admissions process here at Stuyvesant, from researching and writing essays to contemplating the nature of Stuyvesant’s college culture.

Jenny Liu Say the term “QuestBridge,” and be greeted with confusion for the most part. QuestBridge itself is an elusive name and concept, tinged with tough odds and strange reconciliations. It is also the way through which I applied to college and now find myself going to attend a wonderful university on a full ride. In writing this now, I’m still not sure this has all happened to me. It must be a cosmic joke. By design, few know about QuestBridge because it targets a small subset of students applying to college: specifically, first generation low-income students of color. QuestBridge is an organization that has partnered with 45 prestigious colleges and universities so far—the big names such as MIT and Stanford, along with other amazing but smaller liberal arts colleges like Macalester and Grinnell College—and the catch is that students who “match” with one of the schools they rank are offered a full scholarship to the school. Coming from a family affected by unemployment, this opportunity meant a lot to me. The other catch is that the chances of getting matched are extremely low. Out of 16,500 applicants in 2021, 6,312 were Finalists, and only 1,674 were matched across the nation. No pressure, right? None. It’s not necessary for me to hash out the details of applying through QuestBridge; one can go onto their website for that. I will say this: never has an application asked so earnestly to get to know me, and of course it’s by design, but the sentiment holds water nonetheless. In addition to a biographical essay (analogous to the personal statement on the Common App), they ask for short responses, a topical essay, and quick takes. And that’s all before the supplements of each individual school. The cynical take is that it’s all mere marketing and one has to sell oneself. But that perspective leaves me inert and nihilistic and with a blank Google Doc. I work when I feel hope. Screw canvassing and knocking on colleges’ doors, begging them to let me in. I have things to offer. I have more self respect than that. I will take advantage of those word counts, and make the words count. That mindset carried me through the September 28 deadline and then the November 1 deadline. It carried me all the way to December 1, otherwise known as Match Day. In retrospect, I put a lot of blind faith in myself. I knew the odds were against me; if I didn’t match, I would have to go through Regular Decision (QuestBridge doesn’t let you apply to any universities by the early deadline, save for those with rolling admissions and state schools). The process that I started early in the summer would be doled out until next May? Unacceptable in my head. Yet I knew the reality could certainly be a sure thing. That being said, there was something comforting about going on a different path than just the Common App. I was taken out of the regular pool and the toxicity that comes with it. I also had a tremendous amount of support. I wasn’t without the help of such a large village of counselors, advisors, and friends. The intensity of their support and sage advice floored me at times. People believing in me when I didn’t cracked my chest open in some type of inexplicable way. Having said all of this, it’s fair to do away with my words, having already gotten into college (by early December, no less). It’s a rather high horse I’m on. I have no sage advice or wise words. Maybe luck was the biggest factor in all this. Maybe faith is just fine.

Clara Shapiro Still kicking! But how is my kick? At times, my kick is but a feeble little twitch of the legs… barely a pulse here. At other times, it is the panicked flail of one who is drowning. But most often, my kick is that of a fierce Magyar warrior, a kick intended to bring down a door, the golden door of College. Admissions does remind me of a door. “Admit” or “deny,” you must apply. And if the golden door swings open—huzzah! But where, I wonder, does such a golden door lead? To an MIT fantasy realm/A corporation with you at the helm! Maybe so. And what happens if you open, instead, the humble wooden door (such as, God forbid, not an elite school!) rather than the golden one? Where will this one lead? To a bad college/After which you will go to your parents’ garage. Well, guess we know where I’m going, seeing as I think “college” and “garage” rhyme. But as I was saying. Sometimes, it seems certain to me that there are only two doors through which to pass when it comes to college: the golden gates or the dingy door to the dump. Yet at other more hopeful times, another third gate glows out of the darkness at me, and I know this third gate to be the gate of my own invention. Behind the Third Gate is a wobbling purple ether, my future’s cosmic swamp. Everybody has a Third Gate, a third world… here lie the imagined, embryonic futures that exist in people’s heads, but almost always go unspoken and unacted upon. What if, for instance, I move to a woodland shed far away to study northeastern bird calls (that is one of many ideas of mine that swirl around in my Third Gate’s purple ether.) What makes the Third Gate difficult is that unlike the two known gates of college, one golden and the other grubby, the land beyond the Third Gate is a void. Each person must invent it for herself. No one can truly say for sure what lies in store. I think it’s possible for us all to catch glimpses of our own Third Gates from time to time, and the imagined world that lies beyond, a strange sunburst in the dark. When you remember that you possess a gate to a world of your own, one of which you are the sole creator, then the gates of college (and whether we pass through them or not) seem to matter a bit less.

Aryana Singh / The Spectator

Elliot Scheuer There’s a mix of nervousness and excitement, knowing that there are so many options out there and I’m going to be moving into the “next phase” of my life and all that. The nervousness stems from knowing that so much is out of my control at this point. I can’t go back and change my grades, the extracurriculars I decided to participate in, and more. Essays are definitely my favorite (and least favorite) part of the process. I love writing, and some of the prompts, such as UChicago’s, for example, allow for some creative expression. However, there’s an element of performative uniqueness I’ve been struggling with—trying to neatly package complicated parts of myself into pithy sentences and memorable essays. I start writing an essay with the idea of just being genuine, but a few edits in, I always wonder if my genuineness is a performance as well.

Humor By CLARA SHAPIRO The lessons we take from obstacles we encounter can be fundamental to later success. Recount a time when you faced a challenge, setback, or failure. How did it affect you, and what did you learn from the experience?

Asa Muhammad The college process is, in a word, hellish. The research, dominated by ranking sites like US News, is hard enough. Having been indoctrinated into Stuyvesant elitism through jokes about “fake Ivies” and lamentations regarding going to a school with an admissions rate above 12 percent, I initially felt it intellectual suicide to consider any school below the top 10. Getting past these biases was simple enough, but reviewing college websites and attending information sessions posed a new threat. Any talk of “campus culture” is blatantly false. Schools will tout quirky and fun campus cultures despite dead eyed students and netted bridges. Competitive (selective) schools downplay the difficulty of their applications and provide a description of the school that’s superficial yet self-aggrandizing. Once research is over, one must plan. Do I meet the middle 50 percent of SAT scores at Stuyvesant? What about at my dream school? How do I write an engaging SSR without being admitted to a psychiatric institution? How do I console the teachers vying to write my recommendation? All these pertinent questions unanswered due to time constraints. As November 1 approached, it was time to write. Paralyzed by anxiety, I simply thought about writing, and then didn’t. November 1 came, and my application was bare. After expending a month’s worth of effort in one day, I ended with work I could reasonably not be disappointed in. I am exhausted, and that was only one school. If my early results come back negative, I don’t know what I’ll do.

“TOUCHDOWN”: One College Essay That Worked tion (NSSO) after decking the last few refs. Coach warned me that if I do it again, I’m off the team. Coach B looks mad. What’s his problem? “MCTOUSIK!!” he loudly states. (McTousik, by the way, is my last name.) “WHAT WAS THAT?!” “WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?” I reply. “YOU JUST WITNESSED AN EPIC TOUCHDOWN, COACH.” “YEAH, MCTOUSIK!” Coach shouts. “ON THE WRONG SIDE!” I look around … durn, he’s right. I’m in the wrong end zone. That explains the booing, I guess. From this challenge, setback, and failure, I learned many things which were fundamental to my later success. Because in that moment, I realized that I was not The Man. In the locker room, I was so mad I punched the paper towel dispenser off the wall. Coach B sat me down. My hand was bleeding on account of me punching the paper towel dispenser off the wall. Coach said something to me I will always remember: “McTousik. What is this? Are you a boy or a man?” And that’s when I knew—I would train hard. Sweat hard. It was time to do a 360. I would become The Man. To help me achieve my goals, I

began to utilize a plethora of tools— not just the bench press and power rack, but also mental tools, including determination, sportsmanship, and, most importantly, a motto, which I like to call the “M-A-N” of Football. Muscle/Mental: Firstly, Muscle was essential to achieving my success, on and off the field. I sweated as none have before. I worked out on a non-stop, 7/24 practice schedule. I

bench 9 plates and do more bicep curls than anyone on the team. The second M is “Mental,” because it’s all about getting yourself into the game. As I always say, 90 percent of the game is mental. The other half is physical. Attitude: There will always be another guy who can lift more than you. That’s just a fact of the industry. It’s like Gatorade versus Pow-

was the first in the gym in the morning, the last one to leave the gym at night. My teammates started calling me “Bencher” on account of me benching frequently. Two months after I started training hard, I could

erade—every guy has strengths and weaknesses. However, it’s all about your Attitude, how you approach the situation. A lot of guys on the team were better than me at the slide tackle. (That was a Con for me.) But

Francesca Nemati / The Spectator

“TOUCHDOWN!!!!” I state loudly, spiking the football into the end zone. Heck yeah! I am the man! I drop down to my knees and vocalize this statement again to the stadium: “HECK YEAH! I AM THE MAN!!” I wait for my fans’ cheers to come. At first, I think they’re chanting my name, which, in my case, is Bruce. BRUCE! BRUCE! BRUCE! But then I realize that it’s not Bruce. It’s BOOOOO! What is this?! They’re booing me! “What the heck?” I state, getting up. “Why are you booing me?” On the sidelines, I see the ref blowing his whistle and waving his arms. What’s his problem? “WHAT’S YOUR PROBLEM?” I vocalize loudly at him, taking off my helmet. Maybe I’ll chuck it at him. Then, I see Coach Boleslaw running toward me from the other side. I decide not to throw it because I already have two infractions from the National Sports Safety Organiza-

Once we learn to see and hold the world of the Third Gate/Then we become masters of our fates.

ultimately, I also had my Pros, because I could do the best slam tackle on the team. So in the end, it all balances out. Never Give Up-iveness: Lastly, there were many times on my football journey I could have given up. But I didn’t. Day in, day out, I practiced running with the ball toward the end zone, and I made sure to double and triple-check that it was the right side before I did my touchdown. Was I The Man? You bet. In conclusion, I learned many things from the setback that later allowed me to become stronger both physically and mentally and a better artist in the craft of football. However, most importantly, I became The Man. From that day on, I always scored touchdowns on the right side. Or the left side. Either way - the correct side. I didn’t get any more NSSO infractions for sportsmanship again, only property damage. Looking back, I am astonished by how far I have come. It’s hard to think I was once 99 percent boy, 10 percent man, and now it’s reversed. As Coach Boleslaw always says, “‘Boy’ and ‘Man’ are both three-letter words. But they are different letters.” P.S. LET ME IN.

Volume 112, Issue 8

Articles inside

From Alumni to Teachers: Are Ivies Worth It?

College Culture Is Stuyvesant Culture